I Didn't Plan To Fall In Love.

Chapter 16 : I Didn't Plan To Fall.

“I didn’t plan to fall in love. I planned to survive.” — Wendy

Wendy didn’t wake up thinking about love. She woke up thinking about deadlines, school assignments, and how to keep her walls intact. Love felt like a luxury she couldn’t afford — something fragile that could break her all over again. Yet somehow, Wayne’s presence lingered in her mind, persistent and quiet. It unsettled her more than fear ever had. Fear was familiar; safety, she realized, was completely foreign.

At school, she found herself scanning the hallways without meaning to, wondering where he might be. Ridiculous, she told herself, tightening her bag strap as if it could shield her from thoughts she didn’t want. She wasn’t ready for feelings. She wasn’t healed. She wasn’t the kind of girl who trusted easily anymore.

But when she saw Wayne leaning casually against the lockers, laughing quietly with a friend, something warm and strange curled in her chest — unwanted, undeniable, and terrifying. He noticed her immediately, his eyes lighting up with that quiet calm that seemed to reach inside her without permission.

“Morning,” he said, walking toward her.

“Morning,” she replied, hoping her voice sounded steady.

They walked together in silence, the space between them charged with something she couldn’t name. Wendy hated how aware she was of him — the way he slowed his steps to match hers, the way he never invaded her silence, yet made her feel seen in every subtle glance.

“You’ve been quiet today,” Wayne said gently.

“I’m just… thinking,” she said, avoiding his eyes.

“About?”

She hesitated, chewing her lip. “About how things change when you’re not paying attention.”

Wayne glanced at her, curious. “Change isn’t always bad.”

She stopped walking. “Sometimes it is. Sometimes it sneaks up when you’re still bleeding.”

He didn’t dismiss her fear or brush it off. He nodded slowly, acknowledging the weight in her words. “That’s true,” he said softly. “But sometimes it also shows up to remind you you’re still alive.”

Her throat tightened at the truth in his voice. That was the problem. She felt alive around him — and that terrified her. She wanted to run from it, wanted to slam the walls shut, but the thought of leaving this safety — of leaving him — felt heavier than any fear she had ever carried.

During study hall, Wendy tried to focus on her notes, but her thoughts betrayed her. Every laugh she shared with Wayne felt dangerous. Every moment of comfort felt like a risk. She wasn’t falling. She was slipping — slowly, quietly, without permission.

“You don’t have to like me,” Wayne said suddenly, as if reading her mind.

She looked up, startled. “What?”

“I mean it,” he said, soft but firm. “You don’t owe me feelings just because I’m here for you.”

Her chest ached. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

He smiled — not sad, not hopeful, just honest. “You won’t. Whatever you feel… or don’t feel… I’m okay with it.”

That was when it hit her. Love wasn’t knocking loudly. It wasn’t demanding or dramatic. It was sitting beside her, asking for nothing. And that scared her more than anything Calvin had ever done.

After school, Wendy found herself wandering toward the school garden, the smell of wet grass and blooming flowers comforting her in a way she hadn’t expected. Wayne walked beside her, quietly observing, allowing her space but never straying too far. She realized she was holding her breath, waiting for some invisible warning to shout at her that she wasn’t allowed to feel safe, to feel something more.

“You know,” she began, voice low, “I never thought I’d want this — someone just… being here. Not trying to fix me, not pushing me, not pretending I’m perfect.”

Wayne tilted his head, curious. “And?”

She shrugged, a small, tired smile forming. “And it scares me. Because maybe… maybe I’ll let myself care, and then I’ll get hurt all over again.”

He stopped and looked at her directly. “Then I’ll be here. Not to erase your pain, not to force anything. I’ll just… be here. Every step of the way.”

The sincerity in his eyes made her heart ache with relief and fear at the same time. She had spent months believing that vulnerability was dangerous. And now, vulnerability felt like a choice — a risk — but one she wanted to take.

That night, Wendy sat on her bed with her journal open. She stared at the blank page, then slowly wrote:

I didn’t plan to fall in love. I planned to stay guarded. I thought feelings were a liability, a trap. But maybe love isn’t the enemy. Maybe fear is. And maybe… maybe it’s okay to let someone sit beside you without running.

She closed the journal, heart pounding, staring at the ceiling. She wasn’t ready to say it aloud — not yet. Not in words. But deep down, she knew that whatever this was with Wayne, it wasn’t a mistake. It wasn’t something she could ignore anymore.

Tomorrow, she thought, maybe she could take one small step. One simple choice. Not to surrender to fear, not to rush into love, but to let herself feel safe — truly safe — with him.

And for the first time in a long time, the thought didn’t terrify her.

It felt… possible.