Friends,Enemies & Falling In Love

Awkward Study Dates

Chapter 3- Awkward Study Dates

*Alexas POV*

I watch in disbelief and heartache as Asher just grabs his stuff and walks away. Did he seriously say that he didn’t like me like that? After the way he’s been acting recently. I always knew Myles would ever like the thought of me and Asher together. But hearing the words leave his mouth still felt like a punch in the gut. So if I followed my heart to be with Asher, my brother would completely disown him as a friend. I must of been staring of into the distance as Kayla snapping her fingers in my face brought me back around.

“Are you okay Lexi?” She looked at me reassuringly. My whole body felt heavy and my stomach was churning, I felt the need to be sick so turn around and ran a few steps before bringing up this mornings breakfast. I felt a strong hand on my back and despite knowing he walked away every part of me hoped it was Asher. The disappointment when I turned and it was Myles with a look of concern on his face. I tried to give him a reassuring smile but I couldn’t, I turned away and threw up again. Was I in this much heartache that it was physically making me sick.

“I’ll see if they will let Callum take you home” Myles muttered, grabbing my stuff and ushering me to the nurses office.

Thankfully nothing came up on the way to nurse, and she gave me a blessing to be excused from school for the rest of the day. Callum drive me home and we sat in a state of awkward silence. Once I home I gave him a quick thank you and goodbye, rushing in and out into the back garden. If mum was home she is the last person I want to see. I instinctively began climbing the steps to the tree house and pulled myself up and in. I curl up in my usual spot, drag a fleece blanket over me and cry endlessly until I fall asleep. I don’t know how long I had been asleep when I was woken by the sudden movement of being someone’s arms. I sleepily open my eyes and see those familiar emerald green eyes looking down at me.

“Asher” i mutter sleepily wrapping my arms around his neck, rubbing away the tear stains on his T-shirt as I press my cheek against his chest.

“We have to stop meeting like this Lexapedia” he whispers, sitting back down in the window seat, cradling me in his lap like he’s trying to protect me. I take in the smell of him, trying to savour every moment of his touch.

“ I didn’t mean any of it Lexapedia, not a single word” he mutters, a sob gets stuck in his throat, I pull myself away to look up at him. His eyes are swimming with tears, growing up it was very rare he ever cried, the day my dad passed being one of them. I reach and hand up to his face and cup his cheek.

“Then why did you say it” i stammer, fresh tears welling up in my eyes. I look away from him, I need to remember he caused this but seeing him this way makes me want to believe what he’s saying is true. That he didn’t mean it and that he might actually like me.

“Because you heard what Myles said, we can’t be together” a tear finally escapes his cheek and I know he’s telling the truth. I wipe the tear as it rolls on to his cheek.

“Does that mean?” I ask, I don’t know if I want to hear the answer but it’s a bit to late for that now.

“Yes it does Lexapedia” he mummers, and every nerve in my body comes alive. Without thinking I take his face in my hands pulling him towards me. Our lips are a breath apart when I stop.

“Just one?” I whisper, biting my lower lip in anticipation.

“Just one” as soon as the words leaves his lips he closes the distance, wrapping his arms around and holding tighter. His lips are so soft, I melt against him, my eyes fluttering closed. Our lips move in sync as he pulls me onto him so I’m straddling him. I gasp that as sit down, I feel him rock hard beneath me, I glow red.

“Oh s**t I’m sorry” he groans, obviously embarrassed and I can’t help but laugh.

“Are you really laughing at me right now” he chuckles, his voice sending waves of pleasure down my body.

“Yeah I did and what” I grin, I don’t know where this attitude has come from but I think I like it.

“I think we might have to make it two” he’s smirking beneath me. I grab his T-shirt and pull him back to me, my lips capturing his. This kiss was full of passion, i bit his bottom lip and I heard him moan and watch his eyes slowly close. Grinning to myself i grind on top of him earning myself another moan.

“The things you do to me Lexapedia” he moans his eyes shut. Just as i leant forward for another kiss I heard to door open to the patio. We both sprung apart, a look of terror on our faces.

“Lexi! Asher! The others are here” Mum called from the patio door. I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that it was mum who called for us and not Myles, and I see that Asher felt the same.

“I gotta go drop the car home Lexapedia and then I’ll be back okay” he sat up and pressed a kiss to my forehead, bring back all the feelings of what just happened. I nod smiling and we head toward the ladder. I climb down first and he comes after, I walk to the patio door and he goes towards the side exit. As I enter the house everyone is sat around the table waiting.

“Why were you and Asher in the tree house” Myles quizzed me, glaring through his eye lids at me. I rolled my eyes heading towards the stairs.

“I fell asleep up there, he came to check on me and woke me up. No big deal. He’s fine to drop off the car to his mum and then he’ll be back. I need to grab my stuff” I blurt out, not taking a breath at all. Everyone looked at me curiously and I groaned.

“Jesus Christ I’m not on trial, mum please tell him!” I snap, I could see Kayla grinning from her seat, whenever she has that look it’s not a good thing.

“Myles leave your sister alone, I let Asher in, he arrived a few minutes before you” mum sided with me, she is a absolute angel. I ran up the stairs to my room and accidentally slamming the door. I slide down the door taking a minute to process the events in the treehouse. Me and Asher kissed, that line Myles said we couldn’t cross we did. Realisation washed over me, I’m going to have to lie to my brother, pretend that what I feel for Asher dosnt’ exist. I feel my chest tighten and I can’t breath, every inhale feels like I was swallowing glass. I haven’t had a panic attack in years, not since the nightmares stopped. I clutch at my chest, trying to remember how to breath. Reaching for the nearest thing I can knock over my hand reaches my bookshelf with ornaments on, i Give a hearty push and a snow globe goes toppling of smashing on the floor in-front of me. I suddenly hear a stampede of steps from outside the door, just as I feel everything get fuzzy. I try and muster some strength and drag myself away from the door.

“Alexa!” Mums voice screams. The door comes flying open just in time. I see a fuzzy group of people gathered around me.

“Breath Lexi Breath” Myles sobs, dropping down to his knees beside me, holding my hand in his. I manage a few breaths and the pain each time subsides. The front door slams and another set of footsteps hastily climbing the stairs. In a instant Asher’s face appeared at the door, his breath as ragged as mine.

“Alexa!“ he gasped running to my mums side, dropping to his knees. With just his presence my breathing controls within a minute.

“I leave you for 10 minutes” he mutters, the look in eyes, he thinks this was his fault. I throw him a encouraging smile, find the energy to sit myself up.

“Got to keep you on your toes remember” I joke, everyone cracks a laugh, even Asher and Myles.

“Don’t do that to me again” Myles mutters and I nudge hun playfully. He looks up and shares a small smile, then I’m reminded of my dirty secret. I look between him and Asher quickly and sigh, I made my bed now I have to lie in it.

“I’m fine, you guys are worrying for nothing. We got studying to do and I’ll go to hell before you blame me for you all failing” I half heartedly jest, everyone falls for the facade apart from Asher, who looks at me pleadingly as if I was about to slip away. I give him a actual smile and he returns with a cocky grin. Oh that grin is going to get me in trouble. Myles and Asher help me to my feet and downstairs while mum cleans up the mess of the snow globe and the rest grab my stuff. Everyone keeps fussing over me while we study, Asher wouldn’t take his eyes off me, Kayla kept asking if I was okay and Myles repeatedly telling me to go rest despite constant dismissal.

We get the majority of the assignment done, and by that time it’s 7:00. We decide we will watch a movie in the den before we all go our separate ways. We gathered in the den, everyone getting into their usual seating positions. Kayla chose Grown Upd then curled up in Callum’s arms while Asher took his usual seat beside me and Myles and Dylan settled on the floor. Dylan had cheered up a lot since lunch, he was gutted he didn’t make it but was gonna try again next year. Myles shot Asher a warning look as the movie started, Asher throwing his hands up in the air as a humour attempt causing even Myles to chuckle. Asher placed a blanket over us and pushing his hand underneath searching for mine. Our fingers touched and the electrical feeling is something I will never get over. We threaded fingers and held hands throught the whole movie, squeezing each others hands when we needed a reminder that the other was still there.

By the time the movie end everyone was exhausted. We hugged goodbye at the door, waving goodbye to Callum who was taking Kayla and Dylan home. Asher lingered at the doorstep until Myles disappeared upstairs.

“Are you sure your feeling okay? I can stay in the treehouse if needs be” Asher whined, threading our fingers together. I giggled and stood on my tip-toes, leaning close to his ear.

“That’s what phones are for” i whsiper, I see his body jerk slightly involuntarily.

“Goodnight Lexapedia” he winked, separating our hands, the suddenly grew cold without his touch.

“Goodnight Satan” i mutter. I watch him walk down the drive, the distance between us growing further and I wish nothing more then for him to come back. I grit my teeth and turn to come inside, coming face to face with mum.

“What was that?” She was grinning and had her eyebrows raised.

“Nothing” I say a bit to fast, why does my brain fail me when I really need it.

“Didn’t look like nothing Alexa”

“Mom it was nothing honestly” I stutter, getting flustered.

“You can tell me you know? If there was something going on” she was smiling at me I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You would be the last person I would tell mum” I laugh, walking towards the stairs.

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you Lexi, he adores you, and I’ve seen the way you look at him”. Have we really been that obvious?

“And you” i point a finger at her jokingly “are looking to far into things”. She stands there grinning at me.

“You are definitely my daughter” she laughs. I carry on up the stairs and walk towards Myles room. I knock gently, waiting for a response.

“Come in”

I slowly open the door and peered inside. I find him led in bed with Pajama bottoms and a baggy T-shirt that was obviously dads.

“Wanted to check in” I smile at him, he loves wearing dads clothes, I know he won’t admit it but it makes him feel closer to him.

“It should be me checking in you” he chuckled. Atleast he was in a good mood.

“I’m all good, gonna head to bed though shout if you need anything” i yawned, he smiled and nodded and I took my leave closing the door gently on the way out. Entering my room, I closed the door and took a deep breath. If I found today hard how am i supposed to keep this from everyone. I put my phone on charge and head for a shower. I just stand there for a while, letting the water fall off me and all i can think of is Asher. How he felt underneath me, how his lips tasted. I shake the thoughts away, I have never felt like this after a kiss before. I finally get around to washing and when I’m done I step out and wrap a towel around me. I heard my phone ring and instantly ran for it. I saw the name ‘Kayla’ and I groan. I take it off charge and answer, putting it to my ear as I go to grab clothes.

“You feeling better Lexi?” She asked, I could hear the concern in her voice. Kayla and became friends when we were 13, back when my panic attacks were frequent. She was there for most of them, and each time she would ring me to check up before she went to bed.

“I’m good Kay honestly, you don’t have to do this” i mutter, the last thing I wanted was feeling sorry for me. I felt guilty about being so dismissive but I didn’t deserve the sympathy when I caused this.

“I know I don’t but i want to Lexi, you haven’t had one in years. You were fine one minute and then panicking the next. And let’s not even talk about the fact you calmed down a lot quicker when Asher turned up”.

I take a sharp breath in, I have to fight back the feelings that this was for the reason the call, to bring up Asher.

“You know what I’m exhausted I’m going bed. Night Kayla” I snapped, ending the call before she had a chance to reply. I finally pick what to wear to bed and settle on one of dads T-shirts, Myles wasn’t the only one with a collection. Mum went through a phase where she couldn’t stand being near anything remotely related to dad, me and Myles willingly took them on. Thoughts of 11 year old me walking around my room in my dads T-shirts, it hanging off me so much it reached bellow my knees. I look around my room at the old family photos and some with me Myles and Asher. I’m instantly drawn to one of all three of us hanging upside down at the local playground, Myles in the middle me on the left and Asher on the right, dad is standing behind us pulling funny faces at the camera. I manage i small laugh, I remember that day as if it happened yesterday. Thinking back I’m pretty sure I was as obsessed with Asher as I am now.

“What would you do dad?” I sob, throwing myself on my bed clutching at the T-shirt desperately. I use it to drown my tears until they just stop and I fall asleep.

My alarm went off for school and I rolled over and looked the other way. I could hear the footsteps of Myles and mum walking around the house but I didn’t have the energy to move just yet. I led there numb for a moment. My phone vibrated, I took this moment to stretch before reaching for my phone.

Satan: You ready for today? I can stay home with you if you need to x

Alexa: You can not use me as a excuse to get out of lessons Satan!x

Satan: It was worth the shot ;)x

I giggle helplessly at my phone, even on the bad days he always ceases to amaze me. I walk over to my dresser and grab a pair of black ripped skinny jeans with a knitted sweater crop-top paired with a pair of combat boots. I spin around in the mirror grinning before snapping a photo and sending it to Asher.

Alexa; *1 Attachment*

I wait for the bubbles to appear on screen, seriously appearing and then disappearing.

Satan: Lexapedia you are gorgeous x

I lock my phone and slide it into my pocket before grabbing my bag hung up on my bed room door. I walk down the stairs where the other 2 are already eating.

“Started without me you jerks” I laugh, taking a seat with them.

“Normally your here before us” Myles laughed, almost choking on a piece of bacon. The front door opened and in flooded in Asher and Kayla. I turned to Kayla, remorse spread over my face after the conversation last night, I instantly stand up and walk towards her. She opened her arms instinctively and I walked straight into them.

“I’m sorry Kay I didn’t mean to lose it on you” I mutter, I really did feel bad after and I didn’t mean to get that mad.

“I understand Lexi it’s fine honestly” she was beaming down at me, gave me a reassuring arm squeeze.

“Now I heard there was pancakes!” She drops her arm from around me and rushes to the table, everyone laughing at her but she didn’t seem to care. Asher threw me a worried glanced and I shrugged him off, returning to my seat in silence. After buttering myself some toast and forcing myself to eat it we said goodbye to mum and headed for school.

“You can have front seat today Myles” I shout behind me as we reach the car. The excitement on his face was priceless, however Asher looked as if I just told him his dog had died. I purposely didn’t call him last night in a pathetic attempt of shaking off these feelings, it wasn’t working but atleast it was a attempt. I settled in next to Kayla in the back of the car, linking arms with her and singing full blast to whatever song came on that we knew.