DARK DAYS WITHOUT YOU

CHAPTER 6: Better Days

Little by little, day by day... I continue to undergo the process of healing. As I planned, I will start writing my story on the book that Dad gave me. I will also be as active as before in school. Time flies so fast, here I am again... waking up early and wondering what could be this day will brought to me.

Before going to school and going back to the way I used to be; I visit Dad in the cemetery. I really need to accept everything, I need to let go him and let go this painful feeling because the reality is... I can't take him back to life again no matter how hard I try. Continuing my life is the best thing to do, that's all he wanted for me. Still, it is hard for me to left him there being alone, but, as I promised I'm going to make my life meaningful from now on. I went early to school, while listening to music, the beautiful sky got my attention. From that moment, I got an inspiration to start writing the content for the book. I decided to made a sequel of the story that Dad has started.

For the first chapter, High Above the Sky. Maybe, you're wondering what is it all about. It's about Dad, he's now above... watching me down here. Everytime I look up in the sky, it always reminds me of him.

Start of the first subject. My friends are surprised that I came early. They know that I'm suffering through a lot but they didn't expect I can be this normal outside though I'm still hurting inside. Gladly, I passed the unexpected exam, I got the highest score. I'm aiming for the top position in our class since few months from now, graduation is waving. Tough year for me, but I'll take all of this as a challenge. Hopefully, at the end, all my hard works will be paid off.

Today was a very productive day, I was able to continue new chapters of the book while focusing on my academic goals. I'm really tired but it is all worth it. I'm now lying at my bed staring at the ceiling. I remembered, I need to cook for my dinner. Suddenly, it rain so hard, nothing can be heard except for the deafening sound of raindrops. Moments like this really captures me, I felt comfortable at the same time emotional feelings are starting to burst out.

I didn't notice that I'd slept for almost 3 hours, I'm really hungry. No one will cook for me so I need to do it on my own. It's still raining, what a very cold night. I'm craving for soup. Again, I miss my dad cooking for me. I really can't forget but I'm moving on. While sipping the hot soup... I realized that it's been a long time since I watch television shows. I need to entertain myself sometimes. I miss so many episodes with my Dad's favorite show. It's getting late already and I am sleepy again. Music can make me fall asleep faster, it's like my personal therapy.

Waking up early in the morning, doing my everyday routine. Going to school and now I'm continuing the chapter two of the sequel that I made. It's about cold nights, as you can imagine it is a very emotional chapter. Rain is still pouring, I can feel a really cool breeze. I'm about to visit Dad but it seems like the rain won't stop. I just stay in the nearby cafe restaurant and continue writing. This past days, I loved to be alone. My friends didn't bother to annoy me, they want to give me space for the meantime until I felt okay already, but, they are always there whenever I need them, really true friends.

In the middle of writing, someone sit beside me... an old lady. She started to approach me and talk to me as if I'm not a stranger to her. As the conversation continues she shared about her life without husband, life of being alone. When she opened up about this topic I suddenly realized we almost have the same situation right now. I felt that I am not alone, I'm not the only one full of sorrow and pain in this world.

The rain already stopped. I need to go home already when I saw my friend walking at the sidewalk and crying. I chose to stay with her for awhile. I waited until she shared her problem with me. Few moments later, she wiped her tears and talk about what she's going through.

Her mom and dad are separated. She's staying with her grandma. All this time she didn't know that her parents aren't happy together. They use to fake their actions in front of their daughter. Until one day, they can't bare to be together anymore and choose to separate ways. Camila is so devastated, she don't know what to do, just like me she's in the process of accepting everything that is happening in her life right now.

Finally I arrived at our house. It's been a really long day. I used to comfort two different people with different situations, situations that are almost the same as mine, It is very relatable.I didn't expect that I am able to comfort a completely stranger and my happy go lucky very close friend . This day is very meaningful. So many lessons and again lot of realizations. I'm already sleepy, unexpected things happened because of these I'll end this day with a smile.

New day, new start. It feels lighter today, maybe because, I'm healing. What a beautiful day to start writing the chapter three of my book, " Lighter Days". I'm very inspired today, I will visit Dad in the cemetery since I wasn't able to do it yesterday. He'll miss me if I can't come today. It's unusual, since that day in the hospital... I used to smile often but now, I can already smile and laugh as if there's no pain inside my heart anymore.

Months passed, graduation day is getting closer. I was able to finish ten chapters of my book, and it is all about my daily experiences on the past months. College life here I come. I'm so excited, I was able to fulfill what my Dad wants for me to achieve but this is just the start. I'm also aiming for my college diploma and of course I really want to finish writing the book.

It seems like the world is smiling to me day by day. I went to my dad's grave. Group of birds are flying around the tree near me as if they are happy to see me. Out of nowhere I just thought it's my father's way of saying congratulations to me. I really miss him. So many things happened and so many changes that I didn't expect came into my life.

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Today is the day I've been waiting for, my Senior Highschool diploma is waiting for me. I didn't expect that I can make it through despite the challenges and difficulties I experienced. With flying colors I was able to finish my last year in Senior High, I got the top 2 place in our section, unexpected right? I'm very happy though my Dad isn't here to attend my graduation day. All this achievements is all for my beloved father who raised me well, full of love. I went alone to the venue, there's a bit sadness because all my batch mates are with their loved ones, something that I didn't experience in this kind of important events in my life.

Gladly, my adviser offers to be my guardian today. She's like a mother figure to me, she knows everything that happened to me, she always tried to lighten up my mood everytime we're together.

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After the ceremony I go to see my Dad. I'm excited to show my awards to him. I am very sure he will be so proud of me.

Calm weather, bright sky, a very calm mood. I put down my medal and certificates in my Daddy's grave. Tears showed up again but, this time it's tears of joy. I finally made it, one of his wish is finally granted. I know he's watching me from above. I'm always thankful, I know he guide me along the way.

Before going home I stopped at same cafe restaurant where I met the old woman to treat myself and celebrate my achievement. It's time to write the eleventh chapter .

This chapter is focused about today's very important event of my life. I'm so happy to share my experiences in this chapter. I am genuinely happy, this is one of the best feeling ever. Though this day is about to end, atleast, every moment is now part of my beautiful memories plus... it was stated in my book. Everytime I'll read this, I will be able to reminisce these memories of mine.

It's time to prepare for my college entrance exam. I'm planning to apply in three famous state universities in our place and I'm also aiming to get full scholarship and it will only happened if I got ninety percent marked in the exam. Bachelor of Arts in Creative Writing is the course I preferred to. It's the time to pursue what I really want in life and follow my dreams. Sooner or later I can achieve it, I can do it! Fighting!

Review here, review there, take notes, trying to familiarize informations that might appear on the examination. I really want to pass, it's for my dream and my future. Hours later, I can't absorb anything... I need to take a rest. I realized I'm still stock in chapter eleven, it's time to continue chapter 12 of the book.

12th Chapter is all about chasing dreams, closer to make everything a reality. Full of motivation, and encouraging words. This is how I express myself through writing. It is still unbelievable that I was able to overcome those past nightmares. Living in the past made me devastated but now, I'm living in every moment of my life, discovering the unlocked pieces of my journey.

In the middle of writing, I didn't noticed that I'd slept. It's already evening, I'm hungry. Walking down the stairs, I saw a man standing in the kitchen. I'm so scared I don't know what to do. Luckily, I found a wooden stick inside my room, I will use it for defense if ever the situation gets worst. I walk slowly into the kitchen while holding the stick, I'm ready to attack him anytime. There's only a dim light down there powered by solar panel. With full of courage I faced him...

few moments later

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I'm so shocked of what I saw. I can't move for few minutes. I am out of words. There is nothing running inside my mind except for the fact that I'm an over thinker. Maybe you're curious of what happened.

So this is what happened, when I confronted the man that I saw, I'm so shocked because there is no one in the kitchen except for the towel that I put in top of the refrigerator making a man like shadow. Maybe this is just the effect of too much coffee and hunger. It's time to cook for dinner, I really need to eat.

I'm craving for "adobong manok", a Filipino cuisine, my favorite. Watching television while enjoying my food is the best thing today. I still do not get over that illusionary man. What a funny moment, so glad no one is here aside from me to witness that humiliating moment. Playing my favorite songs until I fell asleep, that's how may day ends.