Deflected Cracks
1075 Words
"Why do you only want me when everything else falls apart?" Leah asked, voice thick with painful honesty.
Xian leaned against the doorframe, his drunk eyes searching her face. "Leah, that is not fair. I always want you around. You are my person."
She forced a small laugh that tasted like ash in her mouth. The words she had thrown out hung between them but she pulled back fast. No more demands. No interrogation. If he could not see her worth on his own, pushing would only make her look desperate. Secret pain twisted deeper inside her chest. She had fetched his conquest earlier, heard the moans in his casual recap, cleaned up his mess again. Now he stood here begging for her space while reeking of bar and bad choices. Regret flooded her for loving someone so blind.
"Listen, if you are trying to score a place to crash, that line needs work," Leah said, injecting sarcasm. "Are you a hockey puck? Because you got me falling for you every time you slap me with these late night texts." The joke pickup line came out light and witty but her heart cracked further. She wanted him to laugh, to finally notice the real weight behind her humor, yet she knew he would miss it.
Xian blinked then chuckled low. "Damn, that was terrible but kind of cute. You got more where that came from?" He stepped slightly closer, his body heat familiar and tempting. Sensual pull mixed with her growing hate for how easily he leaned on her without giving back. Possessive feelings surged in her. She wanted to claim him fully, not share scraps after fans begged his name.
Leah shrugged and turned toward her own room. "Plenty more but I am sleepy now. Big day tomorrow assisting the MVP himself. Early appointment with Coach Morgan to review game tape and your press obligations. I need to be sharp so you do not miss anything." Her voice stayed steady, professional, hiding the obsessive storm inside. Every word hurt. She managed his life perfectly while her own feelings stayed buried. Susan had prepared his soup downstairs like always, a silent acceptance of this cycle that made Leah feel even more trapped.
He followed her a few steps down the hall. "Wait, do not brush me off. That joke felt loaded. You know I crashed here because Mom would panic seeing me wrecked. She worries too much after wins." Xian ran a hand through his messy hair, regret flickering across his face for a moment. "You and Aunt Susan always handle me right. The soup hit the spot earlier."
"Yeah, Mom keeps it ready because she cares," Leah replied, pausing at her door. Inside she felt dramatic waves of emotion. Childhood best friend turned manager turned eternal fixer. She had watched him become hockey MVP, celebrated his goals, shielded his image from scandals. Yet tonight she pictured that fan moaning his name and it burned. Her secret heartbreak, the way his casual reliance made her hate him while love kept her chained. Thrilling darkness lingered in her thoughts. What if she stopped answering? What if she let him face consequences?
Xian leaned on the wall, sobering slightly from the soup. "You are the only one who gets me. Dexter jokes about my hookups but you actually fix them. That girl tonight was nothing serious. Just celebration after the win." His tone tried for casual but carried guilty undertones. He reached out and touched her arm lightly, the contact sparking unwanted heat in her.
Leah pulled away gently. "Nothing serious for you maybe. I still had to tuck her into an Uber while she raved about three rounds." The words slipped with more edge than planned. She regretted showing even that much. No demands, she reminded herself. Let him realize her worth naturally or lose her slowly. Obsessive possession filled her veins. She imagined him choosing her, touching her with the same intensity he gave strangers, but reality crushed that fantasy.
"s**t, Leah. I did not think about how that lands on you." Xian's voice softened with rare self awareness, yet it changed nothing tonight. Her regret deepened for enabling this pattern. Hate toward Xian grew for his entitlement wrapped in charm. He took her rock solid presence for granted while she lay awake replaying his victories and her invisible role.
She opened her door a crack. "It is fine. Get rest in the guest room. I will wake you early for coffee and drive you to the rink. Appointments wait for no one, especially not hungover MVPs." Witty deflection kept her safe but pain throbbed secretly. She craved more conversations like old times, real connection, not cleanup duty.
Xian blocked her door lightly with his hand. "That pickup line earlier. You falling for me? Be real for once." His eyes held hers, possessive and searching. The air thickened with dramatic tension, romantic what ifs clashing against her exhaustion. Sensual awareness of his nearness made her ache. She wanted to pull him inside her room, confess everything, but pride and self protection won.
Leah met his gaze steadily.
"Jokes are jokes, Xian. I am actually tired and you need sleep before Coach Alex tears into your stats tomorrow. Dexter probably already sent memes about your bar antics." She stepped into her room, hand on the knob. Emotion welled up. Years of being sidekick, assistant, secret carrier. Susan upstairs unaware of the full heartbreak. Drew would tell her to cut him off if he knew. This dark romance pulled her between hate and desperate love.
He did not move. "I hate when you shut down. Tell me I am not imagining the tension here." His drunk honesty felt thrilling yet painful. Regret showed in his posture, as if the fetched girl and her own hidden pain finally weighed on him.
"Goodnight, Xiam," she said softly, starting to close the door. The secret heartbreak intensified. She had tossed out her feelings lightly, hoping he would see her true worth without force. Instead she felt more invisible. Obsessive thoughts whispered she deserved better while her heart refused to let go.
Xiam pushed the door open an inch more, face close to hers. "Leah, do not leave it like this."
Her pulse raced with mixed emotions. .
"Do you actually see me beyond the fixer role or am I just convenient forever?" Leah asked, the question slipping despite her resolve.
- Writer
