Following my parents' steps(SQ:The good girl is changing me)

Chapter seventeen - I can't do this anymore

Skyler's POV:

It has been one week since all the things, which Blake said to Missy. Since then she is making my life like hell. She hasn't hurt me physically, but her words did. The worst thing is that I can't tell my best friend about this. Otherwise, she will make something to separate us and I don't want this to happen. I have seen her doing what she said and trust me when she says that she will do something, she will do it. I can't risk our friendship. I didn't tell my parents, because I know that they will mess with this and Blake somehow will understand. Now, I am alone. I can't share with anyone what is going on or ask for help. I can talk with my brother, but I am sure that he will tell mom and dad. After all, he is mommy's boy. Why do my parents have to care so much for me? This is the first time I wish that they didn't pay attention to me. To be honest, I always have loved this, but now, this might cause more problems. It's not like I don't have enough. I know why Missy is acting like that, but just because her parents don't pay enough attention to her, it doesn't mean that she has to hate me. That's not my fault. I can talk with her parents, but they won't listen to me anyway. I feel like no matter what I do, she will always hate me. Maybe I have done something to her, but I don't know what. She said that I took everything for what she has been working so hard, but this is not true. I didn't steal anything from her. She lost it by herself.

I woke up not ready to face school. One of the worst things is that I have to pretend to be ok in front of my parents. It's not like they always believe me. In that case, I say that I am tired because I had a hard subject in school or something like that. The only person who doesn't believe me at all is Mike. He never said anything, but I know that I can't lie to him. Luckily, he hasn't told anything to mom and dad. Otherwise, I might be in trouble for lying and hiding the truth. It's not like I haven't done this once.

I have to get out of bed, but I can't. I don't have enough energy to do that. There was a knock on the door and I quickly put on my smile when I looked up and saw that it was my brother. Thank god for that. I made him some space and he laid down next to me. I smiled at him, but he didn't return it.

- Someone wants to snuggle, right?

- I want to know what is going on with you. Mom and dad might believe your excuses, but not me. If you have a problem, you know that you can tell me. If you don't, then tell Blake. I am sure that he doesn't know either.

- I don't have a problem. Everything is fine.

- Why are you lying to me? I thought that you are my sister.

- And I still am.

- Then don't lie to me and tell me what is the problem.

- Ok, fine, but you can't tell anyone. Promise me that you won't tell.

- I promise. Now spill the tea. - he chuckled

- One girl said something mean about my best friend and it made me upset. I didn't tell him, because I know that he will talk with her and say horrible things. This is something small and I don't want to mess mom and dad.

- You said that you would tell me the truth.

- And I did.

- No, you didn't. You know what? Do whatever you want, but I won't help you. - he said and left

I feel horrible. I know that Mike cares for me, but I can't mess him with this. Moreover, this is something between Missy and me, not the rest of the people around me. I don't want to risk.

Finally, I got out of bed and went to get ready. Later, I went for breakfast. I sat next to Mike, but he refused to look at me. Great. Now, he is mad at me. At least my parents and Blake aren't. Otherwise, I don't know what I was going to do. When I was done, both with Mike walked to school. He didn't say a single word during the whole time. Once we walked into school, he walked away and left me alone. I don't know how to make him understand that it's better for him to not know anything. I walked up to Blake and both of us went to class.

On the break, before my second class, I walked into the bathroom. I found a note in one of the cabins. How does this person know in which cabin I will go? Again, it wasn't something nice, but I didn't pay attention to that. What got me were the words. I don't want to say it, but they might be true.

You are one big disappointment. That's why your parents don't love you. Why are you even alive?

I felt tears in the corners of my eyes but wiped them before I walked out. I put my fake smile on and went to my best friend who was waiting for me in front of my locker. We walked to our next class.

- Hey, are you ok?

- Yes, I am. Why?

- I don't know. You looked lost in your thoughts.

- Sometimes I do that. Don't mind me.

- If you say so.

On the lunch break, I told Blake that I won't come because I have something to do. The truth is that I wanted to be alone for a while. I hate to lie to people, but right now, I can't tell the truth. I walked to the gym since no one uses it on the breaks. I sat on one of the benches, rested my head on the wall, and closed my eyes. Soon I felt a presence and opened them. Missy was in front of me. This time she was alone. Remind me to not talk so fast. Nicky came as well, both of them sat next to me. There is no escaping.

- What do you want from me? Isn't what you did enough? The whole week you are walking after me and made me feel miserable. - I said looking at Missy

- This is only the beginning princess. - Nicky said

- What do you mean?

- I will make you feel the same as me when you came to this school. I won't stop until I break you. Don't forget that if you tell someone, I will make sure that something will happen to this person. - Missy said

- You can't do that. I didn't do anything.

- You did more than enough. Slowly, you will start falling until you completely disappear. Don't worry. No one will miss you.

- Why are you doing this? Nothing of what has happened to you is my fault.

- What left me was this school and you took it from me. Now you will suffer. I will not hurt you physically, but I will mentally break you. Also, I suggest you think before you go to your friend. After all, you don't want something to happen to him, right?

- Don't you dare.

- It depends on you. In the moment you tell anyone about this, I will know and my plan will be in action. It's up to you do you want to protect these people or not. I know that your little brother suspects something. It will be bad if he loses all of his friends, thanks to his sister.

- No, don't do this. He didn't do anything to you.

- Do I look like I care?

- Just listen and do what Missy told you. Otherwise, one by one, all the people that you care about will go through her. Including your lovely parents. - Nicky said and both with Missy left

I couldn't hold it anymore and broke down. How she can be so cruel? Soon I felt hands wrapped around me and looked up to see my best friend. How much I want to tell him everything, but I can't. If something happens to him, I will never forgive myself. He carefully wiped my tears and kissed the top of my head. I don't want to hide anything from him, but I don't want to risk either. Missy is crazy enough to do something and I won't let her. I prefer to suffer instead of everyone who cares about me. I know that if something happens, my parents won't stop loving me, but they don't deserve anything bad.

- Will you tell me what is going on? I have noticed that sometimes you are off. Is there a problem?

- No, I just had a bad day since the moment I woke up. That's it.

- Look, I understand that it might be something hard for you, but you can share with me. After all, I am your best friend.

- I know, but I don't want to talk about this.

- Ok, I won't pressure you. When you feel ready, you can tell me.

No, I can't. I can't tell you anything. Otherwise, you might not be alive and I don't want to feel the same pain as a mom when dad got beaten up to death. Lucky, he survived, but I don't know will Blake do it.

After school, I walked home. I told Blake that today I want to be alone and luckily, he didn't ask anything and just agreed. It's time for me to put an end to this. I can't do this anymore. While my parents were still in the office, I walked to the kitchen and found the knife, which dad uses to open his packages. I broke a little bit of it and went into my room. I left my backpack on the bed and walked into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. There is someone, but this is not me. I am not the same girl anymore. I pulled one of my sleeves and drew a line using the knife. From now on, I will draw a line every time someone is mean to me, when I have disappointed someone, or have said a lie. The first one is for what Missy said today. I feel like soon both of my hands will be covered with lines, but I don't care. This is what I deserve for being a bad person. Since no one will punish me, I will do it by myself. I don't care how much it hurts. Of course, I have to hide this, which means no more t-shirts or anything that can show my arms. If mom sees this, she will break and I can't let this happen. I put the piece of the knife under one box, which I have in my left cabin, and walked out.

I spent the afternoon in my bedroom. That was my plan. My parents said that they will go out with Mike and invited me to come, but I said that I want to take a nap and denied it. I know that my brother didn't believe me. I saw the way he looked at me. If I could tell you what is going on, you would understand, but I can't. Soon I received a message and it was from Missy. Since when she is texting me?

I see that you are a good girl. Keep it like that and no one will get hurt. Don't worry. Once you break down, I will stop going after you. Have a nice day.

How I hate her. Like it's not enough that she is hurting me, but she has to go after my friend and family as well. I don't understand her. One day she will pay me for all the things, which she did for me, but now, I have to keep it calm and pretend that everything is ok. This won't be easy. Especially with my brother.

Later dad came into my room. I put my fake smile on, but I think that he understood that it was not real. Please tell me that he doesn't suspect anything.

- Skyler, are you ok? Lately, you are always tired and don't want to go anywhere. Even Blake is not coming here so often. Did something happen between you two?

- No, I just wanted to spend some time alone. That's it.

- You know that you can tell me everything. If there is a problem, I will help you.

- Thanks, but there is nothing about which you have to worry. I'm fine.

- Ok, then. Let's go downstairs. Soon the dinner will be ready.

- I'll be down in five minutes.

I might have managed to lie to my dad, but I don't know for how long I can keep doing this. I feel horrible, but I have no choice. Let's hope that this will finish soon. Otherwise, I don't know what I will do. Mike is already mad at me and when the others understand, I expect them to get mad as well. I don't want to think about what might happen between Blake and me. To be honest, I don't want to lose our friendship, but once he understands that I have lied to him, he will never want to talk with me. I can't blame him. In his place, I will do the same. One day this will end, but the question is when. Soon Missy will get what she wants. I hope that this will make her happy and that she will finally stop going after people for no reason.