Art of Serendipity

30

When I went up to my room, I went straight to the mirror. I touched both my cheeks and squeezed it. Kanina pa kasi naka-ngiti sa elavator, mabuti na lang at wala akong kasabay kundi ay nakakahiyang magpigil ng ngiti.

"Bakit ka ba kasi nakangiti?!" Inis kong sabi sa sarili ko.

But my dumb mind showed Levi's face in every reaction. I shook my head to get rid of that imagination. What the hell?

"Nababaliw ka na, Ayannah."

I sighed. Bakit nga ba kasi ganito ako? Bakit ba kasi sa tuwing nariyan siya, halo-halo yung kaba, tuwa at pagkabog ng malakas ng dibdib ko? I want to freaking know why am I like this? Gusto ko ring masolusyunan 'tong problemang 'to.

"Bakit ka kasi ganiyan ha? Alam kong halos first time mo magkaroon ng kaibigan but...the hell? Ganoon ba dapat yung feeling mo sa kaibigan mo? No, right? Kasi dapat ganiyan ka rin kay Alastrid because he's your friend, too! E, hindi. Kay Levi ka lang ganiyan," sermon ko sa sarili ko.

Kapag 'tong salamin, sumagot. Tatakbo talaga ako.

E, kasi naman! I shouldn't be like this unless I like him!

I gulped hard because of the thought. A realization hit me. Hindi ba't ganito rin yung sa mga nababasa ko sa mga romantic novels? But...this isn't a novel! This is my reality!

"Do I like him?" I asked myself.

I shook my head. No, this can't be. I'm just idolizing him because of his talent and looks. That's all.

[Your problem will only get worse if you will continue denying that you don't like him, Aya] This time, Ate Noreen is the one who is preaching me.

Makikipagkita ako ngayon kay Dad sa Magnifique. I'm here in the car now. Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit sa Magnifique pa siya makikipagkita e pwede namang sa hotel na lang. Linggo na rin ang lumilipas nang sumagi sa isip ko ang pagkagusto kay Levi.

And my aunt is right. Parati kong pinproblema iyon dahil palagi ko ring itinatanggi. Nagkuwento na ako kay Ate Noreen at nanghingi ng advice on how I'll get rid of this feeling pero ang bwisit kong auntie, ibang advice ang binibigay niya.

[You should tell him your feelings towards him. Halata namang gusto ka rin niya] she added.

"No way! Nakakahiya and this damn feelings isn't sure yet. Hindi niya rin ako gusto, Ate. May iba siyang gusto. He...told me that," I whispered the last words.

[Ah, ganon? Even so, atleast try to tell him! Bahala ka, you'll lose the chance. Magiging member ka ng group ko.]

"Ano na namang group 'yan, Ate?" I said annoyingly, slowly massaging my temple. Pakana talaga nitong Tita ko e 'no.

[Hopia group! Association of hopeless romantics] she said proudly, then, laughed.

"What a freaking group," I whispered and I heard her devilish laugh.

Hell, tama bang sa kaniya ako nanghingi ng advice? Maling-mali! Wrong move!

[H'wag ka kasi matakot sumubok. Vulnerability can bring you happiness, too! If he will reject you, kawalan niya na 'yon. And if you will keep this to yourself forever, hindi ka makaka-move-on niyan! Bahala ka. Pahirapan mo sarili mo kung gusto mo.]

Iyan na lang ba talaga ang solusyon? Wala nang iba? Baka naman pwede ngang hindi na lang magsabi? Mas madali 'yon kaysa masaktan diba?

"Ah, ayo'ko na!" reklamo ko sa kaniya. Malapit na rin kami sa Magnifique.

Her devilish laugh became so defined now. [My gosh, Aya. Ka-frustrate ba? Sabi ko naman kasi sa'yo kayo na lang! Kulit mo rin kasi, e! I can sense that he likes you too even if I didn't interact with him. I'm sure of that.]

"How sure are you e ikaw na nga nagsabi na hindi pa kayo nakakapag-interact?"

[How will you explain the care he's giving to you? How will you explain how protective he is to you? Don't tell me that 'because I'm his friend' card. Walang kaibigan na tititig sa'yo na parang ikaw lang mundo niya. Lay it on the rock! May gusto siya sa'yo.]

I hung up the call after that roller-coaster conversation with Ate. Mas lumaki pa ata problema ko. Oo na, gusto ko nga siya! I like him but that doesn't mean that I want to have a relationship with him. Nagustuhan ko siya dahil mabuti siyang kaibigan. I don't want to change that if ever he'll refuse to acknowledge my feelings towards him. Siya na nga lang ang kaibigan ko, e.

Liking someone is really unpredictable and inevitable, huh?

"Daddy," I kissed my Dad's cheeks.

"How are you, my princess?" my dad asked sweetly.

"I'm fine...po," I suddenly remembered my problem. Hindi ko na rin siguro kailangan sabihin pa iyon kay Daddy.

"By the way, I invited someone to join us here."

"Po? Sino po?" My eyes narrowed. Kaya naman pala rito nag-aya si Daddy dahil may imi-meet siya. Business partner ba? Bakit kasama pa ako?

"Nandyan na siya," he informed as he raised his hands to reach someone's attention.

Napalingon rin ako at kung minamalas ka nga naman. Levi with his grey v-neck shirt and jeans are walking towards us. Even with that distance, kinakabahan na agad ako. Lintik na 'yan. Bakit?

"Good afternoon, Sir. I'm sorry, I'm late," he said formally to my father.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Velez. Have a seat," my dad complied. Agad namang umupo ang pintor sa gilid namin. The table is round so I'm really seeing him. Pinagigitnaan namin siya ni Daddy.

I sipped on my water, not wanting to talk. I feel that I'm going to be drown anytime soon with his presence. Baka naman, I just admitted that I like him and now, he's here? Ako na ba pinaka-malas na tao ngayon?

Muntik ko ng maibuga ang iniinom ko nang malipat ang tingin niya sa akin. Naiiwas ko ang tingin ko at bahagyang na-conscious. Things really changed, kasabay nitong nararamdaman kong 'to. I hate this.

"Good afternoon, Aya. I'm sorry, I didn't call you for this past few days. Laia is just so naughty, she'd never let me use phone," he explained.

I cleared my throat and faced him with a calm face. Act casual, Aya.

"It's okay. Your sister missed you, that's normal. Hindi ko rin naman napansin na hindi ka pala tumawag, I was busy too."

Wow, Aya! I praise your acting skills!

He blinked twice and pouted. Nawala lang nang tumikhim si Daddy. I almost forgot that my dad is here!

"Let's eat first," ani ni Dad sa mababang boses. He looked at me with curious eyes and I just nodded and smiled.

Kinabahan naman ako. Daddy is always glancing at me with suspicious but I'm always giving back that look. Nagtatanong kung bakit nandito si Levi? Sa pagkaka-alam ko, last na usapan namin about kay Levi is he thought that Levi is a bad influence. Ano't narito siya at kasama kami?

"How's your Dad, Levi? I haven't seen him for a quite while now, huh," Dad started the conversation.

"He's a bit busy but I'll tell him that you asked me about him po, Sir," sagot ng kausap.

"He's very hands-on. Just send my regards to him and also, please drop the formality, Hijo. Just call me Tito, I won't mind."

"Okay, Tito," madaling natawag ni Levi si Dad sa kung anong gusto nito.

Napalobo ako ng pisngi sa usapan nila. Hindi pa rin talaga nasasagot ang tanong ko kung bakit nandito itong lalaking 'to. Also, this is actually the first time that Daddy met with my friend. Sana lang ay matuwa siya na may kaibigan na ako.

"Anyway. I invited you because I want to give my gratitude formally. Thank you for taking care of my princess when she didn't know where to go. I am very thankful that my daughter have you. Naikwento rin sa akin ni Luzon na palagi ka nga raw kasama ng anak ko and you're always in the house. Wala kasi ako madalas sa bahay kaya hindi tayo nagkikita but thank you...very much." Daddy smiled sensually. So that's the reason? Akala ko kung ano na, magpapasalamat lang pala.

"Walang anuman po, Tito. I'll surely do that even if you didn't tell me."

Napatingin naman ako kay Levi. Paano akong hindi magkakagusto sa 'yo kung ganiyan ka ka-alaga sa akin? You're always making me feel the safety with your presence but at the same time, I could feel the danger. The danger and fear of liking you.

Natapos ang lunch na iyon na hindi ako nagsasalita. Wala rin naman akong sasabihin dahil nag-uusap sila ni Daddy about business. Sa kotse na ako ni Daddy sumabay umuwi at kinakabahan ako dahil nagsisimula ng magsalita si Daddy about kay Levi.

"That Velez is nice and gentle. I'm glad you met him."

"Uh, yes, Dad. Sa VillU po, although, he's a fine arts student, we're always seeing each other po..." I answered in uncertain tone. Ayaw kong malaman niya kung paano kami nagkakilala. What am I going to say? Na kinuha niya yung wallet and I.D. ko then voila, we're friends now. Labo.

"I like him as a man," Dad commented.

Me too, Dad. Sayang, hindi ako ang gusto no'n,

"Ah..." I just chuckled. I don't know what to answer.

"Does he have a girlfriend or nililigawan?"

"Wala po...yata." Liligawan pa lang ata niya yung ka-course ko.

"Ikaw?"

My eyes widened. "A-anong ako po?"

"Don't you like him?" he asked straightly.

Wait. I didn't prepare for this.

"Uh..." I scratched the bridge of my nose. Anong sasabihin ko? I don't want to lie, especially to my Dad.

"Uh? Yes, Dad, I like him," Dad mocked while answering his question instead of me.

"Hala, Daddy..." nahihiya kong ani. Damn! Hindi ko maitanggi!

Daddy laughed so manly. "Gusto ko ang lalaking iyon para sa 'yo, Aya."

"Hindi naman po ako ang gusto no'n. May ibang gusto siya. Ka-course ko pa po ata," I answered, naiinis. Wala na. There's no reason for me to hide it.

He laughed again. "Sure ka hindi ikaw 'yon?"

"He'll never like me po. Wala siyang sinabi na ako iyon. What now, Dad?" My brows rose up pero natatawa na rin ako kay Dad.

"Baka nakakalimutan mo, I'm a man, too. I know how a man moves."

"What are you trying to say, Dad?"

Sumeryoso ang Daddy ko bigla. Kanina pa kami nakarating sa parking nitong Hotel namin pero hindi pa kami lumalabas.

"Hmm, wala naman. I don't want to ruin someone's strategy by the way."

At kaninong diskarte naman ang ayaw niyang masira?

"But as you father, I want you to claim your happiness. Do what makes you happy, my princess. I know this past years, you've been struggling to deal with your Tita Donna. Now, I want you to find someone that will help you," he added.

"You're trying to say is...What, Dad?" I asked even if I know what is the answer.

"I'm not forbidding you to have a boyfriend. Mas gusto ko nga iyon but you know your limits. You're smart. Choose a man who will love you endlessly, moreover, choose a man who will help you with your problems. H'wag puro pagmamahal." He smiled for assurance.

I smiled back.

~~~