Under Your Skin

Chapter 1-2

“And?”

His sister’s sigh whistled in his ear. “We need to talk about where Mom will go when she’s released from the hospital. She’ll only be here a few days.”

“I thought you were looking into a rehab facility.”

“I tried, but it made her upset. She thinks we’re going to dump her off and leave her for good.”

“So explain to her that’s not the case. She knows she won’t be able to get around your house. It’s not like she lost her mind.”

“She’s feeling vulnerable and she’s worried about being alone.”

“I don’t know what you want from me, Jaleesa.”

“Maybe she could stay with you.”

“I have stairs in my house.”

“Five, Kai. Five measly steps to get up to your door. Everything else is on one floor. You have the space.”

What she really meant was that he could make the space for his mom to move in. He didn’t want to. His house was set up exactly as he wanted. He would have to move all of his workout equipment somewhere, probably to the basement or the garage. He had no furniture for her. No bed or anything. He didn’t have guests and he liked it that way.

“I can’t take care of Mom. I don’t know what to do with her.”

“And I do? You figure it out, Kai. That’s what you do for family.”

“I have a business to run and I keep long hours.”

“At least think about it. We can probably hire someone to fill in when you’re not around so she’s not alone, but she’ll feel secure in your house.”

“Why can’t we hire someone to help at your house?”

“Stairs.”

“Maybe we can convert some space to make it work.”

“My whole family isn’t losing our living room so you don’t have to man up.”

He shook his head, not wanting to lose this argument. “We’ll talk about this later. I have to go.”

“Try to stop by the hospital. It’ll make her happy.”

“Yeah.” He clicked off and stared at the brick building across from him. He was tempted to throw his phone to hear the satisfying c***k of plastic against the wall. Instead, he inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. The air he sucked in was rank with the smell of rotting garbage. Tomorrow was pickup day and the heat did no favors for the Chinese restaurant on the corner.

The sun beat against his skin, searing it. Five minutes of quiet without thinking about his mom at the hospital. Anything was better than the damn hospital. Leaning against the back door, with his eyes closed, he allowed the sun to sink into him.

The door thumped against him and he stepped away. So much for his five minutes. Tommy stuck his head out. “Your appointment’s here.”

“Okay.”

Tommy eyed him up and down but said nothing.

“What?”

“You’re wound a little tight today. Everything okay?”

“f*****g peachy.”

“Alrighty then.”

Kai grabbed the door and swung it wide to go back into the shop. “Your sister gone?”

“Yeah, but she left the Rice Krispies Treats if you want one.”

“I’m not six, so no thanks.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing.”

As he walked to the front, an image of Norah’s jiggling t**s gave him some idea what he was missing. She was cute but knocked up. He definitely didn’t need to think about her t**s. His client, Marcus, waited on the battered leather couch having a conversation with Puck, another of Kai’s artists. Puck was chewing a Rice Krispies Treat.

Kai raised his hand in greeting and then ducked into his office to grab the artwork. Marcus stood at the counter waiting.

“Here’s the art.” Kai slid the sheet in front of him.

“Looks great,” Marcus said, nodding.

“Good. Pay Tommy here and I’ll go set up.” He handed Tommy the invoice and returned to his station. He made the thermal of the design—an eagle flying with the American flag—and set up his ink.

In here, with the buzz of the machine and the color of the art, he didn’t have to think about anything else. He didn’t have to worry about his mom or fighting with his sister. The art was everything.

Norah stared at her laundry basket full of clothes. She had no space to call her own. When she’d come home, she more or less commandeered Jimmy’s room, which was almost a full apartment in the attic. Growing up, it had been the boys’ bedrooms, but Jimmy remodeled so he could have a living room, bedroom, and bath. Little had he known that Tommy and Sean would both move back home. They lived in the basement. Kevin was the only one who left and stayed gone.

She’d been here for weeks, but it was still Jimmy’s room and it wasn’t fair for her to take it over.

Two quick knocks sounded at the door before Jimmy stuck his head in. “Hey.”

“Hi. I was just thinking about you.”

“Yeah?” He came into the room.

“I have no idea what Dad filled my old bedroom with downstairs. I tried looking through it, but he yelled that I need to keep my hands off his stuff.”

Jimmy rubbed a hand over his head. “I don’t know what’s in there either. I forget that room exists.”

“I told you before that I’d move in there so you can have your room back. But you gotta do something about Dad.”

“You can stay here. I don’t think I’ll be needing the space much longer.”

Norah’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

Where the hell was Jimmy going? She’d just come home. She wasn’t ready for him to leave her life again. She’d been counting on him being there.

He sat on the edge of the bed. “I was planning on talking to all of you guys at once, but since you’re the only one home, I’ll start with you.” He patted the spot beside him.

She sat and a sinking feeling gripped her. The last time Jimmy spoke with her like this, he’d told her he was joining the Army and she was being shipped off to Aunt Bridget’s.

“Moira and I are serious. I’ve asked her to buy a house with me and move in together.”

“What? You like just started dating. Isn’t that rushing it a bit?” He was leaving, just like she feared. The one guy she needed in her life to lean on and he was leaving.

“I love her.” Jimmy put his arm around her shoulder. “We’re going to look for something in the neighborhood so I’m close to Dad and you. I’ll be around, but it’s time for me to start living my life.”

She shot up. “Start? You’ve been living your life for years. That’s why you got rid of me when I was twelve. So you could go be a soldier. Then a cop.”

“I always made sure you were taken care of.”

“It’s not the same. And now . . .” She rubbed her tight belly where the baby did a flip. Her breaths shortened and she stepped farther away from Jimmy.

“You’re not alone, Norah.”

Right now, she felt completely alone.

“We’re all here for you. We’ve tried to help, but you’re not letting any of us in. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yeah, you are. You’re already gone.” She focused on slowing her breathing and calming her system. Being upset wasn’t good for the baby.

“I’d like to take everyone out to dinner tomorrow so you guys can all get to know Moira.”

“Doesn’t everyone already know Moira? She grew up across the street. You’re best friends with her brother. I haven’t lived here in ten years, but I know that.” She didn’t know why she was feeling ornery. Part of her wanted to lash out at his happiness, even though she knew it wasn’t fair.

“Yeah, they know who she is, but they don’t know her. You’ll like her if you give her a chance.”

Norah had nothing to say. She suspected she would like Moira, given how much grief Moira had given Jimmy. And that was only the little bit Norah had gleaned from hiding out for the past few weeks while Jimmy fell in love.

“Whatever.” She couldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing she liked the woman who kept him on his toes. She looked over the room. “If I’m going to stay in here, you think I could have a few drawers or something?”

“I’ll do better than that. I’ll clear it all out except for the furniture. Make it yours.” He stood and stepped closer to her. “You are staying, right? Not going back to Boston?”

“There’s nothing in Boston for me.” Avery wasn’t even there because he still had one more year of college. More than anything she wanted to be at home. For all the years she’d lived in Boston, it had never felt like home. The few short visits she’d made to Chicago each year had felt like a homecoming.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do?”

She shook her head.

“Have you called the father?”

“Not yet.” She raised a hand to cut him off from yelling at her again. “I said I would and I will as soon as I know what I want to do. There’s a lot to weigh. What if he wants me to come back to Boston? I don’t know if I want that.”

“I guess what I’m really asking is if you want to keep the baby.”

She pressed her lips together for a moment before answering. “It’s not about what I want anymore. It’s about what’s best for the baby. I’m not sure what that is.”

“We can make it work.” He nodded and left, closing the door behind him.

She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to take away from that. Knowing Jimmy, he meant she should keep the baby, that he’d help out. She knew he would, but it wasn’t his responsibility. He was getting ready to start his own family.

Norah sat with her laptop and began her search. She’d ignored thinking and making a decision for almost seven months now. Complete denial was the basis for the beginning of her pregnancy. She’d worn baggy shirts and told no one. Then when she had to face the pregnancy as well as her aunt’s fury, she’d switched to survival mode. She’d focused on passing her classes while couch-surfing to have a place to live.

It was time to get real.

What would it take for her to keep the baby? What were her options for adoption? The questions alone made her heart hurt. Although she’d done a bang-up job of keeping emotionally distant from the baby growing inside her, she still cared. More than she wanted to.

And now she only had weeks to figure it out. She’d wasted too much time already.

She searched for adoption agencies and began clicking away. The Open Door sounded promising. She spent more than an hour on the site. She took a quiz to determine if she was ready to be a parent. Her answers split right down the middle. Half said she was ready, the other half not. Looked like there were no easy answers to be found.