Chocolate Flap Jacks

4th of July

I woke up in a lot of pain. The scar on my stomach was all I had left of my “still born” baby boy. I had been crying a lot and Canada had been letting me sleep in his bed so I could cuddle up into him at night rather than be in my own room which we had already painted green for the new baby. I was still wrapped in Canada’s arms when I woke, having cuddled into his bare chest the night before. I didn’t want to get up. I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to breathe. I wanted to die at that point. There was nothing I wanted to do. I especially didn’t want to attend the funeral of my first child. But I had and it was over and now, today was a meeting that desperately needed to succeed with England.

Canada shifted to stare at me. “Good morning, Kinder…” he said in a soothing voice.

I curled tight against him so he could only see the top of my head. “Only half of that was true. It’s definitely morning.”

“Come now, Kinder. Time to get up now, ey?”

I took a deep breath and filled myself with Canada’s sent. Sometimes I swore he showered with maple syrup but at other times, like right now, he smelled of the forest and waterfalls. “I guess it is. I have to get ready for the meeting anyways…” I sat up slowly.

Mathew sat up quickly beside me to help me out of bed. “What do you want to eat?”

“Want? Nothing.” I mumbled but I knew he could still hear me. “I guess some flap jacks…”

“Maple or chocolate?”

I stared for a moment before a smile brock across my face. “Chocolate…”

Mathew smiled at me. “Okay. Chocolate flap jacks it is.” Mathew left room, still in nothing but his Canadian flag boxers.

I got dressed and made my way out to the dining room. As I reached the hall way, my phone rang. I answered. “Hello…?”

“Happy fourth of July, Kinder!” screamed America into the phone.

I stared at the phone a moment, sure Canada had heard him yell. “A-Alfred…” Tears came to my eyes. I hadn’t told him yet that I lost the baby. I hadn’t had the heart to tell almost anyone except those who were there that I had lost the baby. “I… I need to tell you something…”

“You don’t sound happy, Kinder…” Alfred’s voice dropped to the most serious tone. “I’m coming over.” He hung up before I could argue.

“Mathew, America is on his way over.” I sat at the table and looked at Canada in his boxers and apron.

“I don’t want to burn your flap jacks…” He flipped the flap jack. “I’ll get dressed once I get these two out.”

He didn’t have the time. The door burst open and America came through the door. “What’s wrong?” he was sweaty and still in running shorts.

“Did you run here?” Canada asked as he set down the flap jacks.

“Yes.” He sat beside me and grabbed my hand. “Tell me what’s wrong, Kinder.”

Mathew grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and threw him up. He pushed him back towards the wall. “Just because you’re my brother doesn’t mean you can just bust in here and interrogate my girlfriend like that! You need to calm down, Alfred.”

I grabbed Mathew’s hand. “So do you, maple leaf.”

Canada sat down in his seat beside me and stared at his plain flap jacks for a moment. “I forgot the syrup.”

“Alfred, I’m sorry. His mood swings have been as bad as mine since we… we lost… Alfred, we lost the baby.” I broke down in tears again.

“Oh God…” Alfred stared. “I’m so sorry…”

I couldn’t respond through the tears. I covered my face and sobbed over my flap jacks. I felt a set of arms wrap around me and recognized the sweet natural sent of Mathew over the greasy scent of America. I could smell the chocolate as he poured it over the flap jacks and it got warm. I slowed my crying and sat still with Canada’s arms still around me. “L- let’s eat now…”

Mathew let me go and sat in his seat beside me. He grabbed my hand and began eating.

I wasn’t sure what had caused this in Canada because it wasn’t as though it was actually his child. I figured it may have just been for me while I was pregnant but now it was obvious that he actually had very much wanted to help me raise up the little boy. I began eating too, still holding his hand.

“I’m going to go,” America said in a solemn voice. “I’ll make sure they close down the party a little early around the border so that you can rest.” There was a pause before he spoke again. “I really am sorry, bro. good luck.”