Too Late to Realize

E 3: TORN BETWEEN DREAMS AND A SMILE

Dalton and I parted ways after our short conversation. It wasn’t dramatic. No long goodbye. No promises. Just a quiet moment that somehow stayed with me longer than it should. I walked back to my classroom alone, my footsteps light but my thoughts heavy. The hallway was filled with noise—students laughing, talking, calling each other—but everything felt distant. Like I was inside my own world. Again. When I reached my seat, I sat down quietly and took out my notebook. The teacher was already discussing something at the front, writing words on the board that I tried to understand. I forced myself to focus. Because I had to. No matter what was happening in my life right now, I couldn’t lose sight of what truly mattered.

Dalton…

He was important.

There was no denying that. He made me feel something new—something I wasn’t used to. Something soft. Something dangerous in a way I couldn’t explain. But my family— They are my reason. They are my priority. Always. I lowered my head and started writing notes, trying to ignore the way my mind kept drifting back to him. To his voice. To his smile. To the way he looked at me earlier. I shook my head slightly.

“Focus, Eizzel,” I whispered to myself.

I can’t afford to fail. Not now. Not when I’m this close. Graduation is near. College is waiting. And my parents— They’re counting on me. I want to give them a better life. A house that doesn’t leak when it rains. A life where they don’t have to worry every single day. A life where my father doesn’t come home exhausted. Where my mother doesn’t have to stretch every peso just to make things work. That’s my goal. That’s my responsibility. And no matter how much Dalton makes my heart flutter— I can’t let myself forget that. Time passed slowly. Or maybe it just felt that way. The teacher’s voice became background noise as I continued writing, answering, listening—doing everything I was supposed to do. But in between those moments… There he was.

Still in my mind. Still there. When the final bell rang, I blinked as if waking up from a dream. Students immediately stood up, filling the room with noise again. Chairs scraped against the floor. Bags were zipped. Conversations started. But I stayed seated for a few seconds. Quiet. Still. Waiting for something. Or maybe someone. But he didn’t come. I didn’t see Dalton again. Not in the hallway. Not outside. Nowhere. Maybe he already went home. Maybe he got busy. Or maybe… It was just one of those things. Something that happens once, then fades. I stood up slowly and packed my things.

“It’s fine,” I told myself.

“It’s just… normal.”

But deep inside, I felt something small. Something I didn’t want to name. As I walked outside, the sky was already changing colors. The sun was slowly going down, painting everything in soft orange and gold. It looked peaceful. Too peaceful. And then— I remembered. Earlier. We left the court at the same time. He didn’t walk beside me. He didn’t say anything. But I knew he was there. Following. Watching. Not in a bad way. But in a way that made me aware of every step I took. When I reached the building, I paused for a second. Something told me to look back. So I did. And there he was. Standing a few steps away. Hands in his pockets. Looking at me like I was the only person there.

My heart skipped. Just a little.

He didn’t speak.

But his lips moved. “I’ll text you later.” I read it clearly. Then he lifted his hand and made a small gesture—like holding a phone to his ear. A call sign. Simple. Playful. So… him. And then he smiled. That smile. Wide. Confident. Effortless. Like he knew exactly what he was doing. I clicked my tongue softly and looked away, trying to hide the way my lips curved into a smile.

“Tsk… he really knows how to get to me,” I murmured. Because it’s true. He does. Without even trying. Just by being there. Just by smiling like that. He makes something inside me feel… lighter. Warmer. Different. And I don’t know if that’s a good thing. Or a dangerous one. I started walking again, but this time— I was smiling. I didn’t even realize it at first. But I was. The whole way. And for once… The road didn’t feel so long. The air didn’t feel so heavy. Everything felt… Okay. Even if just for a moment. On my way home, I kept thinking about him. About us. About what this is. What are we? Are we really something? Or is this just… temporary? A passing feeling. A short story. Something that will end before it even truly begins. I don’t know. And maybe it’s too early to ask. Too early to assume. But still— I can’t help it. Because this feeling… It’s new. And it scares me. Because I don’t want to get hurt. Not now. Not when I already have so much to carry. But at the same time— I don’t want to lose this. This small happiness. This quiet excitement. This feeling of being seen. Because for so long… I was invisible. Just the girl people laughed at. The girl no one chose. The girl no one noticed. But now— Someone does. Dalton does. And that alone… It changes something in me. Even if I don’t fully understand it yet. I reached home just as the sky turned darker. The familiar sight of our house greeted me. Old. Worn. But still standing. Just like us. I stepped inside and saw my mother in the kitchen, preparing dinner. My father wasn’t home yet. Probably still working. Like always.

“Ma, I’m home,” I said softly. She looked at me and smiled.

“Welcome home.” Simple words. But they meant everything. I put my bag down and helped her quietly. Cutting vegetables. Setting the table. Doing small things. Normal things. Things that remind me of who I am. Of where I belong. And of why I keep going.

But even in those quiet moments— My mind drifted back to him. To that smile.

To that silent promise— “I’ll text you later.” And for the first time in a long while… I found myself waiting. Not for something big. Not for something certain. Just for a message. Just for him. I glanced at my phone more than I should. Trying not to look too obvious. Trying not to care too much. But failing. Because I do care. More than I expected. More than I should. I sighed softly and looked down.

“What is happening to me…” I whispered.

But deep inside— I already knew. This is something new. Something uncertain. Something risky. But also… Something beautiful. And maybe— Just maybe— Dalton isn’t just a chapter in my story. Maybe he’s something more. Maybe he’s my first. My first love. My first real feeling. And maybe… Just maybe— He could be the one.

My first feeling like this.

And maybe…

Just maybe—

He could be the one.