Chapter 12
933 Words
12
By the end of the day, Wendy’s head was pounding. Any new investigation was a whirlwind of trying to get organised, ensuring everything was done properly and waiting on information to come in from others.
Concentration levels were always at their highest in the first day or two of a new investigation, as this is where mistakes tended to be made. It was when the evidence would be freshest, when they were most likely to catch their man and when the most dramatic twists and turns would occur.
In this particular case, it seemed to be that they were playing the waiting game. With two victims who couldn’t be identified, a ghost van which seemed to keep changing its identity and location and very little else to go on, it was the sort of investigation that was likely to keep Wendy awake at night.
The more straightforward cases were different. Those could be neatly packaged into a logical order of events, but occasionally there were ones which really started to play with her mind.
She leaned back on the sofa and closed her eyes. All she wanted to do was sleep, but she’d arranged to have a night in with Xav.
‘So, how was your day?’ he asked, pouring her a small glass of red wine.
‘Don’t ask.’
‘Ah. One of those?’
‘Starting to look like it. At first glance it’s a simple hurried body dump, but the more we go into it the more we realise we’re probably looking for serious organised criminals.’
‘You think they were disturbed in the act?’ Xav asks.
‘That’s the logical conclusion, but CCTV says otherwise. It was half one in the morning down a quiet country lane. There was nothing to disturb them.’
‘Maybe they wanted the bodies to be found, then. A message to someone else, perhaps. Makes sense if you’re looking at organised criminals.’
‘A message to who, though? No-one can identify the victims and we’ve managed to keep it away from the papers.’
‘Well, it’s just an idea. This is why I’m not in CID.’
Wendy shuffled sideways and rested her head on his shoulder. ‘No, I think you’d make a good detective. I’m just saying it’s a bit of a weird case. It’ll all come out in the wash. It’s just a matter of time, unfortunately.’
‘Culverhouse being leant on from above?’
‘Dunno. I can only presume so. He hasn’t said anything, but I can only imagine it’s the same old shit.’
‘Listen, can we talk?’ Xav asked.
‘We are talking, aren’t we?’
Xav shot her a look. ‘About us, I mean.’
‘Ah. One of those talks.’
‘No, no. Nothing bad. At least I hope it isn’t bad. I was going to ask you what you thought about me staying here more often. Maybe making things a bit more official.’
‘Official? How?’
‘Well, I dunno really. I can take an ad out in the paper, if you like. Maybe put it on the front page of the intranet when I get to work.’
Wendy laughed and punch Xav in the forearm playfully. ‘Don’t be a dick.’
‘I know. I just meant that I like spending time with you, and I think things are going pretty well, so maybe we might like to do more of it. I dunno. Just an idea.’
Wendy smiled. ‘They are going well. I just… I’ve got a lot going on. You know how it is. It’s not me rejecting you — far from it — I just need a bit of time to get my head straight.’
‘How long, though? I mean, you can’t just keep everything at arm’s length.’
Wendy looked at him. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, I mean at some point you have to make a conscious decision.’
‘Decision?’
‘No, I don’t mean like that. I’m not asking you to choose. I’m just saying that sooner or later you have to put your head above the parapet and go for what you want. You can’t just expect everything to resolve itself.’
Wendy sighed. ‘I don’t expect everything to resolve itself. I just… I’ve had a lot going on lately.’
‘Yeah, and if you wallow things will only get worse. You need to take control of your own life. Stop taking a back seat. Decide what you want for yourself, and go out there and get it.’
She took a mouthful of wine and closed her eyes.
‘It’s not always that easy, though, is it? If it was just a case of wanting something and automatically getting it, we’d all be driving Ferraris and living in St Lucia.’
Xav let out a small chuckle — his laugh was the first thing Wendy had been attracted to when she first met him.
‘Point taken, and for most people you’d be right. Most of us don’t have the power to make things happen for ourselves. But you’re different. You’re probably the strongest woman I know. Everything you’ve wanted, you’ve managed to achieve. And the things you haven’t achieved yet… Well, they’re all within your grasp. All you need to do is put your hands out and grab them.’
Wendy could see a lot of sense in what he was saying. She wanted to be with him. She wanted stability. She wanted to progress in her career, too. But at the same time she could feel something holding her back. She didn’t know if it was the same thing holding her back in both her professional and her private life, but it was there nonetheless. She felt as if she was attached to a bungee cord, simultaneously hurtling towards one point whilst feeling the tension increasing with every metre she travelled, until finally the cord stretched taut and she went hurtling back towards her starting point.
It had been a familiar story in her life, and one she was keen not to repeat. She just needed to find a way to break the cycle. Perhaps Xav was the one to do that, she thought. Maybe becoming an inspector and getting her teeth into a new role — one with responsibility — would help her through the fug. She didn’t know, but she knew she needed to do something.
‘I know,’ she said, resting her head on his shoulder. ‘You’re right.’
- Writer
