Art of Serendipity

32

"Oh, ano na nga?" pagbabalik ko sa topic namin kanina.

Bahagya niyang sinilip ang mukha ko kaya humarap ako lalo sa kaniya. This time, he's just observing me. Hindi ko alam kung paanong alam ko na sinusuri niya ako gayong sa mata ko lang siya nakatingin.

My eyes also narrowed when I realized something. He looks familiar. I don't know. Napanaginipan ko na ba siya? Hindi ko maalala. Malabo masyado. I still have to explore the very end of my brain to remember that. Ano 'yon?

"You like travelling, right?" tanong niya na nakapagputol sa pag-alala ko sa ibang bagay na sobrang labo.

I nodded. "Why?"

"Why not become a Flight Attendant? It suits you. This isn't a joke time anymore. Bagay sa 'yo maging Flight Attendant. Tsaka it will benefit you, may kita ka na, magagawa mo pa ang gusto mo. I can also see that you have a pleasing personality although, you're not that confident but...natutunan naman iyon. Mabuti nga at nawala na 'yung bigat sa presensiya mo, e. You are courageous enough to fulfill that one. Well, this is just my opinion. Ikaw pa rin ang bahala sa pangarap mo," mahabang paliwanag niya.

My eyes soften because of that opinion of him. I can see that it was genuine. He didn't say that for the sake of having to say. Parang kanina ako lang nag-iisip niyan habang nasa flight ah?

"You also think that I can be one? Naisip ko na rin kasi iyan kanina but I set aside that thought kasi...I don't know. Kasi hindi ko kailangan?"

"You can be whatever you dream. I'm just here by the way. I'll support you." He gives me a smile of assurance.

"Really?" I asked, a bit hopeful. "I want...that. I want to be a flight attendant. Gusto ko siyang gawing pangarap. Ayaw kong hanggang gusto lang. From now on, papangarapin ko na."

"Then achieve it. Claim it. Nandito lang ako. I will never leave your side while achieving that," he said sensually but I don't know if it's just me but I saw sorrow in his eyes while saying the last sentence.

"Uh...Naiintindihan mo ba yung perception ko sa 'gusto'?"

He nodded slowly. "I think so. Why?"

"What if..." I bit my lower lip and released it to continue. "What if I like someone? Hanggang gusto ko na lang ba siya?"

His jaw clenched and tilt his head to the side, meeting my curious gaze. "You like...someone?"

I blinked twice. Hindi iyon ang inaasahan kong tatanungin niya. Bakit iyon pa ang napansin niya? I think I said that as a 'what if'.

I avoided his gaze because boy, what am I going to answer? Pa'no kung tanungin niya kung sino? Aamin na ba ako? I'm scared... that he might just laugh at me. Thinking that I fall for him, na wala akong ipinagkaiba sa mga nahulog na sa kaniyang mga babae.

I don't have to tell him by the way.

"I think that's not my concern. Just a 'what if'," I answered.

Hindi na niya sinagot ang tanong ko dahil dumating ang pagkain namin. While eating, my mind is flying somewhere. Thinking about being a flight attendant...thinking about my dream.

My dream. Finally. I have one. Ang dami ko nang naiisip na gawin para matupad iyon. I'm an hotel management student and it somehow close to hospitality which really need for a flight attendant. Maybe I can start watching flight attendant vlogs now to know more about the way they work, huh?

And if ever na matupad iyon. I'm planning to apply in Sky Air. That's a good airline company. Doon ako palagi nagbu-book ng flight because their services are good. Aside from Cebu Pacific and Philippine Airlines.

I smiled at the thought. Bumabaha na sa plano ang utak ko. Ganito rin pala feeling ng may pangarap. Now I understand why so many people persevere for what they call dreams.

"What are you thinking?" Bigla siyang nagtanong at mukhang kanina pa niya ako pinagmamasdan dahil pagkatingin ko sa pagkain niya ay ubos na ito.

Hindi pa man din ako nakasagot ay dinadagdagan niya na ang sinasabi niya. "Ah, you're thinking about someone you like that's why you're smiling, huh?"

Napa-awang ang labi ko dahil doon. I thought he already let go of that idea. Kanina niya pa ba iniisip iyon? Well, might as well spill the tea.

"What if I am?" I asked, teasingly.

His brows knitted. "Uh-huh? Can you describe him?"

I smirked. "Ayaw ko nga, agawan mo pa ako e. Gwapo pa naman iyon."

Lalong kumunot ang noo niya. "Mas gwapo pa kaysa sa 'kin?"

I looked unbelievably to him. "Why are you comparing yourself to him?"

"I'm just checking if he's good for you. Gwapo? Nah, don't just settle with his serving looks. Mabait ba o mas mabait ako? Matalino ba? Well, I'm not that smart but I'm blessed with talent. Siguraduhin mo lang na marespeto 'yan. That's what matters the most..." His arms crossed over his chest. "But I'm marespeto too."

He. Is. Really... comparing himself to... himself? What the actual hell, Velez? Anong nangyayari sa'yo?

Humalakhak ako na lalong ikina-inis niya. Hindi ko mapigilan. Kasabay ng mabilis na t***k ng puso ko ay ang paghalakhak ko. Damn, Velez! You're making me crazy!

"Don't compare yourself, Levi. Parehas lang kayo," I said in between my laughs.

"Nope, I'm not. I'm unique. Don't say that we're the same because obviously, not," he said annoyingly. Kung makapagsalita naman 'tong lalaki 'to, parang kilala niya kung sino ang gusto ko e.

Lalo akong natawa pero kalaunan ay kumalma ako. "You're better than him, okay? Way more, more better and handsome."

Sinabi ko ang tingin kong kanina niya pa gustong marinig pero hindi man lang nagbago ang ekspresyon niya. Lalo pang naging mariin ang titig niya sa akin.

"Then why do you like him and not me?"

My smile faded. I got stunned by his question. Gusto niyang...magkagusto ako sa kaniya? He want that?

Mukhang na-realize niya rin ang tanong niya kaya bigla siyang tumayo at mabilisang inaayos ang pinagkainan namin.

"It's already late. You must rest so that we can roam around Paris early tomorrow..." he said in finality.

He glanced at me. Nanatiling puno ng pagtataka at gulat ang mukha ko. Umiling siya at pumunta sa pintuan, sign of his dismissal for this day but before he could close the door, he looked at me and said the words that are very usual but it sends millions of voltage to my pounding heart.

"Have a good night sleep, Aya," after that, he closed the door, leaving me nowhere to be found.

Why do you like him and not me?

This is just a simple question but it created so many unknown ideas and feelings. Ano ibig sabihin niya roon? Ano 'yon?

Kung alam niya lang ang mga sinasabi niya, baka magulantang ang mundo niya. Bakit ko daw siya gusto? I don't know. Kailangan ba may rason?

Dahil sa sobrang pagod ay nakatulog ako agad pero nagising rin naman sa tamang oras. We both set aside our last conversation when he picked me up. Tahimik kami sa elevator hanggang pababa. How to spell our atmosphere right now?

A-w-k-w-a-r-d.

But I don't want this kind of atmosphere. Nang makalabas sa Hotel ay napangiti agad ako. Well today, I'm wearing a gray turtle neck dress and a jacket. Nag-beanie rin ako para paris feels talaga. Levi is wearing his denim button-down shirt and jeans. Wala akong ibang dala sa bulsa ko kundi phone and euros. May nakasabit na camera sa leeg ko so I feel a bit comfy.

Parisians call Paris as the City of Lights and Love. Hindi na nakakapagtaka iyon sa mga nag-gagandahang mga establishments dito. Paris is way more fashionable than Manila. Dito rin madalas nangagaling ang ibang fashion trends.

Agad kong tiningala ang kataasan ng Eiffel Tower. I went here just three times but I'm still mesmerized by the beauty of this tower. Itinapat ko ang Camera ko roon at pinicturan.

"Woah," I said in awe. The sunrise is reflecting the beauty of the Tower.

Nilingon ko si Levi at nakitang nakatingala na rin siya sa Tower. The light of the shining sun is reflecting to his eyes. I don't know what's gotten in me but I pointed the camera lens at him and immediately clicked. Isang picture pa sana kaso ibinaba na niya ang tingin sa akin...but his stare can't stop me from capturing my moment with him. Walang pasabi ko siyang hinila at itinalikod sa Eiffel Tower.

I smiled walked backwards. I angled my camera. Nang makuha ang tamang anggulo ay p-in-icture-an ko siya kaso hindi siya nakangiti. Nanatili ang seryoso niyang tingin sa akin. Two shots of him then I stopped.

"C'mmon! Smile!" I scolded him.

Lalo siyang sumimangot kaya natatawa akong pumunta sa harap niya. I tiptoed and stretched his grumpy face to create a smile but It didn't work. Lalong hindi ako naging matagumpay nang hawakan ng dalawang kamay niya ang magkabilang banda ng baywang ko, to keep my balance. Malaya kong natitigan ang mukha niya dahil halos wala ng distansiya ang natitira sa pagitan namin.

"No need to force my smile. You already make me happy the way no one else can," he whispered, just enough for the both of us to hear. Just enough for me to realize things. Just enough for me to stop being idiot.

I am now convinced that this isn't just a simple gesture. I don't want to play innocent and numb anymore. Ngayon, gusto kong maniwala kay Ate Noreen at Daddy. Gusto kong paniwalaan ang mga sinasabi at ipinapahiwatig nila. Wala na akong pakialam kung magbago ang turingan namin.

"Lev..." I swallowed hard. "Do you like... me?"

Finally. I had the courage to ask that.

He didn't speak, nanatili ang titig niya na para bang isa ako sa pinaka-iingatan at pinakamamahal niyang artwork. Lalo akong kinabahan. Kung hindi niya ako gusto...ako! Ako ang aamin ngayon!

"Again, Velez. Do you like me? Am I the HM student you were talking about?"

"D*mn it!" he muttered. "I know I can't escape anymore."

"That's not the answer to my question... Gusto mo ba ako?" ulit ko sa tanong na kanina pa bumabagabag sa akin.

His stare went down to my lips, then, back to my eyes. Nagpakawala siya ng hangin bago ako hinapit papalapit pa sa kaniya, na para bang kulang na kulang ang distansiya namin kanina.

"Yes, Aya..." he whispered huskily. "I like you. I'm still falling deeper and deeper for you. Walang... kawala."

~~~