The Scarlet Phoenix and the Prince of Winter

Chapter Fifteen

That makes sense. And that fits. This was what the Crown Prince's mother was talking about in that letter when she said something about a sacrifice.

I could not believe it. So the deceased Queen really did sacrifice herself in order to save her only son from dying. She has to purify the ancient elixir for it to work on the young prince and it cost her her life.

Learning about this was both heartwarming and disturbing. It's heartwarming for obvious reasons. The Queen just did what any mother would do for her child, and that is to do everything in her power to make sure that her child is alive and well. But it is also disturbing because if this was all true then the Queen had risked her life as well as the Crown Prince's for something that she was not even sure if it would work. Just as Mitaur had said anyone who was desperate enough just like the Queen would have tried everything just to cure her son's illness (even if the method was unorthodox or was not tried and tested by the rest of the kingdom.) But if she was just in her best state of mind, I don't the Queen would even consider doing a very sketchy things such as using our own blood to purify a toxic potion.

And if it was not sketchy enough then common sense would have gotten over the Queen and that she would probably have investigated first before trying it. She would have asked every knowledgeable person in the kingdom back then if the procedure was worth the risk because what if it failed? Then the Queen and the young prince would have both died. But then again, the Queen was not on her right mind at that time. And understandably so, as anyone on that very same circumstance would have lost their minds.

Imagine having your one and only son get an illness that would cost him his life if it was not treated immediately. Based on the Queen's actions and also from the letter she sent to my mother, the Crown Prince might have been on the brink of death when the Queen decided to try what an ancient elixir could do.

I guess the only silver lining on this was the fact that the ancient elixir really worked. It made me so happy too knowing that it saved the Crown Prince's life and that it was not just some c**k-a-bull story of imaginative people back then. A flower of that rarity and importance really did exist and can cure a grave illness when it was made and purified in a way an that to me is the most beautiful sad story I have ever heard in years.

So I was not surprised that tears were flowing from my eyes when Mitaur told us what really happened back then with the deceased Queen. I was crying out of sadness and pain, but not for me, but for the Crown Prince. And speaking of the Crown Prince, he was in a state of shock that it was hard looking at him. His eyes were bulging but they were also wet and leaking with tears. His mouth was open and it looked like he forgot to breathe, but his chest was heaving from all the information that he just got.

I badly wanted to hug him right now. I wanted to console him, to comfort him. I wanted to kiss him to ease his pain. I wanted to whisper to his ears that everything will be fine, that his mother just did what she could do to save her. But I was afraid. I was afraid because despite the clear pain that he was showing us on his face, anger was also evident in him, particularly in his eyes. He was furious. He was mad. And I know why.

"I'm so sorry, Your H-Highness," Mitaur whimpered in front of him. "It's all my fault. I should have not let it happen. I should have lied to her to save her. But the Queen was persistent---"

"Then you should have purified the potion yourself!" the Crown Prince bellowed again at her and she fell backwards from the shock that she got from it. Even I almost tripped if I was not able to hold on to the table quickly. Prince Kao's face was livid as he stared down at Kaylie's grandmother. "Why does it have to be her? Why does it have to be her blood? Was she the only relative that I got? Why does it have to be her that should have died! You could have done something!"

He was hurt and he was in anguish and that made me cry more than ever. Now that the truth about his mother's death was out, I think he'll be this angry for quite some time and I was scared for him. In this state, he could do something bad that would tarnish his good reputation and I don't want that to happen to him. He's the only deserving person to replace his King father and if ever something bad happens I think I will never, ever forgive myself because I am partially to be blamed for all of this.

If I did not make him come here then he would have not been like this. But what do I know? Only a few minutes ago, I did not even have a clue on what an ancient elixir is. I did not even know that my mother used to know the Crown Prince's mother. To me, that was the most surprising of all. Not only because the two women did not share anything in common at all but because of what I read in that letter. I still remember what the Queen said on that letter addressed to my mother clearly, and that was---

"Your mother did not want anyone to know about what she was trying to do, Your Highness," said Mitaur that interrupted my train of thought. "She wanted it to be a secret because everyone involved in that kind of thing would have been sentenced to death if your father discovered it. The Queen wanted everyone involved to be protected no matter what happens to her---"

"So you are telling me that my mother wanted to save you but not herself! That's ridiculous!"

"I know, Your Highness! I am at fault!" Mitaur cried and somehow I also feel sorry for her because what can she really do back then? It is not as if she could put sense into the Queen when she was just a nobody. And everyone is obligated to follow whatever the Royal Family tells him to do. "You can punish me and I will wholeheartedly accept my punishment! All these years... I have been carrying this guilt and I will never forgive myself---"

"You should have told my father about this!" Prince Kao hissed. "He also doesn't have a clue of what really happened back then! He deserves to know what killed his wife at the very least!"

"I was scared..." Mitaur muttered. "I was scared not only for myself but for my whole family as well. Your father is known for his cruel punishments... He could have easily decided to punish my children too!"

"I don't care about your family!" Prince Kao shouted and that made me gasp. He was now being eaten alive by his anger and I think I should do something about this by now. I don't want him to do something that he will regret later on.

"Uhm, Your Highness, I know that what Mitaur did was not good, but she could not really refuse the Queen, did not she? Like what she just told us, your mother used to work in Mitaur's potion store when she was young, so she would probably know if Mitaur was lying to her. It was impossible to disobey her either. There was really nothing Mitaur could do---"

"There was something she could do, Rainha! So don't try to lessen the guilt she should be feeling by now!"

"What could she have possibly done?" I asked and he glared at me. I know that I was going to earn his ire after this but I also don't want him to be vindictive. I want him to wake up from this anger dream of his.

"I refuse to believe that there was no other way to cure my illness back then! It's so ridiculous, Rainha! Now, imagine if my mother did not somehow manage to obtain that flower? So it would have meant that I would have died back then?"

I nodded and I know that he was not happy with what I was doing. I guess he wanted me to side with him, and I do, but not in the way that he wanted me to. I wanted to be the one who will knock some sense on him, by his side. I don't want to be the one who will connive with him with all his arrogant schemes. That is not me.

"You probably would have died. But we now know that your mother died in order to save you. So it was very lucky of her that she found a way before you succumb to your illness back then, right? Mitaur just did what she was told to do---"

"You are just saying that because you don't know what I feel right now---"

"But I do," I told him bravely that even Mitaur looked at me with bulging eyes. She must have not expected that I would talk back like this to the Crown Prince. And so do I, but I love him, and sometimes we need to do outrageous things for our loved ones. "You might have forgotten already, Your Highness but I also lost my parents when I was young."

His expression softened at what I said a little bit, but I know that he was still angry. "Don't compare our past, Rainha..." he warned but I did not care.

"I am not comparing. I am just trying to show you that I know what you feel. The circumstances might be different but we both lost parents at such a young age, right? And we both don't know how they died. I would have said to you that I envy you now that you know how your mother died but I know that it is not something to be envious of---"

"Because it is not."

"Right. Because it is not," I repeated. "But please, don't put all the blame on Mitaur. I also don't like what she did because she aided your mother's death but your mother chose how she died. No one forced her to do it."

"But it could have been prevented." He was talking at me more calmly, so I felt like I already succeeded since my only goal was to lessen his anger.

"Yeah, I know. And it sucks, right? A lot of things could have been done to save your mother. They could have tried a lot of other ways to save you but they chose the hardest one. But it paid off, Your Highness. It cured you of your sickness. Your mother's sacrifice was not brought to naught."

"She didn't have to die---"

"And so do you," I told him. "If they did try other ways, I guess your mother might be still alive today but you might not."

This put him into silence and I think I know why. I just broke his anger and now he's just feeling hurt and melancholic. He then turned around and faced the wooden wall to hide his face. His shoulders were shaking though which meant that he was crying which made me cry too.

"I know It's painful, Your Highness, but you are alive. If your mother was here, she would have told you the same thing. She would have told you that everything was worth it because she succeeded in saving you."

"We don't know about that," he replied softly. "We will never know what she will say if she was here... And that's because she's dead."

***

We left Mitaur's house in a storm. Not the literal snowstorm, but of the way he stormed out of the house after all that I said. I stayed for a couple of minutes talking to Mitaur, saying goodbye to her and sorry as well, before I followed the Crown Prince.

I thought that I would not be able to find him, thinking that he might run away so that I could not catch up with him, but I surprisingly found him sitting under a dead tree. a huge root was growing above the frozen ground and it was there where he sat despite the cold.

"Your Highness!" I called and he looks up at me. "Why are you---?"

"You don't have to follow me anymore," he said before I can even finish my question. "I no longer require you to accompany me."

My heart sank at that but I tried my very best to show him that it did not affect me that much. "What are you going to do then?" I asked him. "Are you going back to the palace?"

He shook his head. "I want to be alone right now, Rainha. Please."

I nodded. "Alright. I'll let you be. But please, Your Highness, stay somewhere warm. You are the Crown Prince. We don't want anything to happen to you."

He was looking at me with an unreadable expression. "Where should I go then?"

"Uhm, in a hostel, maybe?" I suggested.

"No. People will see me there."

"Then go to the school, maybe? I think it will be empty at this hour---"

"It's too far, Rainha."

"Oh. Then I think you should just go home---"

"You're so naive, aren't you?" he said to me while looking at all the other directions other than me. "When I asked you about where should I go, I was expecting you to offer your house!"

"What? But I thought... I thought that you were angry with me?"

He was now looking at me and I find it cute that he was shy right now. Plus the fact that he was probably shy because of me, I think I'm going to faint!

"I was, but not anymore," he admitted.

"Oh."

He nodded for no reason. "Your house is warm enough. Plus, it's far from other people."

"It is."

"Plus, we also have to go back there, didn't we? We need to report about the men that tried to abduct you."

"Oh yeah, you are right. So shall we?" He nodded again and started walking in the direction of my house. I followed him with a wide smile on my face because the Crown Prince was heading back to where I live as if this was a fever dream that I was living for the last twenty years of my life that just came into life.