Chapter 14- "Please go away."
2005 Words
DANIELLAH
“Take it back,” I move out of his embrace.
“What?” His face fall as I move to our bedroom.
“Take back what you said,” I pause to face him. “Take it back Conrad.”
I don’t want to ruin his birthday but I am not having it, I can’t let him do this to me not now.
“Take what back? The words I said or saying it because I don’t regret either.” He pushes his wet hair back.
“Stop Conrad,” I’m close to begging. “I already have so much on my plate, I don’t need this!”
“Need what? I don’t expect you to say it back,” he raises his voice as I walk to closet with him shortly behind me.
“Good because I’m not saying it back!” I snap and grab one his t-shirts on the shelf and pull it over me before dropping the gown.
“Wow, 1 step forward and then 3steps.” He grabs black boxers and slips them on before dropping his towel.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I follow him to the bedroom after picking up the towel off the ground.
“It means my darling wife that every time we make progress you can’t help but back pedal and sabotage us.” I have to fight the urge to scoff.
“Excuse me? Sabotage us?” I go to the bathroom and fling his wet towel and the bathrobe I was wearing in the hamper.
“We just had mind blowing s*x, repeatedly after being apart for nearly 4months and the first thing you do is bug out because I said—”
“Don’t you dare repeat those words to me.” I glare him before he can continue. “And I’m not sabotaging anything, you are!”
He is ruining everything making things complicated.
“Me!” He scoffs as I pull the sheets off the bed roughly.
“Yes Conrad! I wanted to celebrate your birthday, give you your gifts and—”
“And what compensate for being a shitty wife?” I gasp. “No number of gifts in the world would make up for you missing every important holiday and then nearly missing my birthday.”
I step back like he just slapped me across the face.
“That’s not fair,” I fight tears as I grab new sheets and lay them across the huge bed.
“No what’s not fair was you ghosting me, then proceeded to gaslight me.” He pulls the sheets to get my attention, “you were gone for months, didn’t call or text for months and didn’t even bother to give me a reason.”
“What do you want me to do Conrad?” I pull the sheets back and lay them on the bed again. “I come from a f****d up twisted family okay!” And I don’t want anyone close to me getting caught in the crossfire.
“No not okay!” He snaps, “I am your husband Dani whether you like it or not and that means you don’t have to deal with stuff alone anymore.”
“Stop,” I breathe.
“I’m at my end here Daniellah! You shut me out for months, Months! You didn’t call, didn’t check in and you were not there when Bruno got sick!”
Anger is dripping from his voice.
“You weren’t there when he had to get surgery or there when he woke up.” I fight the tears rushing to my eyes but when he says, “you’re never there!” one tear escapes and runs down my cheek.
I thought I could do this.
Thought I could give him a nice birthday then ask for a few more months but I’m just prolonging the inevitable.
“Dani I—”
“Just stop! You made your point” I don’t bother to hide the tears. “I’m horrible sister, a bad wife and an even worse daughter.” I turn and head for the bathroom.
“I didn’t mean—”
“I got it.” I raise my hand to stop him, “I f*****g got it Conrad now please just leave me alone.” I walk into the bathroom and slam the door before locking it.
I try to calm down by splashing water on my face, but it only makes more tears stream down my face as I try to remember why I’m here, why I’m doing this.
It’s all for Kai, hold it down for Kai.
I’ve been fighting tooth and nail looking for my brother. I live in constant fear imagining what my father has been doing to him but in doing so I neglected my husband who was already contemplating leaving me.
I am so out of it, but I tried with everything in me to make his day special, to make up for being absent but it still wasn’t enough.
It’s never going to be enough.
I try to pace out my anxiety out but I end up feeling dizzy so I slide against the wall facing the door and just full on break down.
I try to choke down my sobs but the pain in my chest is making it physically hard to breathe so I do what I used to do when I was younger, I ball my hand into a fist and pound it against my chest.
It’s a way to stop the pain from latching on to my heart.
“Dani?” Conrad’s voice travels through the door, “please open the door. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
I can’t do this.
It’s too hard.
“Dans? Please…” he taps softly on the door. “Please let me in.” He pleads as I pound faster on my chest.
“Dani?” he taps again crippling me as I wipe my cheeks.
“Just please,” I beg my fist hitting my chest. “Please go away,” my voice falls apart.
I can’t find my brother, my father iced me out and my husband who I haven’t seen in months just made me cry. The 3 men in my life are the ones causing me the most stress and anxiety and its making me lose it.
Its getting too hard.
CONRAD
I made her cry.
Dani did everything to make up for these past few months, but I got mad and shouted at her then I made her cry.
I have to be the world’s worst husband right now.
I listen her to try to choke down sobs as I slide against the bathroom door, I know this is more about what she’s been going through and instead of trying to take her mind off it I added to it.
“Dans?” I whisper when her crying trickles into the 3rd hour. “You don’t have to open but I want you to know I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
I wait for her to jump in but she doesn’t so I continue.
“Because when you love someone, you stick by them no matter what.” I play with my ring, “and I’m with you. I am sorry if I made you feel like I wasn’t. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” I whisper the last part to myself.
“I’m just sorry.” I hit my head against the door and close my eyes.
I get woken up by Bruno licking my hands, I try the door again and it gives away immediately. I walk into the bathroom find it empty which is weird since I didn’t see her come out.
“Dani?” I walk to the closet to find it empty as Mars sleeps in the corner. “Dans?” I call again as I go down the stairs.
“I’m in the kitchen,” I sigh in relief when she answers.
“Morning,” I greet as I put Bruno down so he can play around the house.
“Hi,” Dani’s face is covered by the fridge door.
Her laptop and a bunch of papers are on the kitchen island next to a Red Bull can, I take the seat opposite to hers and brace myself for anything.
“Do you want breakfast? Stacy is doing laundry but I can make you something to eat,” she closes the fridge and reveals herself.
Her hair is slicked back in a low bun and she’s wearing a bit of makeup, so her eyes are not as puffy as I expected.
She’s in a long sleeve white silk blouse with a deep v neckline and black slim fit dress pants, black pointy heels on her feet.
“No, I can manage.” I stand when she sits down, “are you going somewhere?”
“Lawyer’s office,” she closes her laptop and puts it in its bag. I’m about to comment but I see her put a thick yellow envelope in her handbag next.
“What for?” My heart’s pounding but I’m trying to act cool.
“A few things,” she can’t even look at me. “I’m going to be out all day, so don’t wait up.” She hands her bags to Ceasar, and he disappears through the back door,
“Dani?” I call as she turns to follow him, “are we okay?” I ask when she looks back.
I can’t help but feel nervous, she managed to leave the bathroom, shower and get ready without waking me up. Now she’s going to meet with a lawyer while she has divorce papers.
“We are,” she wears her black shades and walks out.
Since it was my birthday last night I made sure to push my meetings to the afternoon, so I’m due to go to work at 2pm and right now the time is 10:13AM which means I have time.
After Stacy makes me a quick breakfast, I go back to bed and have her wake me up when its time to get ready to go to work. My meetings run late so I get home around 8PM to find Dani washing a plate.
“You already had dinner?” I greet as she puts it on the dish rack.
“Yeah, I grabbed take out.” She begins to pack all the papers that were laid on the island. “It’s in the fridge.”
“It’s okay, I had a late lunch.” I lie as she looks at everything but me.
“Cool, I have to go to Briar the rest of the week.” She closes her laptop, “I have to pack Kai’s room and pick up his diploma.”
“Diploma? Wasn’t he supposed to finish in June?” I grab a bottle of water in the fridge.
“He has enough credits to graduate so I asked the school to prepare the process,” she disappears down the hall.
I find Mars hiding in the pantry when I go in to grab cereal to eat, I decide since my wife doesn’t want to hang out with me to sit on the floor next to her.
I want to talk to Dani but I also don’t want to push her because I’m honestly scared she’ll divorce me.
“Conrad?” I’m surprise to hear her call me.
“In here,” I finish off my cereal as Mars stays unmoving in one spot.
“Why are you in the pantry,” Dani’s holding the yellow envelope in her hands as she appears in the doorway.
“I’m watching Mars sleep and having dinner,” I put my bowl down. “Did you need something?” I can’t keep my eyes off the yellow envelope.
“Yes, we need to talk.” My wife says the worst sentence in history.
- Writer
