I lower my eyes. The emotions I’ve bottled up inside threaten to release, but I try holding them back.
“Mads?” He tips my chin up toward him. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” I whisper.
“I know this isn’t nothing,” he says, wiping a tear that slipped out. “Tell me.”
I swallow hard, feeling silly for getting emotional. “What if…” I start, then lick my lips. “What if there is no ‘after the fight’ because you don’t survive,” I finally croak out. “We abstain from s*x and have no last time.”
“Is that what this is? You’re worried something’s going to happen to me, and we’ll have missed out?” he asks, wrapping a piece of loose hair behind my ear.
“Well of course, I’m worried!” I toss out my arms. “If you die, we wasted every last opportunity to spend together.”
“Maddie…” he says slowly, grabbing m
