Lost and Found

chapter 9

    I am so excited when I leave Ez's office. I have powers, like some superhero or something.  I cant wait to see what all I can do.  I walk down the hall silently with Isis.

    "Did you know we could do this?" I ask Amaris

    "No" she responds. 

    "That's it? Nothing else to add? are you excited, scared. freaked out? what's going on?" I ask her.

    "I am not trying to rain on your parade. I know how happy you are, we have a place we belong to, we have family, possibilities. You have wanted this for so long. Being an affinity wolf comes with a lot of pressure and there isn't a very good history." 

    "Its fine, I may not be the first affinity wolf, but I am the first Selena Santos affinity wolf. I can do this, we got it." I say, trying to push my good mood onto her. 

    "Fine, your right. Just be careful, like Ez said, using the abilities will drain us fast, we need to practice."

    "We will." I say feeling confident. 

    "We will start your training immediately. Are you ready?" Isis asks, pulling me out of my head.

    "Like right now?" She just looks at me and nods. "Lets do this then." 

 I follow her out of the house and into the woods. We walk for a while following a small stream, we finally get to a small clearing with a waterfall. This is so beautiful, I think to myself. 

    "First, you are gonna need to shift." She states. 

    "Umm what? Just like that? Like its super simple or something?" I shake my head.

    "It is. You have to practice, we have to get it down so you can shift in seconds. It will take time to get there so we are gonna start now. You have been 18 for a few days now, the longer you wait the more painful it will be. Just breath, talk to your wolf, she will talk you through it. You have to let go of control and hand it to your wolf."  She climbs onto a large rock,  pulls out an apple  and starts eating. 

"Well enjoy the show." I mutter sarcastically. Ok, I can do this. I can make flowers bloom, this is easy. "Ok Amaris, I guess this is on you." 

    "Just like she said, you have to let me have control. Just breath, center yourself and release your mind, there will be a lot of pain but you must breath through it and don't break the connection. It will get more painful if you attempt to regain control in the middle of a shift."

 I nod, I take a few steadying breaths. I close my eyes, clearing my mind,  "Ok you can take control" I tell Amaris. I feel her, moving to the forefront of my mind as I shift to the side, I feel the first crack in my leg, I breath through it. Ok that sucked but "Crack" my other leg goes, I keep breathing as they continue, I feel my arms contorting, as if they are being ripped off. I am trying to keep my breathing under control but the searing pain of every bone breaking is pretty distracting. I am ripped back as my ribs and spine crack, I scream out, this it too much. f**k, I have never felt pain like this. 

    "Stop fighting me, you are making it worse" I hear Amaris yell, I hadn't even realized I was trying to take control again. "Stop being a baby and let it happen. Every wolf goes through this, don't be weak, it wont kill you." she says. 

 That hit a nerve, I am not weak, I go back to focusing on my breathing. If everyone else has done this, I will too.  It feels like each bone is breaking one by one, as the cracks continue and the pain feels never ending. Finally after what feels like hours it stops. Its a strange feeling when I open my eyes, like I can see everything but its not my eyes, my vision is way more enhanced and I don't have control of my body. I guess because its not really mine. 

 Amaris walks over to the water and I see in the reflection, we are a huge wolf there is a perfect line down the middle of her face and back, on half of her is pure white, the other half is so black it seems endless. I hear Isis hop down from her rock. 

    "Well that took about 15 min, not bad. Now lets go." she says. She turns, gets a running start before she jumps. In mid air she shifts to a black wolf with tufts of brown, her shift is so seamless.  

    "I gotta get like that" I think to myself. 15 mins? What the f**k, felt like a lot longer then that. I take off running after her, I thought loved running as a human but damn I love it as a wolf. All my senses are heightened, I hear squirrels running from us, birds dipping below the trees, I see a few chipmunks scurrying away into their hidey-holes. The wind tickling my fur, I am running faster then I could have thought possible, I feel like I could fly. 

    I follow Isis as we run keeping close to her,  Amaris stays behind her but I am sure we could pass her in a heartbeat if we wanted too. I see other wolves in the woods as we are running, they stop and stare. A couple of them growl but when they see Isis it stops pretty quickly. We run for miles, I have no idea where we are going or why, after a few hours we end up back at the same waterfall. Isis shifts back and I follow suit. Shifting to a person was a lot less painful, when I am standing on 2 legs, I see Isis come out from behind the rock with some clothes for me. I put them on quickly. 

    "So every time we shift back we are naked, is that weird?" I ask

    "Nah" she shrugs. "We are all pretty used to it, besides I haven't seen a bad body here, its just as much fun for us as it is for guys." She giggles. "No, but seriously I don't even notice anymore. Its so common, besides a lot of wolves have mates or are only interested in finding their mates. You will see. There are some guys that just want to bang anything that moves, don't worry I will let you know who to watch out for. Although once they hear you are the Alpha's grandkid, they wont want to mess with you."

    "Is the mate thing really that big of a deal?" I ask

    "Girl yes! Its a big deal. When you see 2 mates together you will get it. We spend our whole lives looking for that person. They say once you find them your whole world shifts and its like seeing things through new eyes. I don't know. I just go off of what my parents tell me. Majority of us stay virgins until we find our mates, not wanting to waste time on someone that will only be temporary, when the love of our life could be waiting around the corner. Besides it would be awkward if you are hooking up with a wolf and find out your mate is his brother or something. Things can get complicated."

    "So does that mean you are a virgin?" I as curiously. 

    "Of course." She says, like it should be obvious. I just nod my head. "What?" she asks after I don't respond. 

    "Well its just..I don't know any 20 yr old virgins...hell I don't know any girls my age that are virgins." I say trying not to sound like I'm shaming her. Its totally fine, just unexpected is all. 

    "So you're not?" she asks, almost sound excited. 

    "No. That ship has sailed." I say though a laugh. 

    "That's ok, I haven't known many females that weren't virgins before they met their mates. Its a little more common for men. Double standard I know. I just hope your mate doesn't mind." 

    "My mate? what does that matter?" I ask.

   She starts biting her lip nervously, thinking before she responds. "Well... I just....Its.." She is floundering trying to figure out what to say. 

    "Just spit it out." I say impatiently.

    "Well... Men kind of expect to be our first. I don't know. Some guys don't care, they are just happy to find their mate but others, I have heard of them rejecting their mate when they find out." She sees my confusion and continues before I say anything. "Rejection is something wolves can do if they find their mate and they don't want to be with them. Its pretty serious and very painful. I have heard of it happening in extreme circumstances, like a wolf finds out their mate is a r****t or has murdered innocent people. Somethings are just unforgivable. I have also heard of more selfish reasons, like they want a higher status or someone that can elevate them. Its not something to be taken lightly. They say some wolves have died from the pain of rejection."

    "So because someone doesn't want you, you die? seriously? and they would do that because a woman isn't a virgin?" This is ridiculous. 

    "You don't get it. Of course we would hope not, but who knows. Wolves are like everyone else, there are good and bad ones. We must always have faith that the moon goddess has chosen one that suits you perfectly and accepts you completely. When you find your mate it will all make sense."

    "I don't know that I even want that. This sounds a little extra for me. I don't know that I want to depend or need someone that badly besides, that is pretty messed up. My soul mate wouldn't want me because of some archaic manly need to deflower a woman. That's trash"

"I am not saying they wont want you. I don't know why I said that. I guess it is always a small fear, that whomever it is wouldn't want me back. You would be lucky to find your mate, some of us go a long time alone before we are finally lucky enough to find our mates." She say's bitterly. I must have hit a nerve. 

    " You are right. I don't get it. Maybe we focus on something else for now." I ask trying to change the subject. 

    "Its cool. Lets get back to training. You have had a 10 minute break. Strip your clothes and shift." She says as she leans up against the rock. 

    "Seriously?"

    "Yep, and I don't have an unending supply of clothes behind me. So rip this set and you are walking back to the pack house naked." she says with a smile. 

 After 3 hours of shifting and running shifting back and resting, Isis finally agrees to head back to the pack house. She is hungry and bored. Shifting is still painful but its definitely bearable. After we get some food I am supposed to start hand to hand combat. Sounds ok, I have been in more then a few fights so I am not to worried. 

    We head into the pack house and there are a few dozen people milling around. They all look a little rough and sweaty, eating and joking around. All eyes snap up as Isis and I walk into the room. Glancing around at everyone I try to keep my jaw from dropping. Never in my life have I been in a room with so many beautiful people. All the men are shirtless, I just stare in pure appreciation of the well built figures in front of me.  The women are in sports bras and shorts, I'm not into girls, but I can appreciate the beauty, even their bodies are near perfection.  I make my way up from the deep V's dipping into basketball shorts to look at their faces. 

    "What's up." I nod at the room. No one responds for a few seconds so I follow it with a head shake, giving the room a look telling them "What?"

   "Damn, she is new. Can you guys show some class. That's the Alpha's grandkid." Says a tall figure walking into the room. He walks up to me, I follow from his 8 pack abs to his bulging pecks and my eyes finally settle on his face his full lips pulling back into a smile. He has long dreads that are pulled back into a bun, but a few escape and hang down his back. "I am Cairo, Isis's brother."

    "Hey, thanks for breaking the silence. This was getting a little awkward." I say, smiling back, thankful everyone has gone back to eating and talking. A few people keep glancing at me, making it obvious they are talking about me. 

    "Yeah..sorry. We don't get many new people around here, especially unmated. The guys can get a little excited and forget them selves. We have been training, so the blood is pumping." He laughs it off. He starts heading to a few seats and motions for us to follow. "Ever since we heard you had arrived, the pack has been trying to get a look at you. Many of them hoping you could be a potential mate, but mostly out or curiosity. "

    "Hmmm." Is all I get out. It is a little annoying everyone giving me the side glances, like they think they are slick. Getting sick of it, I get up and stand on the bench. "Hey, excuse me. Hi everyone." They all start looking at me confused as I continue. "Well as most of you know, My name is Selena Santos, I AM the Alpha's grand daughter. I grew up not knowing I was a wolf or where I came from which is why I was never around before. I get that I am new here, but I would appreciate it, IF, instead of speculating and guessing about me you, treat me like a person instead of a side show attraction. If you are wondering about something please just ask me, instead of staring at me like you think I will grow a 2nd head or something." I finish and sit down, back between Isis and Cairo. Some of the people looking amused, a few seem even more curious and a couple, looked at me like I said I was gonna kill their pet cat. 

    The rest of the meal went by much better, with so many people coming up and introducing themselves. Most everyone was nice, seeming just curious. I guess the Alpha doesn't open up for questions and it seems he doesn't really speak to anyone. Which feels like an interesting way to lead people, but what do I know. I did see a couple girls hanging in the back giving me death stares. So these must the the ones that usually get he attention. Whatever, I am used to those. Cliques happen everywhere, why would the pack be any different. Besides this whole new girl thing will wear off and eventually no one will care. After a little while Cairo calls everyone outside to go back to training. As they leave I lean into Isis to ask a question.

    "So does everyone here look like that?" I finally ask. A few guys hear me and turn back with a smirk. I give them a wink, and their grins widen as they keep walking. 

    "Yea pretty much." She says with a shrug. " I have been around them my whole life so it doesn't seem like a big deal, but I get what you are saying."

    "I could have some fun here." I say with a laugh. I have always been a flirt, and so many of these guys are too fine. 

    "Careful." she says. "Keep in mind eventually everyone has a mate. You might not realize now because it could be fun, but that fun could have unforeseen consequences. There is a bigger picture." Isis looks at me dead on. She might be right, maybe I don't know enough just yet, in that moment she seems so much older then 20. 

    "I get what your saying." I say, nodding my head. 

    "Come on, we should get back to work too." she says, pushing herself up from the table. I take a deep breath and follow her out.

    "Round 2" I mutter under my breath.