Warrior ◊ Star Wars

chapter eighteen; unholy revelations

"Very bad idea! That was a very, very bad idea! Why'd you let me go in there?!?"

"If you remember correctly, I told you repeatedly it was bad idea!"

"Well- no just move, c'mon move! Keep up BB-8!"

The creatures, two of them, were pretty menacing. They were covered in what looked to be some type of leathery hide. Their teeth were prominent and long, ivory tusks escaped from their mouths. They were as tall as Mara's mid-section and ran in long lunges, almost jumping to keep up with them.

Mara and Dameron were running as fast as they could downhill while trying not to trip. BB-8 caught up to them, rolling past them while bleeping to his master how most of his 'not stupid ideas' were incredibly reckless and usually stupid.

"I know buddy, I know- Watch your twelve o' clock!"

Mara looked up to the tall rock at her side. On top of it was one of the beasts, which snarled before leaping down towards her. In an effort to make sure it wouldn't maul her, she took a sharp left.

She ran between a break in the rocks, big enough for her to scurry through but too small for the wider animal to follow. She came back out into the open and stole a glance over her shoulder to see if her pursuer had made it through.

In the brief seconds she took her eyes off the route in front of her, her foot caught on a stone. Mara began to plummet down. For a moment she was airborne, then met hard rock. Pain exploded from the side of her head to her side on which she landed. She stood back up despite her new injuries, eyes wild and breathing rapid as she looked around.

Mara had fallen into a deep basin. The edge was a few feet higher than her head and posed no easy way of getting out. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears as adrenaline pumped through her, making it impossible to think of anything else besides to keep running. She was trapped with no way out.

Her brain was muddled by her pulse drumming louder and louder as she tried to make out any plan to escape the bowl. The first apparent option was jumping up and trying to pull herself up. Mara decided this was the best idea, and took a deep breath. She tried to steady her rampant thoughts, to no avail, and started running towards the opposite wall. Timing herself on when to leap, she bent her knees and shot up. Her fingers reached for the ledge before her eyes saw the beast atop it.

Mara aborted abruptly, falling back down and shrieking, "Damnit!"

The animal only sneered as she struggled to get up. It jumped down, probably meaning to end up on her, but she scrambled away just in time. Now on her feet, she shot over to the other side of the basin. When she reached the opposite wall, she spun on her heel to face the animal. It followed, tusks poised to ram her stomach.

Out of habit, Mara drew her batons from her belt and braced for the harsh impact. The force met her weapons instead of her flesh, but it knocked wind out of her. She diverted left quickly as the animal back stepped. The woman dizzily kept ahold of her batons, gulping for oxygen like a fish out of water as the beast poised for attack again. This time when it charged her, Mara side stepped fast. Just as it missed her, she was able to gauge one of her weapons into the animal's eyes.

A roar of pain bounced off the basin's walls. Green substance bled onto her hands from her batons while she ran the other way. Her breaths remained heavy, but she forced out of her lungs, "You better be dead now!"

The blow to it's eye was painful, but it only made the beast more angry. Mara realized this as it came at her faster, but now it's vision was mostly obscured. She kept moving, then backtracking as it flew past her. She tripped once again as she fell back, getting up fast as it barreled towards her.

The animal slid to a stop, yowling whilst blasts rained down on it from above Mara's head. Dameron shot more from his blaster, making sure it was well wounded before crouching down and extending a hand, calling out, "Hurry up!"

Mara didn't even think before running and reaching up after a long jump. He grabbed ahold of her, lifting up while she used her other hand to grasp onto higher ground. She tried to push herself up, her upper section almost all the way over the ledge when the animal bit at her boot. It's teeth sunk into the thick heel, not piercing her foot but dragging her down.

"You let go of me, I swear to the maker I'll KILL YOU!" She shrieked while Dameron and the beast played tug-a-war with her body. The weight of the animal kept dragging her farther and farther down back into the basin. She gripped the dirt with her free hand, but her frantic eyes caught the holster on Dameron's belt, containing a blaster. In one desperate move she grabbed the gun and looked down at the animal, firing off a few shots aimed away from her foot.

The teeth clamped on her boot loosened as it yowled, and she was pulled the last of the way up. Finally, her tense muscles softened, except the ones that held her pistol in her hand. Heavy breathes were chorused in quiet air, allowing a small minute of rest.

"You're not giving that blaster back, are you?" Dameron asked, watching the gun in her possession carefully.

She nodded her head breathlessly, the heat and adrenaline still flooding her mind and making her dizzy, "Uh-huh."

Rampant sounds of running bounced off the rocks, another beast on it's way. Mara got up to her feet, Dameron doing the same, "We've got to go."

BB-8 came rolling down to them as they sped up, shouting something about how it was still all his master's fault. He sped forward to keep up with the two as the rounded another corner of rock, again pursued by another large animal.

Turning another corner, Dameron skidded to a quick stop, crouching down behind a behind a rock to steady his aim. Mara followed the suit, her shots now more precise with support as the beast came barreling around the corner. Yes, the blasts did slow it down, but the fury it possessed seemed to drive it on. Within seconds the trio was fleeing again with it close behind.

The maze of formations that had trapped them finally posed a way out. As they kept running, the caught another downhill, passing by what looking like another abandon village before seeing a clear path to never ending desert. Mara didn't know if this was a good thing, but she ran towards it anyway.

That was before she saw the several foot wide gap across a deep divot in the ground.

The momentum the downhill had given them made it hard to stop, and stopping meant giving the animal an opportunity to catch up to them, so she shouted at the last moment, "Jump!"

Her feet left the earth beneath her, and Mara didn't have time to think or process anything besides to keep moving. Her suspension in midair only lasted a few seconds, then she met the ground again. She tumbled down on impact, the force of it coursing through her whole body, but she reached the other side.

Mara pushed her palms against the ground to get up, looking to her side to see if Dameron made it. As she got to her knees, she realized the blood splatter on the rock beside her, then promptly realized the red blood that covered the man's head. It appeared as if Dameron had hit his head on a boulder, rendering him completely unconscious, or ya know, maybe dead.

The blonde had no time to ask questions. The animal ran right towards the small chasm, and from what Mara had concluded in the few minutes she'd been running from it, the thing could easily jump the rift.

She brought up the blaster from her side, pressing the trigger as fast as she could. Beams hit the animal's face, and it tried to slid to a stop. Instead, it went right over into the chasm. She heard a loud wailing of pain before a sickening crunch, and that was the end of the chase.

Curious to see if the thing was dead, she crawled over to the side of the narrow canyon, looking down to see the mangled body. A tired, victorious smile crossed her face, and she produced two middle fingers, "Take that you piece of dung."

Mara set the gun down in the sand, laying back once she finally took a deep breath. Her body was buzzy with adrenaline from the near-death experience and the dehydration clouded her mind. She turned to look at Dameron, who still gave no signs of moving. She reached over and placed two fingers on his neck, waiting for any indication he was still alive.

A few seconds passed, but a pulse was there. She tilted his head to the side, seeing the huge cut across his temple and the quick dried blood on the rock he hit. The bruise on his forehead was nasty and guaranteed a concussion. His breaths were shallow and slow, but overall he was completely out.

She rolled back for a moment to rest. Mara had to think over her next plan, considering she had no idea when the Resistance pilot would wake up or if he ever did. There was definitely more of those creatures out there, and it would be just her against them.

She sat up, shaking her head to get the sand out of her tangled hair. The blonde let her legs dangle down off the ledge as she still formulated a plan.

Dameron did get her out of the basin, but right now he was pretty battered. He'd be useless to her with a concussion. Now, if she took the blasters and water and waited out for her brother to get her, she could have a chance.

But that raised the question of when the Order would come. She'd been here at least one day or sun cycle and then you'd think they'd sweep the planet for her or predicted her crash course by now. Yet there was no sign of anyone.

Is he okay? IS HE ALIVE?!?

BB-8 had rolled up to her, frantically looking over his master's unconscious form. Mara got up to her feet, circling around to observe the droid poke at Dameron with a metal claw, "He's alive, don't know for how long. Bad concussion."

BB-8 still kept prodding the body, making sure the blonde was right. After watching the rise and fall of his chest, he put his extended 'hand' away. His one eye looked up at her.

Well what are we going to do now?

She shrugged, honestly still deciding, "We can't stay out here to long. We weren't sure if we killed the thing in the basin, and there's bound to be more. As of where we are right now, we're probably in a square mile of it's hunting grounds."

Part of Mara didn't really want to admit it, but she'd have to leave the Resistance pilot. He was out, and it appeared like he'd stay that way for a while longer. Dragging him along would greatly slow her down, and leaving him would make it the odds much higher of her getting away. Besides, what did she owe him that'd compel her to help him now.

Not giving herself time to doubt her decision, Mara grabbed the blaster and shoved it in the holster. She bent down to Dameron, searching for the water sack.

What are you doing now!?!

Mara didn't pay much attention to the droid whilst removing the gun from his body. She checked his jacket pocket for anymore painkillers, but found none. She stood up again, hoping to convince the droid to come with her. The little guy would give her an advantage with all of the things he could do.

"Do we really want to risk our-my skin in hoping your pal wakes up? You, you little cute tin ball, don't have to worry about being eaten alive. I do, so we better start moving." She explained, putting blaster sling over her shoulder and stealing the water sack to her belt.

BB-8 became distraught after what she proposed, not moving from his spot.

No. You need to help him.

The blonde let out a laugh, the action hurting her sore throat. She swallowed, turning back around towards the astromech, not believing she was about to argue with a mechanical device, "Why? He's my enemy, he's been trying to shoot me out of the sky for the past few months, not to mention expressing dislike towards me the minute we got stranded here."

But he saved you in the basin.

"I would've gotten out myself."

But he saved you. Now you save him.

"That's not how it works."

That's how it works.

"That's not how it works if I want to live." Mara countered, starting to walk off again.

Good guys don't walk away. They help people.

She let out a long sigh, but didn't stop moving. The ball was now following close behind as he rattled on, his beeps become faster and more shrill.

You could be a good guy.

"Correction, good girl." She put up a finger once she stopped, not admitting to herself that BB-8 was starting to get to her. It was a droid for Maker's sakes!

So why not?

"Do I have to keep explaining this. I help your buddy, I get killed. Don't help him, I could live." Mara said, putting her hands on her hips as she stared down at the astromech. He didn't move, in fact, she swore his little eye focused in more on her.

I'll help you if you help him.

She was almost dumbfounded. She'd never met a droid so loyal, or so stupid. Made you wonder what the Resistance programmed into them to make their robots that way.

Still, she simply crossed her arms, almost daring BB-8 to test her stubbornness, "And if I don't help him, you stay here and run down your power until you're both as good as dead."

No. I do this.

Mara's entire body jolted. A shock traveled through her, her nerves singing in pain. She jumped away from the astromech, walking fast a few steps backward, "Ouch!"

Now help him.

Mara shook her head, flinching away as BB-8 rolled closer. She didn't need anymore added pain to what she was already experiencing thanks to heat, starvation, running away from unnamed carnivorous beasts, and the injured she attained from the crash, "No, no! Don't do that again."

Then help him!

"No!"

Yes!

Within moments, Mara became very aware she was running away from a droid who was trying to shock her. Suddenly, she started to actually consider taking Dameron with her, thanks to his blasted cute droid. Give him up as a prisoner of war to her brother? That is, if her brother ever came for her.

Then Dameron would suffer the consequences of being captured by the First Order. Yes, Mara would be commemorated, but he'd be tortured to whatever extent her brother saw fit.

She shouldn't have felt a pit starting to form over that fact. He had rescued her from the creature in the basin and spared her life, even if it met she'd end up in the Resistance's hands anyway. But that goes to show, if she helped him, he'd turn her over. If she left him, he'd be eaten and she'd be free, but it also meant her alone would have to fight the animals off.

What if her brother never came? What if he assumed she had died? Her only hope of getting off this planet after that was somehow making it to the old Empire base the Order had come to this planet for, and she didn't even know where that was, much less how to fix a radio to contact the Finalizer.

Then if she did help him, he was injured. She'd have the upper hand. He'd become her prisoner.

ZAP!

"Ow!" Mara yelped, another electric shock making her stop. BB-8 went up to shock her again, but the blonde held up a hand, "Fine! I'll help him! Just stop shocking me!"

The droid's retractable claw was stashed back into him, and his beeps became more lively, even smug.

I am glad we came to an agreement. Now help him up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why.......is.....he so.....heavy? What do feed your pilots at the Resistance?"

Food.

It had been at least an hour, and the sun had started to dip low on the horizon. The drop in temperature was refreshing, but the weight of a grown man on Mara's shoulders did not help the situation. One of her arms was looped around his leg, the other around his arm. At first, the dehydrated, tired, hurting blonde knew she wouldn't make it far. An hour later, she still held the same view.

BB-8 was rolling slowly beside her, his beeps making him sound rather smug with himself for convincing her to carry his master. Mara had tried to drag him, but another shock from the droid convinced her to full on carry Dameron across her shoulders.

Now, she as barely trudging. All her muscles were shouting at her to just lie down. Waves and waves of tiredness would come over her, her knees threatening to buckle under the added load of another body. Yet, she still went on, knowing setting him down wasn't in her best interests.

So why did you join the First Order?

The droid had decided to keep her moving by asking her questions, keeping her as awake and alert as she possibly could. Mara didn't answer at first, but she was to tired to make up a convoluted lie.

"Got offered the job." She put another foot in front of the other, eyes trained on the ground to make sure she saw anything she could trip on and successfully avoid it before she did, "Didn't have any other choice really."

There's always a choice. You did not have to go evil.

She forced out a choked chuckle, but the images of her dead pilots formed in her mind and Brendol's words stating they were nothing danced in her thoughts, "I wouldn't see it as evil, really depends on which side your on."

Good people don't hurt innocent people on purpose. That is what the First Order does.

The droid had a point, one Mara had tried to ignore for awhile. The fact of the matter was she had nowhere else to go besides the 'evil Order'. She'd would've become nothing again. What she had done the past few months, setting up better defensive strategies to actual leading them in battle, was the first thing she'd done in her whole life that made her family proud. Her father proud, even know Mara had t heard from him in years.

But in the Order, she was valued. People relied on her, and she excelled at tasks she'd been given. She was finally important.

So she took another step, bending under the weight on her shoulders, "Sometimes BB, people don't have choices. Sometimes we have to take whatever the galaxy gives us."

Even when our only choice is to kill people?

Her pilots flashed in her head, this time accompanied by more.

Mara had usually either planned out offensive raids from inside the Finalizer or led them herself when Snoke ordered more troops. Stormtroopers would pillage small towns, taking the young and killing whoever got in their way. She had never seen one and was intent on watching exactly what happened once she made sure the airspace was clear.

Mara watched a baby, probably not even a year old, be torn from their mother's dead body. That was the first time she doubted.

Her bother assured her this was right. He told her victory came at a cost. He told her over and over again what she was doing was right, that she finally gained her father's approval. That for once in her miserable life, she was impacting the universe.

That's what Mara had continually told herself over and over again. She had learned to ignore it and focused on training her pilots.

Now they were dead, and no one but her would mourn for them.

They could have no soul for all I care.

Those were her brother's exact words. He, a high ranking general who believed in total domination of known space, thought the men she trained with were expendable. And she aided him.

But for once she mattered.

But at what cost?

Look!

Mara peeled her eyes off the sand in front of her, looking directly at the lowering sun. More rock formations came ahead, which would offer them shelter for the night. A pained sigh left her lips, and she once again stepped forward.

~~~~~~~~

Mara set Dameron down against rock wall, and it felt as if she grew to inches. Oxygen came in her lungs easier, and she took in a huge breath. Her shoulders, her legs, her entire body ached in pain. Her brain was fuzzy and tired, everything was tired.

She reached out for the sack on her belt in the dark, grasping the leather. She quickly untied it, lifting it up to her mouth. Warm water met her chapped lips and slid down her dry throat. She gulped it hungrily, having to stop herself so she didn't drink it all now.

Mara rested her back on the high rock, looking up the the starry sky above. Two moons shined bright above her, casting shadows across the topless cave. She looked over at Dameron, who's slumped form rose and fell slightly as he took in shallow breaths.

He had better thank her when he woke up. If he woke up.

Mara rested for awhile while BB-8 set up the small lateen that had brought them light in the cave. Once he did, dim light relived her tired eyes.

I will keep watch.

The droid rolled outside to the desert, turning his little head to both directions to make sure there was nothing. Silence fell over the three, BB-8 ceasing of all beeps. Night blanketed them.

Mara went to take off her shoes, bending over to unlace her boots. Sore muscles made it uncomfortable to do so, but the relief of her feet being free was worth it. She let her tense muscles relax, but kept both blasters close to her side. She closed her eyes, very ready for sleep.

A few seconds passed before she heard sand churning under metal. She popped one eye open.

Mara? BB-8 had turned inwards towards her, away from the desert.

"BB, I really want to sleep now-" She said, irritated and flat out tired from carrying a man on her back per the droid's request.

I do not think you are evil.

A sick feeling settled in her gut at the word evil, but grin did spread across her face, "Thank you. Now let me sleep-"

Evil people do not help good people, even when they are shocked into doing so.

"Mhm, bud. Okay-"

But why did the Order shoot you down?

No.

Mara sat up, her words and breath gone and she felt as if she was struggling for air.

No.

She sputtered a few words, pushing them out of her throat and forcing herself to make a sentence, "Oh, okay. Maybe, um-"

No.

She was shaking. She told BB-8 to go back on watch, mumbling her words as her mind connected pieces together.

No.

I can take away your ship and your rank. I can put you right back where you were a year and a half ago, a useless girl with nothing.

Armitage's voice came to her mind. It all made sense. It all made so much damn sense.

She'd finished her few weeks fortifying their newest base for any type of aerial attack. She'd given a dozen different defensive maneuvers. Her teachings would be put into the new training program for their brainwashed pilots.

They didn't need her anymore.

And the tears came, hot on her cheeks, just like everything else on this damn planet.

She tilted her head up and let the truth she'd been fighting the last few hours finally sink in and settle into reality. More tears streamed down her cheeks as she did everything in her power to stifle a cry.

Her own brother tried to kill her.

Mara couldn't take it. There was a weight on her chest and her throat tightened and an animalistic sound escaped from her lips. She covered her mouth as she felt herself choking and slipping into a disarray of the harshness of that small fact.

Her brother meant to kill me.

She was sobbing, fingers clamped over her mouth so she wouldn't wake unconscious Dameron on the other side of the open cave. Anger and fear and hate and betrayal and utter sadness and raw hurt flooded into her lungs and she couldn't breathe. She was being suffocated by the truth and it was stuck in her throat and chest.

He doesn't need you, no one does you stupid b***h.

The words in her mind added to her agony and she heard every voice that had ever told her she would amount to nothing. She heard her father belittle her, cursing her for being a girl and being useless and nothing more than a silly, rebellious child who'd never make anything of her sad life. She heard her mother's cries as she told Mara she was the reason for her parents sudden divorce and it was all her fault. She heard her fellow cadets jeers as they ridiculed her for being a s**t pilot, only at the prestigious flight academy because she had influential parents. She heard the laughs of her 'friends' who mocked her as they burned her ship, the only thing she could ever be proud of. She heard the people of all sorts in Maz Kanata's bar who thought her nothing more than a drunken fool.

Her brother's voice screamed along with them and told her she was nothing without him, that'd she'd never be anything without the Order.

She heard every single word.

She pounded the sand in frustration as her tears pooled in her eyes, making it impossible to see straight. She was lightheaded and every time she'd reach down into her lungs for air, for oxygen, she was met with more dizziness. There was nothing left, nothing left and she was nothing. Almost as insignificant as the tiny grains of sand she hated so much. And she was going to die on this stupid planet alone with an enemy.

No, a First Order enemy. Not her's. Yes, he'd tried to kill her. Yes, he'd probably turn her over to the Resistance.

But for the how annoying he was, he was valuable. He was one of the best pilots she'd ever witnessed fly.

Keep him alive, hurt the First Order. Without her, they still would have great defensive patterns, but no one to execute them like she did.

Mara was still fighting off sobs, but in her blurry mind, she wanted revenge. The best way to get that was to keep Dameron alive.