FREEING THE MIND
1038 Words
EVELYN
The curious look in Arthur’s stormy eyes had me spinning around so fast I nearly tripped over my own feet.
Before I could get to him, Toby called out cheerfully, “Mommy, I was looking for you!”
My heart lurched into my throat.
My steps faltered for the briefest second before I forced myself to keep moving. I reached him quickly, taking his hand just as his gaze drifted past me toward Arthur.
I turned to Jane, my receptionist.
“Make sure he leaves.”
Then I hurried toward my office, Toby practically jogging beside me to keep up with my pace.
We slipped into the elevator moments later. As soon as the doors closed, I leaned against the wall and released a shaky breath.
“Mommy?”
“Yes, Tobs?”
“He looks like me.”
I froze.
My throat went completely dry.
“W-What?”
“That man.” Toby shifted on his feet. “He looks like me. But he has beards… and hairy arms.”
I looked down at him.
He was fidgeting again, unable to stay still for more than a few seconds. Toby always needed something to do, something to occupy himself.
A lot like Arthur.
Although with Arthur, that something had always been work.
I had already decided to ignore the question completely when Toby spoke again.
“Do you think he looks like me, Mommy?”
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Yes. Yes, I do.
I look at you every day and see your father staring back at me. It’s one of the reasons forgetting him has been so impossible. But you can’t know about him… None of this was ever supposed to happen. The thought settled heavily in my chest.
When I finally opened my eyes, I forced out a smile.
“Actually? No. I think it’s just because…”
I glanced down at his outfit.
“I think it’s because you’re both wearing the same color.”
Toby pinched the fabric of his shirt between his fingers and examined it seriously.
“Oh.”
A beat passed.
“I guess that’s why.”
“Yes,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat.
When we reached my office, Toby climbed onto the couch while I settled behind my desk and attempted to finish my work.
He didn’t have school today.
Earlier that morning, he’d cried so hard when I suggested staying home with his nanny that I’d eventually given in and brought him with me.
Maybe I should have let him stay home after all.
I chewed absentmindedly on a fingernail while staring at the paperwork in front of me, my thoughts running in circles.
Would Arthur put the pieces together? How long would it take? Every vibration from my phone made my stomach twist.
After my fifth failed attempt to focus, I slammed my pen onto the desk.
The sharp sound made Toby jolt awake on the couch. Guilt hit me instantly. His eyes were red-rimmed, he’d been trying to sleep.
I rubbed my temple and sighed.
“I’m sorry, my love. We should go home now. Are you ready?”
I almost laughed at how fast he nodded. His toys were at home. His iPad had died hours ago, and we’d forgotten the charger.
The poor boy was bored out of his mind.
I packed up the last of my things, grabbed my purse and phones, then headed out with Toby’s small hand tucked securely in mine.
As we walked past the reception desk, a wave of stupid nostalgia washed over me. Maybe I was imagining it. Maybe I was losing my mind.
But it felt like Arthur’s cologne still lingered in the lobby hours after he’d left.
By the time we were settled in the backseat of the car, my phone finally buzzed with a text from him.
BROKE BUSINESS GUY: Don’t lie to me. Is he mine?
I scoffed. This man would never learn. Making requests again, like the audacious bastard he was. Without replying, I locked my phone and tossed it aside.
Several more messages came through before we reached home. I didn’t open a single one, but that didn’t stop the memories from finding me.
The more I thought about Arthur insisting he wanted to be part of Toby’s life, the harder it became to breathe.
I would never allow it. Never. But what if one day Toby wanted exactly that? What would I do then?
The thought followed me all evening.
Later that night, after tucking Toby into bed—my bed, because he had once again refused to sleep in his own room—I stood in front of my mirror and stared at my reflection.
My lips trembled. I needed a drink, maybe two.
I needed loud music and a crowded room and enough noise to drown out my thoughts. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath.
Just one hour. One hour without Arthur Hayes living rent-free inside my head.
With that decision made, I walked to my closet and began searching through my clothes.
I didn’t really need to find anything too raunchy. I wasn’t going to the club to entertain men. I was going there for the vibes, and the vibes alone.
I finally settled on a cute, short sundress. I twirled around with the dress plastered to my front, smiling at myself in the mirror.
Picking my phone off the table, I called Lionel, my close friend for three years now. He was a gay, party animal. The best person to call when you needed a night like this.
“Hey gorgeous!” He answered on the first ring, sounding a bit muffled with the amount of loud music I heard around him. “What’s happening? Are you good?”
“Hey Lee. I’m good. Where are you right now? I wanna come.”
He gasped, then asked in a disbelieving tone, “Are you shitting me?”
I rolled my eyes.
“I’m not. Stop being so dramatic.”
He squeaked in excitement for the next few seconds, then responded, “I’ll text you the address right away. Pull up, queen!”
I laughed. “On my way.”
- Writer
