7 Letters

7 Letters-2

When I was little I used to play with the Sky at nights. At summertime I usually looked high up. I had been told that upon seeing a shooting star I had to rush to make a wish. If I was fast enough, the wish would come true. I was thrilled by the fact that the sky was full of stars. They stood for many of my dreams and wishes. I used to enjoy this night view for hours on end being filled with a sense of completion. My game was something different. I targeted a particular star. It attracted my attention because it was exceedingly bright and paramount or because it was encircled by deep darkness.

I lay there betting with myself that the star I targeted would shoot down. You know the end of this expectation. It never did. I was the one who fell, beaten by the attraction of sleep.

But this whole affair used to repeat itself every summer. A soul asking the universe for something. I still haven’t grown up although it’s been years away from this time. I never learned my lesson. I may no longer find myself under the brightest of darkness, but my soul raises up to call upon the universe just as it did in those summers in the most magnificent country in the planet.

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I can feel my strength when I think just how much I feel life in me. I should really stop thinking, sever both of my hands, lock my eyes shut for ever, stop smelling things, stop living and erase who I am. Even you don’t know and I do not know if you’ll ever come to know anything. It all may come as a surprise to you but there are many things you can’t understand. Things I unfortunately cannot divulge to you. My jealousy is apparent but if it is true that it is I who loves you most in this world, then let me be jealous of whatever and whomever lays a claim on this absolute and exclusive love.

Take a sip from the drink you bought me so that you will get as dizzy as I am. Punish yourself as you did me.

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I discover the tenderness of your flesh in places that are considered extremely remote in one’s body. My heart misses heartbeats in its attempt to respond to the pressure of the feelings and the insatiable passion. Runaway lovers from the enemy of time, we move in a primitive carnal rhythm, enjoying a sinful pleasure. Every time is a walk in Paradise. We are the sole witnesses of the purest of miracles.

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Prepare yourself for what is yet to come. You shall have to face up to reality, just like everybody else. She is tough, just like all things feminine, anyhow. She dawns on you always to restore your human tottering acrobatics to the here and now. I entered no agreement with anyone to love so abnormally. I love truly, and you will make me love even more than yesterday. You are opposite me and the universe that shares with us every moment the insatiable carnal session that started who knows when. I am not writing to your logic. I am writing to the woman who deluged every single trace of mine with her scent. To her, who can call me from the depths of the unknown pathways of the soul. I am learning of you to the extent I can pull myself away from my dizziness caused by our encounter.

I steal pictures to see in which of them she holds my life. She is worth all that she means for me.

A petty King in an era of machines. People whose misery is more than enough. Day by day I walk in my kingdom. You fly along with me with wings that are unlike those cast of iron. Every moment I embrace you with leaves from my heart. I win a smile of yours but I don’t just stand to take a breath but go for the next which will be bigger. I have my world that I carry along with me and I am opening it to you as if it belonged to you. I do not dare think that you are not worth it.

I can now cast away the veil of modesty and show my desires. I want you to be the first woman of all those I have desired till today.

I am humbled before the majesty of what I am living. There is no unworthy punishment I may not have deserved since I have lived through these unique moments. When I am looking at you I shed all light upon you and your uttermost shadows. This image does not exist, yet it shines on everything around us. We are on another dimension and I shiver at the thought of the return journey. We like the skies. A weird game of destiny; my God, let it not be thus. Within a span of a few hours I just may live near you the disappointment that years ago burnt away a great unfulfilled dream of mine. Till yesterday you were somewhere else. A good moment upset everything. Yet, this is the loving movement of life. Might you have provoked her and now she is laying on you her cold – if she so desires – glance of hers? But weren’t you thanking her a few days ago for what was happening to you? This is the life without rules that we call life. Didn’t I write this down for you? I persevere against her, against this female dictator of men. Always facing her, since when I came to realize my placement in space and time. A hero in a secret but also world war. There is no spectator in this war. There are simply two classes of people. Those who keep on fighting and those who immediately resigned, remaining enslaved by her wishes. I do not belong in the second class. I want to be appreciated by the opponent. There is not other victory. She knows who resist her and fights them but at the same time they may win her grace. I wish for it now in this moment of apocalypse.

In that moment that you lose the ground under your feet. It is time zero. Everything crumbles around me. Whatever it meant for me, has changed. I am a tourist in an exotic world. I start all over again with new company. And everything is so new. I desire to learn of and with you. A student in a school of languages that are by now extinct. A human being filled with love for every one and every thing. A knight in a world of lost values. A protector of the most precious of goods in a world that drowns itself in malice. There is no end in my struggle. There is only the great end.

But in the meantime, I am facing my targets, the dreams and weaknesses.

All these comprise my world. Know this. May I live with you to make you my Queen in it.

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Above everything else today I gaze at the white surface that will force out yet another of my confessions. A juggler on a dangerous act without a safety net. A treacherous and dangerous role, since any error might be fatal. Adrenaline soars, mixed with adulation secreted by all pores in my body. I fly off on a boat into the blue of the sky approaching the maximum speed that is borne out of love. A love absolute. Non-negotiable like a piece of priceless jewelry never to be parted from its owner. Never, even when his own life is at stake, will his survival succumb to the human need. Because the unwritten laws of life always guide whatever valuable exists in the world into a safe haven. Such a safe haven, selected to guard the great secret, is me as well.

Many images of life shine upon those surrounding us. No one can take a snapshot of us since our light will burn the technologically appropriate apparatus. This is nature’s victory over the multi-skilled man. Love is a mirror that upon looking through it, everything loses its meaning. All the vanity that makes up the idol God threatening us at our every step, is felled defeated by the clear, absolute love. Everything changes in this mirror and so do I.

Every moment that I push the thought of you away, I am defeated. You are such a small part of my life, but from the moment you entered it, you are everywhere and at every moment you compete with everything else that demands attention. And you win over. How many victories have you thus achieved? How many souls have you taken? Who is the keeper of the documentary of your life? I would give everything to possess it, to watch it. To be able to answer a critical question in vain.

Whatever you are, you are everything for me. Simple logic that is usually absent during the great moments of people. Let me see just how much life has benefited me.

I am enslaved and this cannot change so that I wish to know who she that has locked me in myself, is. What is she who has taken me by storm in just a day? I want to know to save myself. I know that this slavery does not seek freedom. The punishment for the souls that get to know the great truth can be nothing but this. Yet I want to know. I want you to be the Princess that I see. I want you to be the select, as I have always dreamt of.

Just like the momentary dazzle from intense light in the midst of thick darkness, the bad thought crosses my mind. No, this will not become life; this smile that enslaved me must continue to exist so that everyone, even those miserable, cruel-hearted, vain people, shall rejoice in its sight. Thus, there may still be hope that more souls can be saved.

You just can’t love me as I do. You just can’t see the blood running in imperceptible speed through the vessels of by body when you approach me.

You can’t imagine how many sheets of paper I need to lay down all the cries of my soul in a language humans communicate in. You do not know how much power dangerously amasses itself every time I find myself under the dark sky at night. Because it is then that I humanly cry out to the Universe a great ‘why?’

I am looking for the culprit amongst those who have aided me. I have still saved a small reserve of strength just to exhaust every possibility to understand that we have all fallen victims of a tasteless ruse by him who plays with people. The important element in the field of battle I am searching for is only the prowess of the soul. I am full of energy borne out of love. I keep a secret contract in me that wants me to be victorious even if dead.

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The sea awaits the sun her lover always there. The sparkle of its rays on it is magnificent. They have been locked in this erotic embrace for centuries on days like this. I keep driving, enchanted by this image that is not unknown to me but that always mesmerizes me as if I am watching it for the first time. It is a bright image, the magnificence of nature. How many times can you too, one of nature’s creatures, encounter such magnificence?

Not many, for sure. How much intensity can silence have? I discover my loneliness through my heart beats that relentlessly count the seconds that I am not thinking of you. An unknown instinct has forbidden the course of life without your presence. I am ashamed because I seek work. I want to escape from what has happened to me that changed my life. I struggle to speak to my soul that cannot listen to me. What greater storming can be had after this? I reach upon the world’s greatest and holiest of secrets. To belong to someone else. To depend your being on a foreign body. To expect endlessly. To gaze afar without focusing on anything. To move aimlessly, waiting for one of its signals. You discover imprisonment during an undeclared war. Wishing that you will be treated magnanimously by the adversary. And you are tantalized in your efforts to cast away your own desire. But your needs are so numerous. You sink yourself into the chaos of your desires for the moments just lived, wishing you could live them over again. You know there is nothing you can do.