Autumn Leaves & Pumpkins Please

fourteen | steamy dreams

october 28th

dallas, america

COMING HOME AFTER A NIGHT of drinking felt rather odd. When I unlocked the door of my apartment and came in, a soft light came from the living room. I was sure that when the girls and I left my apartment, I switched off every light. Slightly confused and scared, I walked towards the light and when I entered the room, my mind got blown.

Candles. Everywhere.

It gave my apartment a whole new ambiance; very cozy and romantic, especially since fall leaves colored in red and orange decorated spaces between candles. This was the view I had been dreaming of. I took off my coat and tried to discover who has put all this effort into making my apartment nice for once.

Just when I was about to ask if anyone was there, flames of tea lights carefully put down in a line towards my bedroom started fluttering. I followed the sign and slowly opened the door. From the moment the door moved away from the doorpost, even more flames started flickering inside of my room – there were more candles. The worst part about it was that how further I pushed the door, how louder I Want To Know What Love Is started playing. Actually, the worst part must've been that the song reminded me of Deadpool.

I stepped inside my room and there he was sitting on the edge of my bed with his face ever-so happy. As I came closer, he smiled more and more, but I could only focus on the reflection of lights dancing in his dark eyes. I was so overwhelmed that I didn't know how to properly react to this surprise.

"Hello, Autumn," Xavier said.

I couldn't stop smiling, but covered my mouth with my hands. If this was an apology, he sure was forgiven. He let out a chuckle where after he stood up.

"I'm sorry for being a bloody arsehole."

"You really didn't have to do this," I said.

"A woman like you," he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. The scent of his cologne made feel like pudding and the warmth of his body made my insides melt, "needs to be treated like a damn princess. I fancy everything about you, Autumn."

"Stop it, you fool."

"No, you doofus."

He gently placed his fingers under my chin to lift up my head. From this distance and in this particular light, his moisturized lips seemed thicker and softer than ever before, his eyes seemed greener and sparkly, his face was perfectly contoured and his dark hair was naturally shiny. I let one hand go through his hair, while the other one rested on his cheek. His smile spoke more than words. Xavier was the type of man who spoke through body language, not through words, those were just to fool you.

"I hate to say it, but I think you might be more beautiful than me. You're stunning."

I laughed.

"I came back from the bar, you must be lying. Anywho, I love all of this, but when did you arrive in America again? Why did you leave anyway?"

"The questions. Always those questions. How about we just enjoy this moment?"

As cliché as it seemed, he stroke a pluck of hair out of my face and caressed my cheek. Then he leaned in and kissed my cheek. I closed my eyes and felt his tongue running across the skin of my cheek, then my neck, my forehead, my mouth and nose.

I giggled and opened my eyes again.

Xavier had transformed into a dog. It took me a couple of seconds to realize that it was all a dream and that my dog was on top of me, licking my whole face.

"Bubbles, for f**k sake!" I pushed the golden retriever off me and moaned.

I didn't even remember coming home last night, so I grabbed my phone which was laying on top of my nightstand. I read through my messages.

troy bolton cult – 11:28 am

fadoua drew and I brought Autumn home last night so she's fine

valentina why tf drew

fadoua we found Autumn outside she was wasted

valentina lol what were y'all doing outside

fadoua why are you being a bitch

valentina because why the f**k would you trust someone like drew

xavier montgomerwhore – 6:11 am

I want to sincerely thank you for giving me so much material to blackmail you

What the f**k did I do last night? Before blaming Becky for every stupid thing I might have done, I decided to give him a call.

"Bugger off!" his raspy voice shouted through the speakers of my phone.

"Good morning to you too, Xavier."

"It's half pas seven in the f*****g morning, you idiot."

"So you're not in America?"

"Your hangover isn't serving you very well, is it? Of course I'm not in the USA."

"Okay," I breathed, "Xavier, what did I say to you last night?"

He laughed mischievously. It was as if I was calling Satan himself.

"Xavier, please!"

"Calm down, woman. It was nothing special."

I let out a deep sigh of relievement, but then he started talking again.

"Only that you will come to London tonight."

"What?!"

"And that you find me well... very attractive. You talked about how you couldn't wait to 'suck my d**k' again 'like a f*****g vacuum' – your words, not mine. That offer was indeclinable, so I helped you book a flight to London."

"This is not the time for jokes. I swear to God if you're seri-"

"I am serious, love."

"I f*****g hate you. I'm not going to f*****g London, what do you think about university? I have f*****g classes to attend, Xavier! I can't throw away my whole life because of our stupid deal."

What I was saying, sounded strange in my head. Everything I said was like a lie to stop myself from making dumb choices. I actually didn't mind going to London and spending time with Xavier, especially after how my dream made me feel about him. But I couldn't just drop out of university of God knew how long. Or maybe I could.

"A little bird told me you aren't so keen on your study. I figured you wouldn't mind missing school for a couple of days, or well, that's what you told me last night."

"I was drunk."

"You were honest."

"I really can't go, I have a project that needs to be turned in tomorrow. I'm not even finished."

"Drop out already."

"You want me to end up jobless?"

"I want you to end up doing something you really like, not something your parents forced you into."

"How do you know that?"

"It's obvious. You never talk about your study and everyone brags about their study when they like it. I don't know why else you chose to do it."

"You're right. I hate it."

"Then drop out. I'll help you find what you really like when you come to London."

A couple of hours later, I decided to meet up with my friends. We all went to Lily-Rose's house and her chef made us delicious lunch.

"Want some?" Lily-Rose held out a bottle of wine and looked at me.

"Oh, if I smell that I'm going to throw up," I answered.

"Since when are you such a p***y?" Gwen asked.

"Since I'm twenty-one and my liver stopped working."

We sat around a large table in Lily-Rose's parents house. She still lived with them, just like Fadoua and Sadie. Gwen, Valentina and I lived on our own, Valentina and I mainly because we moved out with our former boyfriends. Gwen because she used to fight a lot with her folks.

"I have to tell you guys something," Fadoua said as she blushed a bit. We all waited for her answer. "Drew kissed me last night."

Everyone started cheering, except for Valentina – she looked rather disappointed. I knew that Valentina was always caring for Fad, but lately, her behavior got a bit weird. She seemed jealous of people who connected with Fad and tried to keep her from everyone except for us.

"We're so proud of you!" I exclaimed.

"I can't believe he was your first kiss," Valentina rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"What do you have against him? He accepts me the way I am," Fadoua said.

Valentina shrugged and started inspecting her nails which was a sign that she wanted to end the conversation right there. I looked at Gwen and Lily-Rose who were as confused as me, but we decided to drop it. Mood swings were normal and completely accepted within our squad.

"Did you know Alex is into you?" I asked Val. She looked up and started laughing with a mocking undertone.

"I don't give two shits about Alex."

"Good, you only have to give one."

"What's up with you and trying to get us together with friends of Chris?"

"Chris' friends are my friends too."

"Or is that your way to get involved with him again?"

"Valentina, f**k off," Gwen jumped in, "the f**k is your deal?"

"Am I the only one who is seeing this?" Valentina looked at the rest of the girls with an offended expression.

"Yes," Lily-Rose and Sadie replied in unison.

"Somethings is up with you, Valentina, stop hiding it by acting like a b***h," I calmly said.

She stood up giving us a single look, put on her coat and walked away. Fadoua wanted to follow her, but I held her back.

"She needs some fresh air, you know Val when she gets mad. We'll figure out what's up with her, alright?"

Fadoua sighed deeply and nodded. She glanced at the door a couple of times, but then continued eating. Gwen suspiciously looked at Fadoua, so I tried to figure out what she was thinking about. It looked as if she knew exactly what was going on, but when she caught my stare, she spoke up about something else.

"How's your life?"

"And by your life she means Xavier," Sadie giggled.

I took the bottle of wine and poured my glass while I thought about what was going on with that man. It was better if I just was honest with my friends, even though what I was going to say was going to humiliate me.

Good bye, last tiny bit of dignity. It was nice having you.

"I had such a romantic dream about him. He had filled my apartment with candles and apologized for being a d**k. I called him this morning and he told me that I told him that I wanted to have s*x with him and stuff."

"Oh, that's why you were outside," Fadoua said, "you're giving him everything he wants. I don't blame you for liking him, it's your own choice after all, but maybe you should be a bit harder on him. He is used to getting everything his way."

"Hey, I was drunk!"

"No excuse, sis."

"I knew you were going to like him!" Sadie shouted.

"Me too," Lily-Rose said.

"Shut up. You know how I feel about hearing the truth, it makes me want to stab myself," I sighed.

The girls laughed and shook their heads.

"I'm going to London tonight," I said, "how am I going to act?"

"Damn. I've never heard you giving in before. Are you sure you're over Chris?" Gwen asked.

"Of course she is! Xavier is way better than Chris." Lily-Rose winked at me.

"Is he really? He has s*x with fifty girls in one month, I have this weird feeling that he's worse, but why would you listen to me?" Fadoua frowned her brows at us and shrugged her shoulders.

"He deserves a chance," Sadie replied.

"And so did Chris, now look where he ended up."

"You have a point there."

"I know."

"Chris got a second chance. Xavier never got a first chance, that's unfair," Lily-Rose said.

"Well, she did give him a chance to f**k the s**t out of her." Gwen grinned at me so I gave her the middle finger.

"He just- I don't know... He has this something I crave. It's hard to explain. I don't want to like him in that way, but I can't help it. It's not something I can just stop doing, because I keep thinking about him whether I want it or not," I explained, "I can't believe you guys were right, I thought I really wasn't able to start liking him after Chris."