Ethan
looks at me, troubled, when I sit back down. “Is it true?”
I
know what he’s asking me, but I can’t answer his question. Because the truth is
I don’t know the answer myself. Yes, I’m afraid; it’s undeniable. How could it
be otherwise? How could I not be afraid of suffering again? Whenever I feel my
heart beat faster, I feel it singing, but I can’t help but think of the pain
that followed the end of our relationship. But his question is more about how I
feel about him, and I have no answer to provide. Do I still love him? The
thought is frightening. I can’t love someone who betrayed me. I feel that, even
if my head could forgive him, my heart couldn’t do the same.
As
my silence stretches between us, Ethan seems sad, but it’s possible I’m
misreading his emotions. He doesn’t
