Alex Muller the Crazy Chick

The Beginning

CHAPTER ONE

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It's Monday. Name one person that actually enjoys this day, because I sure don't. Why not start school on a Tuesday and make everyone happy in the process? Stupid morons.

Whatever. . . and yeah - I'm Alex.

And no . . . I'm not a boy, even though it might sound like it. I just prefer it over my real name that I'm not even going to name because it sucks like hell-

Just so you know.

Life was pretty easy right now, meaning that people kept out of my way and that I did my schoolwork. I know what you're thinking - Why schoolwork? That's so lame-ass! But answer me this if you thought that - how else was I going to get rich one day? Not by working in a diner or at a bike shop.

I was just minding my own business, like always, sitting under the tree that the dogs usually use as a toilet, but who cares? I just didn't sit too close to it normally. And no, it's not like I'm some kind of outcast. It's just that most people that go to this incredibly expensive school are really stupid-

Like moronic stupid.

Enough about that-

But this day - the absolute first day of school at the total beginning of the year - he walked over to me. And by he I mean the he. The boy that I avoided at all costs because he was star captain, nicely muscular in all the right places (not like I was perving in any way), and extremely tall.

Sounds like a dream, doesn't it?

But that was the thing - he wasn't a dream. Not to my standards anyway.

He treated girls like dirt - fault number one.

He humped and dumped - fault number two.

And the list just goes on and on and on until you really don't know how many fingers you have anymore.

He came and sat next to me like it was just one of those normal things to do. He sat there with his arms stretched behind his head, muscles a-popping, and his back against the tree. I didn't tell him there was dog pee against that same old tree.

He let out a little grunt as he got comfy, golden hair flopping over his forehead in little tufts as he closed his eyes, lips small and red in the patches of sunlight sifting through the foliage of the tree above us.

He sat there as if it was as ordinary and everyday as asking Santa for the moon as a Christmas gift.

Yeah, like that was nothing by the stinking looks the school cheerleaders threw me. I was supposed to be dead right now. I sighed as I rolled my eyes and knocked my head against the tree, not remembering that yes, there still is pee against this damned tree.

Weirdoes.

I really didn't ask for this to happen to me today, because I knew they were going to get at me for just something as pointless as this. Some people just don't have something better to do than giving a girl a wet willie in a stinking toilet bowl.

Not like that ever happened to me . . . nope, popping the p all the way to China.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. I was supposed to be absolutely overjoyed by the mere thought of him even looking at me, blah-die-blah-BLAH, but I wasn't. I was actually the last person in the whole world or planet that wanted to be bothered by some ego filled hunk that just couldn't stop smirking or thinking just oh-so-much about himself.

I'm just not some girl with perfect blonde hair, and I don't have anything against blondes, because I'm one myself. I'm just sick of people just bothering me all day when all I want is f*****g peace.

So this is me - in all my glory. My name's Alex Muller, like Muller with a u. Let's sum me up: sarcastic, crazy b***h that has a few screws loose after her dad died. Yep, that's pretty much it.

Oh, and yes-

I was just one of those people that had an ugly temper that just didn't want to be bothered. I wanted to be left alone so I could write and write and write until my fingers fell off. And don't forget this - I am crazy. Just a little well-known fact about me that I don't bother myself over anymore.

I was really trying to ignore John. But it wasn't all that easy, because he just . . . he just had this aura around him that made you want to get to know him, he had this smell – I don't even know how to describe it – that made you want to huddle close and just breathe it in like . . . well like air. I pinched the bridge of my nose as I ignored him, my pen clutched tightly in my right hand, not writing a single word at all.

He was just too unnerving, even though he hadn't even said anything. I really wanted to write down in my leather binder, but my brain just didn't want to cooperate in any way, like it was going Intruder Alert!

Let me get back to explaining why I write.

One – I just find it fascinating.

Let me tell you, there are a lot of things you could see every day at high school that was actually extremely fascinating - like how the top jocks shimmied up to the hot girls that paraded around like they owned the place, and the cheerleaders just mentally played mind-games with the girls that dared stand up to them. It was pretty good writing material, but actually sick, to be honest.

But it paid, and it paid well, otherwise I wouldn't be writing it down every second of my day. Because believe me - I actually do have other things to do other than write like a rabid type machine.

And another thing-

It made me look like I was always busy, and that I had a life . . . which I seriously doubt, because my idea of a fun night out was riding my trusty skateboard to the supermarket and coming back with two bags of Doritos chips, a tub of lemon-flavoured ice cream, and a pack of oreos.

Not normal for a kid my age. Or maybe. I don't know. Do nerds like doing this kind of this? I have no idea.

Let's just say I was one of those people that just couldn't be bothered to even look jerks like John in the eye, because I knew they just did it to boost their already huge egos. I just don't get why people even bother with that stuff because you're not going to be remembered by how big your boobs were in high school or who threw the wildest party of the year-

Which were always thrown by this Greener kid that had all the contacts. I mean this kid could buy weed and beer without any questions asked. I've never been asked to one of his 'notorious parties', but you always heard rumours about naked dancing and skinny dipping into a pool filled with water mixed with vomit. Well maybe I made that last bit up... Whatever. I'm just trying to make a point here, shut up.

People at this school tended to get a little crazy, and you had to watch your back if you wanted to survive.

This was one cruel place if you didn't know how to grow a backbone for yourself, or a - you didn't know how to run away and hide in a little closet, or b - you have anger management problems, like me. I haven't quite figured out what c is yet, but I know it involves vodka and a whole lot of people throwing up and waking up the next day with a dude in bed.

Not a nice image at all.

I was actually really lucky in the fact that said I was un-classed. That basically meant that I was generally left alone to do what the hell I wanted and people would still think I was weird and kind of crazy. I didn't have to follow any rules because I didn't fit in anywhere. I have this theory that the people who call people like me crazy are actually the ones that need mental help the most-

Just saying-

Not like I took a course in psychological health once-

Which I didn't. I totally didn't... I promise. Yeah, yeah back to the story.

I sigh deeply as I tell you that John still hadn't moved, much to my amusement, because everyone was supposed to be scared of me, like literally everyone. I think my crazy hair or extremely shitty attitude might be the reason everyone is . . . but I can't really tell. I'm just nuts!! My brain was turning and spinning as I tried to think what he might want from me, or what compelled him to lean against that damned tree. I really don't know.

And I'm telling you, he totally destroyed my thinking zone. I could even smell him from here, that overpowering scent pulling me in all the way. What was that smell anyway? Vanilla? Wood? Pinecones? Sandpaper?

My brain tried to decipher the millions of possibilities, but I couldn't figure it out.

My eyes snapped to that smirking face as if someone had just thrown me with a bucket of ice-water. I just couldn't withstand giving this boy a piece of my mind for sitting so disturbingly close and just being there like he was the prince or something.

It was an understatement to say I was shocked and angry. He didn't have the right to come sit here and make as if this was nothing, breathing up all my air, putting pressure on everything.

"What do you want?" I glared at him. He grinned lazily back at me, shooting me with his death-ray smile that worked on a lot of people . . . just a lot of people that weren't me-

I can say this guy was good. He knew how to play it down so well and seem like he didn't even know what the heck you were talking about, throwing that smile around like it was free. "Want? What the hell are you talking about?"

I didn't blame those other girls as he looked down at me with those electric blue eyes that looked like he could hypnotise a girl within two seconds. I was under his influence in a mere 0.00001 seconds. I'm not even kidding, and it's not funny.

My eyes roamed his strong shoulders that bulged and flexed with muscles every time he moved in that I-am-worth-more-than-a-million-bucks way. He walked with a swagger to his step, a manly sway to his hips, and that confidence that came with too many girls telling you that you were hot.

Oh, and they did and they still do. It kind of makes you want to throw up every time you have to enter the girls' bathrooms and his name is all you hear.

My skin crawled, but I kept on glaring, because clearly he was just here for something. I mean, come on! This boy knew how to charm the pants of a girl by just looking at them with that weird glint in his eye.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." I said.

"Is that so?" He asked me, his eyes in little slits as they stared at me. "You're Allison? Right? That is your name, right?"

Wrong answer, moron. I wanted to say. My name's actually Alex, by the way. Nice to meet you! Not.

Oh, fugging hell! That was the worst thing in the history names he could have called me. Now I totally knew he was here just for something. I could even smell it. I gave him a look that completely told him his arrival was not appreciated, in other words - fᴜck off.

"No," I didn't even smile at him, I gave him the stink eye. "Nice to meet you by the way, Jack." I smiled inside of myself as I completely continued to ignore the shιt out of him. Out of the corner of my eye I could see his confident smile fall just that little bit because he could see I was going to be a tough one to impress if, and that can be in a hundred billion years, that ever happened. "Now leave. I don't wanna talk right now."

"No, that's not my name. I'm John by the way. You've probably seen me around, or heard about me. Or heard about my talents." He said while flexing his arms a little. He cleared his throat again, trying to get my attention as I continued scribbling uselessly away in my notebook, drawing a few death and torture traps, jabbing the paper with my pen. "So . . . what do they call you then, Cutie?"

Cringe.

I didn't get why this guy couldn't understand that he wasn't needed here? Was his brain that small? I didn't' want his huge ego next to me. And he stank like a little too much Axe if you ask me.

In general, people stereotype all jocks as dumb. I do hate stereotypes, I do, but at my school I have to agree with that one, because all off the hunks that play on our football team. And I kinda get that because they spend alot of their time exercising and that's all fine and dandy. I just don't want to get mixed up with them because I can't really relate at all.

You do you and I'll do what I like.

"Wouldn't you like to know." I replied sarcastically, not really caring.

I wasn't enjoying his attention. I didn't need it. I didn't want it. He could go give it away free to someone else for all I cared. "And didn't I just tell you to go away? I mean, seriously? I'm a busy person?"

I could smell he wanted something. People like John don't just bother people for n reason. Maybe he wanted me to help him study or something? Idk.

"Hell no! I just wanna chat and sh*t " He was flexing again, his shirt was a size too small so you could see everything. Not like I was looking or anything. He caught my stare and grinned. "Now why don't I ever see you smile? You've got a pretty face."

Oh my God.

I almost died from the cringe.

I was silent, trying hard not to flip out and b*tch slap him the f*ck away.

I knew he was doing this to get something from me, what was it? Help with math? It actually wasn't the first time I had been harassed into doing someone's' homework. But it was chill because I counted it as charity work.

"You don't talk much." He said, and I snapped out of my trance again. I had to look at his stupid face as he talked, but I didn't want to, because then I was going to get distracted. He had really confident eyes. You know the kind that's very self-assured and knows what he wants in life.

"Yes." I answered as shortly as I could, without seeming too awkward. I was just too weird and crazy for my own good, just the way I liked it. I liked myself this way. It was easier to deal with.

"You don't have a lot of friends do you." He said in his deep voice and flipped his sun streaked golden hair out of his eyes, "Why?

"Because." I said and tried to concentrate on my book. Lunch time break was running out and I wanted to finish this chapter so I could maybe send it off this evening. I was wasting so much time and it was getting on my nerves.

An ant was crawling up my leg and I crushed it out of frustration.

"What are you writing?" He said, his voice almost slowing down in a drawl as he leaned closer to peek over my shoulder. I could smell him and it was so strong I swear I got a little light-headed.

I scooted away a few inches. He moved closer again. "C'mon I just want to see. Not like I'm going to laugh or anything. You writing yaoi?"

I snorted out loud.

"How the hell do you even know what yaoi is?"

He shrugged. "My little sister reads the stuff."

"You have a sister?" I asked, kinda surprised. Break was almost over so I just gave up writing altogether and snapped my book closed.

"Yeah. She's like 14." He drawled, leaning a little too close for comfort. "She's got a whole wall of those books. It kinda creeps me out a little."

"Ok, can you go now?" I decided I had enough. "And what do you want from me? Help with your studies or something? I'm just gonna tell you outright I f*cking suck with math. I'm great at chemistry though."

"Why do you want me to leave so badly anyway?" He didn't answer my question.

"I don't know. You're giving off weird vibes." I said. "Your eyes are shifty. And most people only bother me when they want something. And also I'm busy."

He looked at me like I was a monkey at the zoo.

"You don't look busy." I flapped my writing book in front of his eyes and he laughed. "You need friends."

"What for? And I do have a couple, fyi." I said in frustration. "I am five seconds away from putting my headphones on." I dangled black headphones right in his face, trying to get the message across into his unresponsive brain.

"What would you do if I told you I thought you were hot?"

I snort-laughed in his face. I burst out laughed again, trying not to, but it just burst out. My glasses fell off into my lap I laughed that hard. "You're really funny."

"Okay, that didn't work." He whispered to himself. "What would you do if I told you I want to be your friend?"

I stopped my laughing, straightening my face and propping my glasses on again. "I would run the other way. We have absolutely nothing in common."

He didn't seem amused by my sarcasm.

"Then you better start running, because I have just decided I am your friend." He grinned like a little sh*t. "Congratulations."

Oh f*ck.

This was one heck of a problem.

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This is my first book on Ficfun, so there will be changes and some fine tuning that's going to happen. This book is like a puzzle - you do the edges first, and then you fill in the middle later.

So comment, VOTE, if you liked it!

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