Autumn Leaves & Pumpkins Please

seventeen | bob's your uncle

october 30th

london, england

XAVIER SIGHED DEEPLY WHEN WE STOOD in front of a mansion I had never seen before. He looked at me, then back at the house, then back at me again.

"Are you ready?"

"Born ready," I answered as I shrugged my shoulders. It couldn't be worse than the other times I had visited a mansion in London, besides, my girlfriends weren't here so the chance of f*****g up again was little.

"My family can be a pain in the- Suzie and Geoff, what a pleasure to see you again!" as Xavier talked an old couple passed us and waved, then he got back at me, "arse."

"I'm not surprised it runs in the family," I said where after I lightheartedly punched his muscular arm. He fake laughed and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me close to the side of his body.

On the way into the building, Xavier greeted a lot of people and I wondered if he actually knew all those people. When we entered the stunning dining room, I felt as if I was in a fairytale – everyone was dressed in beautiful dresses or suits, all kinds of sizes and colors and the decoration overall was breathtaking. Candles lit on top of the large table to enhance the posh walls and of course the paintings on them. Compared to the Montgomery's house, this was very old-fashioned, but that's what made it so remarkable and gave it ambiance.

Mr. Montgomery and his wife walked up to us, both smiling widely.

"I'm glad you could make it," Mr. Montgomery said as he shook my hand. Mrs. Montgomery gave me two kisses on the cheek and told me I looked gorgeous. Xavier just nodded, but for the rest ignored his parents.

I felt everyone looking at us when Xavier and I sat down around the table. Some jaws even dropped and it made me think about how many times Xavier had showed up with a girl on his side – either many times and they were surprised that I wasn't British, or never and they were surprised that he finally had a girlfriend. Oh, how I wanted to stand up and tell everyone that we weren't actually a couple, that we did this for the sake of money and fame. Young women threw shade at us by whispering into each other's ears and giving me nasty looks. I wanted to surprise them with my middle finger, but I decided to act as if I didn't care.

"I like Heather more," I heard one of them say.

"Xavier, who is the lovely lady you brought with you?" Mr. Montgomery said loudly so that everyone could hear Xavier introducing me. The room got quiet immediately and it made me nervous.

Xavier grabbed my hand and helped me getting out of my chair. He gently stroke a lost pluck of hair out of my face and smiled warmly at me, then he wrapped his arm around my waist again. My cheeks must've looked lobster red, because my insides were melting at that moment. f**k, how that man could act.

"This is my gorgeous girlfriend, Autumn Morris. We met during a formal business party and she was so incredibly drunk that she fell on top of the pyramid of drinks, so I took care of her in the kitchen were we kissed. Then her f*****g friends caught us, so we went to my home where we had brilliant s*x. You know what's funny too? I actually don't like her at all, but she really likes me and it's obvious, she can't keep her eyes off me! Our relationship isn't real by the way, I only use her for my company."

My jaw dropped and I tried to comprehend what I just heard. The whole room was laughing except for the girls who had been throwing shade at me and all I could do was laugh too, only a bit nervously.

"Isn't that right, love?" Xavier laughed and looked at me. I just nodded.

"You should show us some of those moves soon, Autumn. Xavier's party is coming up soon," a middle-aged man said to me.

"Wh-what moves?" I asked.

"The moves Xavier just told us about," the man said, "you met during a formal business party and he saw your bad dance moves, so he decided to join you and that's how you fell in love?"

"Oh! Yes, that's exactly how the story went. Eh- yes, yes I'll show my moves." I performed some awkward dance moves, but nobody laughed, they looked at me as if I was some sort of moron – which I absolutely was. "When's your birthday, Xavier?"

I breathed out deeply, partly relieved, mostly ashamed. I was glad that I imagined Xavier telling his family what actually happened, but that in reality he made a story up to make me look silly and cute.

"It isn't big deal, please," Xavier modestly tried to wave the subject away, but his family was determined to keep talking about it.

"It is, you'll be turning twenty-four!" a woman said enthusiastically.

"I know, don't remind me of it."

"Oh, come on, chap! Since when have you lost the plot? Parties used to be your favourites," another man said.

"I've been knackered lately, very busy with the business, you know. I don't know if I have time to celebrate my birthday, besides, we've done it last year."

"That's what birthdays are for," I said, "to celebrate them every year."

"Bob's your uncle! She's right, don't be a party pooper," another woman said.

"Who's Bob?" I quietly asked Xavier where after he laughed.

"It's an expression, doofus. It means 'there you go'."

"I'm afraid we can't force him to throw a party," Mr. Montgomery said, "but then we'll do it for him!"

The whole room started cheering. It was amazing to see how everyone liked Xavier so much. Only my mother would like it if I threw a party for my birthday and of course my friends, but the rest of my family wouldn't give two f***s. I didn't recall if they even knew my age.

"Bloody hell, why can't you just let me be. I don't want a party, I have priorities and celebrating such a useless thing is not one of them," Xavier said harshly. He seemed to shush everyone by adopting that deep tone of his.

"You're only twenty-three, darling. Live your life while you still can, don't worry about business too much, that'll come later. Grab a drink, will you?" Mrs. Montgomery said.

He groaned at his mother.

"I'm leaving."

"Xavier," his dad stood up as well, kind of warning him to stay.

"I have a signing session for my book in three hours. Good bye."

Inside the car, he didn't talk much. He stared out of the window once again with his hand supporting his head as he seemed very tensed. I wanted to ask him many things, but I decided not to, I didn't want to make him even more irritated. He sighed a couple of times and peered at me. From the corners of my eye, I could see him staring at me. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to read the expression of his face – it was just blanc.

"Do you want to go somewhere, perhaps?"

I looked at him and shook my head.

"It's okay if you want to go home."

He laughed a bit, then whispered something inside the driver's ear. When he sat back in his chair, he kept looking at me with a mischievous smile decorating his face.

"What are you up to?" I chuckled.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out," he answered.

"Oh god," I moaned and he laughed.

When the car stopped, he basically pushed me out and ran into the store. I had a hard time keeping up with him, until he stopped running and grasped for air while he put his hands onto his knees. I laughed when I caught up with him and gave him a pat on his back.

"Why did you take me here?" I asked as he stood up straight.

"Because..." he grabbed my hips and pulled me closer, "we're doing grocery shopping for tomorrow night."

"You're a freak," I said.

"I know right."

"Like really insane."

He poked into my hips and started walking through the shelves of products. How could one possibly have mood swings like these, so severe? I watched him from behind as I listened to the music that was playing. Maybe I'm Amazed by Wings played quietly through the store, but loud enough for me to inspect the words. Xavier seemed to enjoy the song as well, because at the end of the aisle he spun around, grabbed a cucumber and held it closely to his mouth. He reached out his arm to me from the long distance between us and started singing along. I crossed my arms and shook my head at him. When the song's end neared, he gestured that I should come to him.

"No, you come to me!"

"Really?" he asked, "How dare you say that after my splendid performance."

"It sucked."

"You'll suck tonight."

"You're immature!"

"You're hot in that dress!"

He acted as if the cucumber was a sword and threatened me with it.

"If you don't come to me now, it's going to be either the cucumber or my d**k tonight."

"Good God," I moaned as I finally headed towards him, "the f**k do you want?"

"What do lovely ladies eat on Halloween, Winter?"

"d**k most of the times," I replied.

"So I can't make d**k jokes, but you can? You hypocrite," he said offendedly.

"That's because I don't have a dick."

"You can have mine."

I put my hands onto his chest and got a bit closer. He frowned his brows at me, but didn't move at all.

"Only if you stop joking about it."

"Alright, alright." He grabbed my butt without shame and squeezed it. "For real though, do you eat cake or something?"

"Sure. I'll grab some things."

"Yes, you do that."

"And why exactly?"

"Can't tell you, it's a surprise."