It's Pucking Complicated

Impulsive Decisions

KNOX

My plan definitely wasn’t to bring up her engagement to Philippe f*****g Grubben until I gathered more information about the matter, but those accusatory words just slipped out of me. I couldn’t stop myself.

If she’s truly engaged to that guy, and people know about it, then I’ll end up looking stupid.

And I mean really stupid.

Imagine if Halvick knows about it. Then he’d be laughing his ass off at me instead of being mad that I’m dating his half-sister, and that would mean that all of this was for nothing, and I ended up doing more harm than good.

I can’t afford to be made a fool of, not when my reputation is on the line.

If Josh hadn’t interrupted us, maybe we would’ve gotten to the bottom of this story by now, but I’m not mad. I need to cool down. There’s no reason why I need to be so riled up about this. I’m irritated, though, and I can’t hide that, least of all from myself.

Though I’m standing away from the group, I have a clear view of the bonfire, and it so happens that I’m looking right at Phillippe. He’s seated next to Eric on the log with girls on either side of them. In fact, he has his arm around a pretty blonde right now, and she’s leaning a little too close to whisper in his ear.

To an outsider, it wouldn’t look like he’s engaged to anyone, but still. Dad wouldn’t have made that s**t up. If he mentioned it, it’s because it’s true, and where does that leave me?

Fuck.

Every day, I get a sign from the universe that this pretend relationship is a total waste of my time and a bad idea on top of that, but maybe I’m too stubborn to read between the lines.

And to make matters even more complicated…

I see Josh and Isadora walking toward the bonfire, and sure enough, Phillippe’s gaze flickers in her direction. The anger in my chest flares f*****g harder.

Without even looking at him, they choose a spot in the log across from his. Even so, his eyes don’t leave her.

What’s going on here?

Is Isadora lying to me or is there more to this damn story? f**k, I already overreacted and accused her of being a liar. I don’t know if there’s a way of coming back from that.

Maybe I should’ve just asked her outright.

But what if she doesn’t tell me the truth? What do I believe?

I have no idea what Josh and Isadora are talking about, but she seems in a much better mood as she sips her coffee slowly. He says something that makes her giggle, and I realize that I’ve never seen her smile like that. Well, I have, but she doesn’t do it when she’s around me.

The voice in my head says, I wonder why that is.

I’m determined to stay put and keep my distance until I cool down enough. I’ve made the decision to ask her about it and take things from there. If she’s lying, I’ll probably know. I’ve always been good at detecting lies, so why should it be different now?

But then Cleo and the other teammates show up, and they head straight to where Josh and Isadora are seated.

And, of course, Cleo sits right next to her, and the shift in her mood is immediate.

My feet are moving before I can even wrap my head around what I’m truly seeing. This fierce protectiveness toward her shouldn’t exist. This is all pretend, and if there’s one thing I learned about Isadora Maria Halvick so far, it’s that she knows how to stand up for herself.

That’s not enough to make me turn back, though.

I hear Cleo say something along the lines of, “…why isn’t he here then? Where’d he run off to? What’s the problem with us being friends?”

I stop right in front of him and he looks up slowly. I can see it in his eyes that he wants to challenge me and that there’s a sick and twisted part of him that actually enjoys this, but in the end, he stands up and fixes his face so he looks friendly and not predatory.

This f*****g prick.

“Speak of the devil!” he says loudly. “I was just asking your girl where you disappeared off to.”

“I’m right here,” I claim as I sit down right next to her, closer than I intended. Isadora glances at me, posture all rigid, but there are tons of eyes on us, including Phillippe’s, and something comes over me.

I don’t know what it is, but I can’t ignore it.

I turn to her, meeting her gaze, and ask in a low voice, “You okay?”

Before she can answer me, I hook an arm around her neck, pulling her even closer. She resists, but gives in seconds later, and the questioning look never leaves her eyes.

“Yeah,” she answers. “Are you okay?”

I pause, staring into her eyes as my mind races at a hundred miles an hour. I can’t pin any thought down, and so, my instinctive side takes over and I lean in to kiss her, well aware that Phillippe is still watching us.

What am I doing?

What the f**k am I doing?

Isadora is all stiff and her lips remain pressed together. I wait for a few beats before pulling back. I keep holding her.

Anger sharpens her gaze, but she doesn’t say anything. Not right away. I don’t look at Cleo, but I feel them moving away from us. Even Josh stands up and follows them. He knows the truth, so for him, this scene was probably painfully awkward. I don’t know. I don’t care.

He’s not my concern right now.

Without breaking eye contact, she asks me, “What’re you doing?”

“I don’t know,” I whisper back, barely moving my lips.

It looks like she wants to say something else, but she decides against it and looks away from me. I keep staring at the side of her head and ask myself for the hundredth time what the hell I was thinking.