I lay in bed for longer than I should, crying into my pillow, my mind mysteriously blank.
Or maybe not so mysteriously - maybe it makes complete sense that my body shut down in the face of the realization that I just sparked a war, sent my sister into exile, doomed my children to a life in a world that will crush them, betrayed my only ally here, and received a not-so-tacit s****l summons from a man I both fear and cannot stand.
But eventually, my mind comes back to me. Slowly, my tears abate and then stop. I lift my head, taking a deep, shuddering breath, trying hard to pull myself together.
It doesn’t come easily, composure. But with time I stand and go into the bathroom to clean myself up, waiting until my face isn’t red anymore. My sharp-eyed children will notice that.
When my face
