DARK DAYS WITHOUT YOU

CHAPTER 2: Grief

Days passed by, everything didn't went as I was expecting. There's nothing left on my Dad's savings. I don't know what to do. I tried to contact my relatives but no one is answering my calls. Dad gets weaker and weaker everyday but he is still fighting for his life and also for me.

I can't go to my class coz I need to be with my father, all I can do is to answer my modules in the hospital then my teacher just came by to get all my activities to be sure that I can comply. My classmates help me throughout the school year.

Staring by the window of my Dad's room I saw the beautiful sunset, it gives me much hope and courage that I can went through all this problem I am facing right now.

Sunday morning I woke up early, I saw Dad smiling at me, he's not sick anymore. He can walk now without my support. He even cook food for me. All I know is that we're just in the hospital yesterday, then now... we're at our home already. Living just like before and I miss this moment so much. We ate our breakfast together, he even prepared my things for school. While waiting for the school bus he hugged me tight like there's no tomorrow, then he said goodbye. I saw tears flowing from his eyes, I'm about to ask him what is really happening when suddenly loud voices enters mind, I saw blinding lights and the next thing that happened is an inescapable nightmare.

Nurses and doctors went running inside my father's room. It takes time before everything sinks in to me. I saw clearly with my two eyes how they tried so hard to save my father's life but it isn't enough. Maybe, life is meant to be this painful and unfair. Before his last breathe he just looked at me and hold my hand with his last words, " be strong, I'm just here to guide you". These words really tear up my heart and soul into pieces. All I can feel is unending sorrow and pain.

Since day one, it's all about me and my Dad. Now, everything is just all about me. The day has come, I need to take him to his final destination, I need to release him for now and hoping that we will see each other again after life. Not everyday is a happy day, you need to experience grief to appreciate joy. The most sad memories are those moments that you're genuinely happy. Maybe, I'm meant to be alone this soon, not prepared and still dependent to my Dad. I don't know what to do now, he's gone and I cannot take him back no matter how I wish for it every second of my life. They say time heals but for me I don't know how long will it takes or if I will be able to heal in this tragic times of mine.