BETA's LOVER

Chapter- Nineteen

ALISTAIR

My world crumbles in an instant. Mackenzie's words hit me like a physical blow, each one sinking deeper than the last.

"I can't do this. I'm sorry, but you are not what I need. We were never meant to be."

The weight of them slams into me, and for a moment, I can't breathe. I feel something inside me snap, like a thread pulled too tight finally breaking. My chest tightens, empties out, and all I can do is stare at her—this woman I thought was everything to me, my mate. She's walking away, pulling herself farther from me, and I can't stop her. I press my hand to my chest, as if holding myself together will fix it, but the emptiness only deepens. My body shakes with the force of the pain, but it's not just physical—it's a kind of devastation that tears through me, hollowing me out, the darkness creeping in, suffocating.

When she pulls her hand from mine, it's like the last thread between us snaps. I stagger forward, instinctively reaching for her, but my legs betray me. I grab the chair to steady myself, watching her walk away, her figure fading into the distance. I can't move. I can't do anything but sit there, helpless, the space between us widening with every step she takes. The bond is still there, tugging at me, but it feels strained, distant.

Why is she leaving? I thought we were meant to be together.

She's my mate. This is supposed to be simple. She should feel what I feel, know that we're bound in a way nothing could break. But she doesn't.

I wonder if I pushed her too hard. Maybe I wasn't enough for her to stay. She's human, and this life—my life—was never something she asked for. I can see how hard it is for her.

But I never asked for this either.

My wolf howls inside me, a deep ache rising in my chest. It's raw, tortured. It wants her. It wants to run to her, claim her, make her see that this—us—is worth fighting for. But there's nothing I can do. I'm struggling to hold onto my own anger, let alone everything else. Her scent still clings to the air, torturing me, pushing me closer to the edge. I can feel my teeth grinding, fury bubbling up inside, and for the first time in a long time, I realize I'm not angry at her. I'm angry at the Moon Goddess.

It's her fault. She bound me to a human, expecting the bond to be enough to overcome every obstacle, every difference. But what does the Goddess know about rejection? About this kind of pain?

"Bullshit," I mutter, my voice thick with bitter anger. I can barely see through the haze of it. I slap the table in front of me, and it rattles from the impact, my fire rising, consuming everything in its path. I turn toward the door, and then I see her. Mackenzie. Sitting on the sofa, wrapped in her friend's arms, like she's already moved on. It twists something deep inside me, sharp and painful, and it feels like everything I believed in just crumbles away. Without thinking, my wolf surges forward, taking over, pushing me toward the door.

I don't even stop myself as I slam through it, knocking Arthur aside when he tries to stop me. Alpha or not, I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore—not the pack, not my status. I need to escape, to get away from this suffocating weight of rejection.

Outside, the wolf breaks free, crashing through the woods, wild and frantic. It's the only way I can try to escape this endless ache, but it doesn't help. No matter how far or fast I run, the emptiness follows me. The howl of the wolf, raw with grief, fills the night, but it does nothing to fill the hole inside me. Nothing does.

Rejection.

Rejection from your mate—it's supposed to be the worst thing a wolf can face. Worse than any physical pain, worse than wolfsbane. But I never imagined it would feel like this. Like I'm being torn apart from the inside out. Like I'm no longer whole. My heart is shattered, pieces scattered in the wind, and I don't know how to put them back together.

I ran for hours, my thoughts a blur, my wolf in chaos. I didn't know what I was running from, or what I was running toward. Only the crushing emptiness lingered, gnawing at me with every step.

Eventually, my wolf quieted, as though it, too, had given up. But as I neared home, I felt her again—Mackenzie. A pull, sharp and magnetic, drawing me closer. My body moved instinctively, my wolf tensing at the thought of being near her again.

I found myself watching her through the bushes, my eyes locked on her as she walked away from the car shop, seemingly unaffected. She didn't know I was there. Didn't know I was watching. Seeing her like this, at ease, so detached, made the pain resurface.

How could she be so calm? How could she walk away so easily?

It hit me with brutal clarity- she never saw me the way I saw her. I loved her.

The bond we shared, the connection I thought was unbreakable, was a lie. I had given her everything—my heart, my soul—and it didn't mean a damn thing to her.

I froze, stepping on a fallen branch. My heart raced, panic rising, but I couldn't move, couldn't make a sound. I could only watch her walk farther away, each step driving a knife deeper into my chest.

She was gone. And there was nothing I could do to change that.

I turned and made my way home, my heart heavy with the weight of it all. Shifting in the backyard, I collapsed into the cold earth. I could still picture the way she looked at me when we first met—soft, affectionate. I had believed we were a perfect match, our souls bound from the very beginning. Her laughter, the way her eyes sparkled when she smiled shyly, had been my everything. But now? It all felt like a fading memory, slipping away like a dream at dawn. Every moment we shared, every touch, every kiss—were they all meaningless to her? The physical pain didn't compare to the hollow ache inside me. I was empty, a shell of the man I used to be.

The next morning, I woke in bed, the room unnervingly dark. I tried to sit up, but pain shot through me. Every muscle screamed in protest. What had happened the day before? I couldn't remember. Only flashes of rejection, fury, and helplessness lingered.

Confusion clouded my thoughts as I drew back the curtains. The sunlight felt wrong—everything felt wrong. The room was too clean, too orderly. I frowned, trying to make sense of it, but it didn't add up. Then the door opened, and I heard a gasp. My mother stood in the doorway, her face full of relief. She rushed to me, her arms wrapping around me, holding me tight.

"Oh, honey! Alistair, are you okay? You scared me half to death!" Her voice cracked with concern.

I let her comfort me, breathing in her familiar scent. It grounded me, even if just for a moment. "What happened to me, Mom? My whole body hurts."

Her eyes widened in shock. "You don't remember?"

"Remember what?" I frowned, still disoriented.

"Oh, darling, Silas! Come here! What do I do?" She started to panic, and I reached out, trying to steady her.

"Mom, calm down. Tell me what's going on," I said softly, wiping away a tear from her cheek.

Then my father entered, his serious expression immediately taking in the scene. "What's going on?"

"It's about our son," my mother said, her voice trembling. "He doesn't remember what happened."

My father stepped closer, concern deep in his eyes. "Son, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Dad. I just... can't remember yesterday," I said, scratching my head. The details were fuzzy, like a dream slipping away.

My father nodded and patted my mother's back. "It's normal after trauma. You were out cold for three days. Your wolf collapsed."

I nodded, too exhausted to process more. Mackenzie... everything felt like it had crumbled so quickly.

"Are you feeling okay? Do you want me to bring you food?" My mother's voice softened, her hand resting on my head like I was still a child.

"I had like that, Mom," I replied, giving her a small, tired smile.

She left the room, and my father stayed behind. "It's not your fault, son," he said, his tone soothing. "You did your best. She's human. She couldn't understand the mate bond."

I nodded, but the hollow ache didn't fade. I wasn't sure anything could fill it.

After a shower and some food, I felt physically better but mentally drained. I went downstairs, where Arthur and Jazmine sat with my parents.

"How are you, man?" Arthur asked, giving me a light slap on the back.

"Better," I said, sitting next to him. Jazmine offered a sad smile but stayed quiet.

"How is Cylon doing?" I asked, my gaze shifting to Arthur.

"He is doing better than we expected, it might be because Quinn had told him to give her sometime," Arthur replied. "He went back to his pack a few days ago. Jazmine insisted he should stay with us longer, but he said he's been absent from his Alpha duties

for too long, and his pack needs him for some urgent matters."

I nodded but didn't respond. The conversation didn't really matter to me right now.

As Arthur went over pack updates, I barely listened. After they left, I walked out into the backyard later that evening. My thoughts were empty, and I stood there, staring at the nearby lake.

"What are you doing out here?" my mom's voice came from behind me. I turned to find her standing beside me.

"I am fine," I chuckled at her worried expression, putting my arm around her shoulders. I tried to reassure her.

"I just came out for some fresh air, that's all," I whispered as the cool breeze brushed against my skin.

After a while, my mom left my side and gently turned me to face her. "You should have told me sooner," she said, her brown eyes narrowed slightly. "When I found out what happened, your dad and I rushed back home. Aunt Susan wanted to come too, but I stopped her. It would have been a hassle for her,"

"Mom, I didn't mean to hide this from you," I said quietly, the weight of my words heavy. "We thought it would be best to keep things quiet and only involve a few people. We wanted to focus on making them feel comfortable before we disclosed our identity. But things didn't go as planned."

She looked at me silently, as if processing everything I said. Finally, her voice softened. "Alistair, my son, if I had been there, I might have been able to persuade her."

I shrugged. It didn't matter now.

What could we have done? What was done was- done.

"Mom, I don't know how to explain it, but I can feel it. My wolf tells me she will come back. Even saying it out loud sounds crazy, doesn't it? Maybe I am losing my mind,," I sighed, shaking my head to stop myself from spiraling into delusions.

"Of course she will come back," Mom replies, her smile gentle and reassuring. "Who else could possibly find someone as wonderful as my son? And really, who in their right mind could reject my handsome boy?" She teased, pinching my cheek with a light laugh.

I couldn't help but chuckle, the warmth of her playful smile easing the weight on my chest for a moment.

As I gazed into the distance, I held onto her words, clinging to the hope that someday, they would be true.

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