Hidden Lycan. (COMPLETE)

Chapter Fifty Three

I woke up screaming. Images of Lucas flashing through my mind, my brain dreaming up ways he'd died even though I hadn't actually seen it. All the guys tried to help, tried pulling me into their arms and holding me. Tried whispering assurances and sweet nothings in my ear to get me to calm down, but my panicked mind wasn't having any of it. I thrashed and fought against them, screaming for Lucas until my throat burned. Screaming until it felt like my vocal cords were being ripped into by barbed wire. 

But he never came. No matter how much I screamed, how long, how hard, how loud. Lucas never came. His arms never surrounded me, his voice never sounded in my ear. His lips never pressed to the crown of my head. He was gone, he left me. Lucas actually left me. He promised me he wouldn't leave me. He promised he would stay. 

I buried my face in my pillow and sobbed. The tears never seemed to stop. And I couldn't seem to feel anything but pain and hollowness. I felt unbearably empty. I lifted the shirt I was wearing to my face, breathing in the scent of Lucas, the scent that will soon fade, and I will never smell again. A fresh wave of sorrow hit me, crippling me, making me curl in on myself. 

Why did it have to be him? Why did one of my men have to die and not me? I promised I'd protect them, promised I would do everything I could to protect them and I failed. I failed Lucas. I failed the guys and now they've lost their brother. I've failed everyone. 

Perran bound onto the bed and nudged my forehead with his wet nose. The kitsune had grown so much since I'd found him. He was no longer small enough to fit on my shoulder, and that made me even sadder. He was now as big as a medium sized dog and Eli said he'd get bigger. Kitsune's got to the size of tigers or bigger depending on their type. And since Perran was an unknown, we didn't know how big he'd get. 

He continued to nudge me until I unfurled myself and held my arms out to him where he jumped into me and nuzzled deeply into my chest. I clung to him tightly, burying my face into his black fur. I remembered Lucas telling me how Perran chased him around the house scolding him and the others for fighting while I was away with Hades training. I could still picture it in my mind making a broken sob fall from my lips. 

Perran pulled away and c****d his head to the side as he looked at me. His little black eyes staring into mine intently. I wanted to smile at him, wanted to try and tell him I was okay, or that I would be. But I couldn't. It was all I could do to move, to blink, to breath. Everything hurt, everything felt forced. As much as I loved my other four men, as much as I needed and wanted them, the emptiness where Lucas should be ate away at me like acid. It burned, and it felt like I was being tortured all over again by the slayers. Except I'd trade this for the slayers version of torture any day. Give me an option and I'd gladly and willingly go back just so Lucas could live, so he could come back. 

I just sighed brokenly, closing my eyes against Perran's steady gaze. I didn't want to see his disappointment in me. I didn't want to see him pitying me like the others. I didn't need pity, and that seemed like all they wanted to offer. But I knew, deep in my heart I knew they couldn't give me what I needed. They couldn't bring Lucas back. 

"Fallon." Hades strong voice came from the doorway. 

"Just go away. I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone. Hell, I don't even want to breath right now. So please. Please just go away, leave me alone." I begged, my voice breaking. 

He sighed heavily, and his foot steps thudded through the room until the bed behind me dipped, telling me he didn't leave like I asked. I groaned, covering my head with my pillow and holding it tightly to my head. I didn't want to hear the same damn speech from him too. How Lucas died a hero. He died to protect me and the people he loved. That he wouldn't want me to be acting like this and would want me to move on with my life. Well boo f*****g hoo. I didn't want to move on without him. He shouldn't have died to protect me. He shouldn't have died at all. 

"Fallon, you need to stop this and get up." My father said sternly. "Your men have just lost their brother, their friend. And now they are losing their mate. You must go to them." He demanded. 

He demanded! He actually thinks he can come in here and demand something of me right now? Today of all days! "How dare you?!" I shouted springing to my feet from where I was laying. "I just lost one of the loves of my life. A very piece of my heart. Part of my soul. One of the first people I have ever loved, ever trusted. One of the people I have ever let in. And you expect me to just get over it and stop?" I screamed, my voice echoing off my basement room. 

Hades stood, his eyes wide as he backed away from me hands in front of him in. "I didn't mean it like that Fallon." He said more gently. "I just meant that your other men need you. Today is Lucas's funeral, and you're down here alone, wallowing in your own grief. What about their grief? Their pain?" He asked. "The pain you're causing them from the bond?"

I laughed darkly. "I closed the bond when I saw Lucas laying on the ground bleeding from the gaping hole in his chest." I seethed. "I closed the bond before his eyes closed and his heart stopped beating as he died IN MY ARMS" I screamed the last part at him. "I closed it before I got coated in his blood, before I felt his skin grow cold and his lips turn blue. You could never understand." I hissed shaking my head. 

"You may have lost my mother, and I know how that feels now. But she didn't die in your arms. You didn't have to watch her as she took her last breath. You didn't have to listen as the last words that fell from her lips was to tell you she'd always love you. I had to endure that. And it replays over and over in my head. Every second of what happened replays like a twisted and heart-wrenching movie that won't stop, that keeps breaking my heart over and over again." I was sobbing now as I dropped to my knees, all anger gone. 

"You just don't get it." I whispered brokenly, holding my face in my hands. Perran crawled into my lap purring as he nuzzled into my chin, blue sparks jumped between his tails, showing his emotions were getting the better of him. 

My father dropped beside me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into chest. It was weird. Not only having my father hug me, but being hugged by a god. But it felt nice, it felt right. I've never felt the embrace of my father, my real father. And now that I have I didn't want to let go. We may have hugged awkwardly in the underworld, but this was different, raw. 

"You're right." He whispered into my hair as he stroked it. "I don't understand. And I could never possibly grasp or begin to imagine what you went through or what you continue to go through now. But maybe I can help you. All supernaturals, no matter what species end up in the underworld. I can't bring him back, but I can see if I can find him." My father told me gently. 

As wonderful as that sounds, it wouldn't help. "You can't." I whispered. "He'd be in more danger. If you found him and I went to see him, I couldn't touch him, and that would be unbearable. To see him and not be able to hold him, to kiss him after what happened? I couldn't handle that. I am a punisher in the underworld, I kill anyone I touch. I can't do that to him." I said shaking my head. 

"You can learn to control that just as you have your other powers. It's all mind over matter. If you don't want to hurt him you won't." Hades assured me. "That man you killed last time. You were scared. You didn't know where you were, who all those people were, or who to trust. Lucas is different. You know him, love him. You trust him with your entire heart. Your power knows this and wouldn't hurt him." 

A powerful but potentially deadly emotion began to bloom in my chest. Hope. "Are you sure?" I asked. "Will he be the same? He won't be like those wondering people?" 

"Well, he will." Hades answered honestly. "But if I choose, I can help him. I can lift the damage that's been done and return him to his normal state. I'll bring him back to my home and he can live there. I'll even set him up in your room, that way he will always be there when you come. But he'll never be able to cross back over." Hades warned. 

I furrowed my brow. "If I can return people back to normal, give them their human body again in the underworld. Could I do that for Lucas so he could come back? Could I bring him back?" I asked excitedly. I didn't want to hope. I didn't want to be crushed again when everything went spiraling down. But this was better than losing him completely, better than never seeing him or touching him again. 

The underworld was large though. Very large. How would Hades find him? How would he even begin or know where to look? My hope began to die at the thought. The pain returning ten fold in its wake. This wouldn't work. How could it? The underworld was too big. Hades couldn't search all of it in time to find him before he went insane like the creepy wondering people I saw. And even if he did would Lucas be the same? Or would he be changed by his experience as a wanderer? 

"It may be possible." Hades finally answered. "But it would take a lot of practice. And you'd have to be willing to practice on the others in the underworld. I can even take you to the section where the most evil of souls are kept for you to practice on them." 

I nodded vigorously. "Yes. Yes. I'll go and practice. Can the guys come? They'll never let me go alone again, especially not now." My voice had gone embarrassingly high pitched as I spoke. "And we can use the time to train there, it will give us more time than we would have here. I know the council isn't done with us. Especially after the message I made sure to send." I finished with a growl. 

Hades arched a brow. "What did you do?" He asked. 

"Well. After what happened to Lucas my lycan got angry. Furious. She surged to the surface, all my darkness and shadows with her. It was an amazing feeling. But anyway. We killed him. The shadows and darkness merged and created something else, something more. A new force that I have to practice and hone. But it killed him. It wrapped around his body like vines, growing thorns and pulsing. The thorns piercing and retreating just to pierce him again. They did this over and over. Thousands upon thousands of times. Then they twisted each limb like they were wringing out a wash cloth, leaving his limbs nothing but mangled flesh. 

And that's when I stepped in. I used the new force to lift the councilman into the air. I made sure he went as high as possible. High enough even my lycan vision couldn't see him anymore. Then I dropped him. I smiled as he fell screaming. The sound of his screams was music to me. Then well, I guess you can imagine what happened after he hit the ground. The other wolves who fought instantly stopped and pledged their allegiance to me as a lycan and upon my orders, scrapped him off the ground and sent him back to the council as a message of what would happen if they came after me or my men again." I finished, smiling at the memory. I should have done more to the bastard. 

"You could rival Zeus with your temper." Hades laughed. "I guess it truly does run in the family. Seems more like you got Cronos's temper than anyone else's. He was so paranoid about one of his children overthrowing them he swallowed them. If not for Zeus we wouldn't be here. Zeus made Cronus disgorge us and then Zeus, Poseidon and myself overthrew him and his eleven brothers and sisters casting them into Tartarus where they remain to this day. 

Tartarus is actually in the underworld. It's a prison in the deepest part of the underworld, below even where the most vile of souls reside. It is my job to make sure their prison stays strong and intact. If I ever see or sense any weaknesses in their wards my brothers come and help me reinforce them. The titans must not return." 

"Even after so long you think they are the same? You don't think they could have changed at all?" I asked. I didn't know much about the gods or the titans. But thousands and thousands of years in prison could change anyone. Make them think about what they've done. "No." Hades said firmly. 

"You would think so long in a prison would change someone." I mumbled to myself. "Were all the titans as bad as Cronus?" I asked turning back to my father. He looked at me a minute furrowing his brow slightly. "I'm just curious." I assured him. "They are part of my family after all. I have read a little about them. The primordial's. How Gaia had Cronus overthrow his father, and she remarried her son Pontus. But I also read that the earth prospered and was at peace under Cronus's rule." 

"That's true." Hades admitted. "The earth was at peace, and the land prospered greatly. But after Cronus heard of the prophecy he went mad. He ate his children to prevent it from coming to pass because he wanted to stay in power. After that the earth didn't exactly fall into chaos but it didn't do quite as well. And when we waged war on Cronus the earth suffered greatly. 

We rebuilt of course. Helping the humans and supernaturals as much as we could without being seen or discovered. It didn't take long for them to realize what was happening and who was helping. Temples started being built, alters, statues. People worshiped us. We never wanted worship, we just wanted to protect our grandparents creation, protect life. But once they stared worshiping, our power grew. It became obvious the worship made us stronger, so we went out of our way to make sure the humans knew we were there, that we were watching over them." 

Wow. I've never heard the story told like this. The gods never wanted worship, they just wanted to be guardians. That's actually amazing to hear, to know. "That's..Wow." I breathed. "What changed?" 

"Zeus." Hades growled. "he became power hungry. Wanting more and more worshipers to gain more power. He never had enough. Still to this day, he thinks he doesn't have enough." 

"Sounds to me he is worse than Cronus." I said honestly. "Nothing has ever said Cronus was power hungry. Just that he wanted to stay in charge, that he didn't want to give up the power he already had. He never wanted more, he was happy with what he already possessed." I said. 

Hades looked at me with his brows raised. "You may be right." He said in a low voice. His eyes turned dark and stared off to seemingly no where. I wonder what he's thinking about. I tilted my head to the side and studied him. He was deep in thought, not even paying attention to me anymore. Perran looked from me to Hades and sneezed before his tail brushed under my chin and another brushed Hades. 

Images flashed in my mind making me gasp. My father stood sword in hand along side two other men I didn't recognize. One man held a trident. He was impossibly beautiful with his pale skin and black hair, his ocean blue eyes, blazing like fire. The other man was equally as beautiful. His features turned up into a fierce snarl, determination and hatred filling his emerald green gaze, his blonde hair falling into his eyes as he wielded a sword made of silver, lightening danced across the blade like fire. 

Standing before them was a man the size of a small mountain. He was at least 10 feet tall. His shoulders as wide as a semi truck. He had hair as black as mine, the blue highlights gleaming off from where the sun hit it. He had eyes as blue as the other mans and skin the color of ivory. His muscles rippled and bulged down his body as he looked down at the three men that barely stood to his waist. They were going to get themselves killed. I thought horrified. 

With a battle cry, my father and the two other men charged the giant of a man. I screamed at them to stop, but no one heard me, I was a silent observer. I didn't even know what I was witnessing. The three men barely even nicked the giant as they attacked, while they took heavy damage. Silent tears ran down my cheeks at seeing my father so badly beaten, but I couldn't do anything to help. 

It was then the giant was joined by eleven others, equally as big as he was, some even bigger. No. My eyes widened as I looked between the two groups. Horrified at the difference in power. It seemed though, I had no reason to be worried. A great chasm suddenly opened in the earth, one as wide as a mountain. Lightening shot from the blonde man, water from man with black hair, and smoke from my father. The three forces merged into one unstoppable force that surrounded the massive creatures. 

They struggled. Thrashing and snarling their rage. Curses and threats falling from their lips as they were lifted by the combined force of the three gods and thrown into the depths of the pit. I couldn't look to see where it led, not that I wanted to. But the pit sealed up after them just as quickly as it opened, leaving the three men panting behind them. They dropped to the ground, their energy gone. 

The images changed. The blonde man stood upon a dais, his fists were pounding the air as he spoke to a group in front of him. My father stood beside him, arms crossed with a dark and storming look in his eyes. That man must be Zeus. I realized. Perran is somehow showing me Hades memories. I shouldn't be seeing this, it wasn't right. It's a major invasion of my fathers privacy. 

I shook my head fiercely trying to jar my way out of his head forcefully, only to be sucked into another scene. This one was different. My father was in what he was wearing now. He was in the underworld, his fists clenched at his side, his jaw ticking. He walked into what looked to be a circular dome. It was made entirely of metal and possibly as large as a small planet. 

As he walked in cells lined the walls. Creatures of all kinds wailed, screamed and screeched making me cover my ears against the onslaught. What was he doing? I continued to watch him pass cell after cell until he started passing the giants he cast down here. He was in Tararus, I realized. 

Dread and worry filled me, replacing my pain as I watched him pass the giants. Only stopping when he came to the one I saw first. The one with hair like mine and ivory skin. What was he doing? Was this what he did before he came here? Why? He should only check the wards, not enter and talk to the titans. It's too dangerous. I screamed until I was hoarse for him to turn around, to stop. But he couldn't hear me. 

"Hello father." Hades said formally. Father? It took me a split second. Cronus. I felt as my face drained of all color. No. Father, please don't. I begged. "Hades." The titans gravely voice streamed through the cell door. "How nice of you to visit." Sarcasm heavy in his voice. Wait. Titans knew what sarcasm was? But they've been locked away thousand of years. 

"Something has been brought to my attention I may require your assistance with." Hades informed him. "But it will require a blood pact. One that is unbreakable even for you. One, should you go against will shove you back into this cell so painfully you'll wish you never got out." Hades said harshly. 

You can't be serious. He can't possibly be thinking of letting Cronus out. And why would he even let him out? What was so dire that was brought to his attention he needed Cronus to help with. Cronus's deep and gravely laugh tore me from my mental rant, pulling my eyes and attention back to them. 

"How can I be of service dear son?" He asked mockingly. 

"It was brought to my attention Zeus has become too power hungry. Even worse than you. But someone has defended you." He corrected. "Someone close to me told me that unlike Zeus you never became power hungry. You were always happy with the power you held. You were just unwilling to give that power up." 

I froze. This wasn't this morning. This was the future. Hades planned on going to Tartarus to see Cronus after he left here and I couldn't stop him. Not without revealing that Perran can get me inside someones head, even a gods. 

"And who would defend me?" Cronus asked genuinely curious. 

"That is none of your business." Hades snipped. "Are you interested?" 

"Of course, of course." Cronus replied. "If not only to take down that bastard of a son, but to meet this person who defends me. I am intrigued by this." He said. 

Sudden rapping drown out the conversation. I tried to hear but the rapping kept getting louder and louder. Whispered shouts flooded my ears making me furrow my brow in confusion. What the hell was going on? Then there was a loud and reverberating SMACK! And a painful throb against my face. 

Oh, hell no. Not again. I growled as I opened my eyes, Felix leaning over me. I didn't give him a chance to react before my fist connected with his nose. He reared back, falling onto his butt holding his hand over his nose. "What the hell Fallon?" He yelled. 

"Never hit me." I hissed. 

"We tried to warn you." Alaric shrugged. 

"What happened?" I asked sitting up from where I now realized I'd passed out on the floor. 

"We don't know. Hades came and got us. Said you passed out and he couldn't get you to wake up. We tried shaking you, calling your name. Lightly tapping on your face, even jerking you by your shoulders. Nothing seemed to work until Felix slapped you." Xavier answered. 

I growled again, glaring at the fae who was still holding his nose. "Anyway, it's time Fallon." Eli said sadly. 

No. The pain and anguish filled me again and I hugged myself, but nodded at him. He pulled me to my feet and tucked me tightly into his side as he led me up the stairs and outside to where we would be burying Lucas.