Tennessee Whiskey

Chapter 3-Mary

Chapter 3

Mary

We’re sitting on my bed, against the headboard and my head is on his shoulder. I’m not completely comfortable but after talking to Kathy, I need to try. If not for him, for me. “I remember being little and hiding in my closet so mom’s boyfriends wouldn’t find me. I didn’t want them to know I was there.” I tell him and he stays quiet. He just lets me talk. “She had one boyfriend that wasn’t so bad. I was, maybe nine, I think, and he pretty much lived with us. He was a junkie too, but he would make sure I ate when mom would pass out. When they would use, he would tell me to stay in my room, so I didn’t see it. He never hurt me.” I tell him. I feel him lace his fingers with mine. “No one will ever hurt you again.” He says softly. “Why are you spending time with me?” I ask softly. He leans his head against mine and says “I see Logan and Ashton and how happy they are with Lori and Izzy, and I want that. All I’ve ever wanted was a family but could never picture it with anyone before.” He tells me. “Do you see that with me?” I ask. “I do.” He tells me. “Evan, you don’t want that with me.” I tell him and go to move but he holds my hand tighter to keep me from pulling away completely. “Why don’t I?” he asks, looking at me and I can’t look directly at him. “You need someone who’s…who’s…” I start and he asks “Who’s what, sweetheart? Tell me what’s going through your head.” I shake my head and say, “Someone who’s not so messed up.” I say, defeatedly. “Baby, come here.” He says and I move back beside him. “You are perfect. Come with me.” He tells me and we both stand up.

He pulls me to the mirror and moves me to face it, but I can’t look at myself. He stands behind me and his hands move to lace his fingers with mine, with both hands. “Look at the mirror please.” He whispers. I look up at the mirror and see myself with him behind me. “Do you see that woman looking back her you?” he asks, and I nod my head yes. “That woman there? She saved herself. She decided she was done living in her own personal hell and left. She didn’t wait for someone to come and do it for her. That woman is a warrior. My warrior.” He tells me and I feel the tears falling down my face. “I saved myself.” I whisper. “You did. You saved yourself and I will forever be indebted to you for that.” He tells me and I turn to face him and hug him. I feel him wrap his arms around me and he holds me close like he’s scared to let me go.

We move back to the bed, and he pulls his laptop out of his bag, and he pulls up Netflix. We choose a movie and I lay my head on his shoulder again. He kisses the top of my head again while we watch Labyrinth because I said I hadn’t seen it before. “I still can’t believe you haven’t seen this movie. I’ve seen it a million times.” He tells me. “I didn’t get to watch a lot of movies.” I tell him. “Then we have a lot of making up to do.” He tells me.

After the movie, he puts on another movie, and we just talk. “When did you start drawing?” he asks. “Mom’s ex I was telling you about. He saw me drawing on a piece of paper one day and told me I needed better pencils and some sketch books. He bought me a few and told me to keep them hid so mom wouldn’t find them.” I tell him. “What about you?” I ask. “It was sort of an escape for me. We had this teacher in middle school that taught art, and I took the class just because I thought it would be an easy class but turns out I really enjoyed it.” He tells me. “Would you like to see mine?” I ask, shyly. “If you’re okay with it, I’d love to.” He tells me. I get off the bed and head to the dresser where I keep my things and bring out one of my sketch books. I hesitate for a second and he tells me “Only if you want me to see.” I take a deep breath and bring the book to him. It’s the book that has the sketch of him in it and the sketches of my happy place that I finally have the colors to bring to life.

I move back to the bed and hand him the book. I put my hands in my lap and look down at my hands, playing with my fingers while he’s looking at my drawings. “These are really good. Honey, you have a real talent.” He tells me. “Thank you.” I say and feel the blush creep up from my chest up my neck and to my cheeks. “Wow. Mary. Is this…” he starts to ask. I look at the drawing he’s looking at and it’s of him. “I drew that after you came to take my statement.” I say. He looks at me with a smile and says, “It’s perfect.” He reaches for my hand and brings it to his lips and kisses my knuckles. He turns to the next page and sees my happy place. “I know this place.” He says and I look at him shocked. “You do?” I ask. “Yeah. When things were bad at home, I used to sneak out and hide out there. How do you know about this place?” he asks and he’s tense. “I’m sorry.” I say and start to move but he grabs my hand again. “Baby, no. It’s okay. How do you know about this place?” he asks. “It’s my happy place. Mom took me there when I was little. She only took me there one time. It was the only time I can remember that she was actually trying to get clean. We had a picnic and she pushed me on the tire swing. It was the only time I ever felt happy.” I tell him. “It was mine too.” He tells me.

After we talk a little longer, I start to yawn. He moves to pack his things up and I get up to see him out. “I’ll walk you out front.” I tell him. “I can find my way out. You get changed and get to bed. Logan was telling me they want to have a family weekend. Are you going?” he asks. “I think so. She said something about watching movies and vegging out. I’ve never done that before tonight so it should be fun.” I tell him. “Do you need me to pick you up?” he asks. “Ashton and Izzy are picking me up, but I’ll see you there?” I ask. “Yeah honey. You’ll see me there. Sweet dreams. I put my number in your phone so if you need anything, you call me. I don’t care what time it is.” He tells me. “Evan…” I start. He kisses my cheek and says, “You heard me.” I nod and he lets go of my hand and heads out. I close my door and get ready for bed.

I lay in bed and look at the sketch of the pond with the tire swing. He used to go there too. It’s his happy place too. What are the chances? I wonder if the swing is still there. I look at the next picture and it’s one of Evan. He’s so handsome. So nice. I just hope he doesn’t change his mind about spending time with me.

I put my sketch book down and try to go to sleep. I’m still awake when I hear my phone ping with a text. I look at the screen and see that it’s Evan, where he put his number in my phone.

Goodnight sweetheart.

Can I see you tomorrow?

Goodnight, Evan. I’d love to

see you. Another movie?

Anything you want.

Sweet dreams.

Sweet dreams

I text before putting my phone back on the charger and drifting off to sleep with a smile on my face.

The next morning, I am up and ready for my session with Kathy. “How are you feeling this morning? You look better.” She tells me. “I’m feeling a little better, I think.” I tell her. “Tell me what’s been going on.” She tells me. “I’ve been doing the exercise that you told me, and it’s been tough believing it when I say it, but I’ve been spending time with Izzy and Lori. Evan too.” I tell her. “Really? How’s that going?” she asks. “We’ve been spending time together and getting to know each other. He made me look at myself in the mirror.” I tell her. “Why did he do that?” she asks. “He wanted me to see myself how he sees me.” I tell her and look down at my hands. “How does he see you?” she asks. “As a warrior. His warrior. He made me look at myself while he told me that I was the one that got myself out of the hell that I was in and not anyone else. He told me that I saved myself.” I tell her. “He’s right. You did. You saved yourself. It’s not just me that sees that. We just need you to see that.” She tells me. “I’m starting to. He watched a couple of movies with me last night and brought dinner. We hung out in my dorm for a while. That’s okay, right?” I ask. “Of course. As long as you’re comfortable. That’s all that matters.” She tells me and I release the breath I was holding. “Lori invited me to spend the weekend at her house with her and Logan. Ashton and Izzy will be there with their kids and Evan will be there too.” I tell her. “Are you okay with that?” she asks. “I think so. They keep wanting to include me in things. I have fun with them and don’t think so much about what happened.” I tell her. “That’s good. That means you trust them. You’re comfortable with them.” She tells me and I smile softly. “Now, you and Evan.” She says. “I like him.” I tell her. “I can tell. Does he know you like him?” she asks, and I nod my head yes. “I showed him my sketch book. He saw the drawing I did of him and of my happy place.” I tell her. “What did he say?” she asks. “He loved the one of him. He actually smiled. He knows where my happy place is. Said he used to go there when things were bad for him.” I tell her. “So, your happy place is his too?” she asks and I nod my head yes. “That’s good. You have something important in common.” She tells me and I nod my head in agreement.

After my session, I’m feeling better. I go to my dorm and pick up my phone. I don’t see anything from Evan. I want to text him but he’s probably working, and I don’t want to bother him. I hear a knock on my door and see Lori standing there. “Hey.” I say. “Hey. How are you feeling?” she asks. “I’m okay, I think. Still trying to process everything.” I tell her. She moves further into my room and moves to sit on the bed. I move to sit on the bed too and we sit facing each other like I would picture friends doing. “Want to talk about it?” she asks, and I shake my head no but say “Did Logan tell you what Evan did about my mom?” I ask. “He did. Are you okay with that?” she asks. “Yeah. I mean, this means I won’t be running into her any time soon and I don’t have to keep myself locked up in here to keep from seeing her. I feel a little lighter since he told me.” I tell her. “It’s because it’s one less stress on your shoulders. Trust me. I get it. I went through the same thing with my dad and Jake. Constantly having to look over my shoulder and worrying about if one of them would find me. Logan made sure that wouldn’t happen again. It’s good to have a good man in your corner.” She tells me. “It is. Evan’s a good man. You would think I’d be scared to be around him after what happened but for some reason, I feel safe with him.” I tell her. “Girl, that man wouldn’t let anything happen to you. He’ll make sure you’re safe. Trust me.” She tells me. “I know.” I tell her and smile a little bit. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” She tells me. “What’s that?” I ask. “I’ve been talking to Logan and Izzy about expanding the mission to help young women that come in that are pregnant to make sure they have options and not just making a choice because they don’t think they can do it on their own. It would have social workers working with them to help them find jobs and safe places to live and childcare. Things like that.” She tells me. “That’s amazing. But what does that have to do with me?” I ask. “I’m going to need an assistant. Think you could help me out?” she asks. “Yeah. I mean, it would give me something to do, and I could help people.” I tell her. “Good. So, tomorrow, we’re starting our family weekend, and we can talk more about it next week.” She tells me and I nod my head in agreement. We talk for a little longer before she has to leave.

I’m sitting in the sitting room, on the couch with my art case and my sketch book, drawing. “Hey sweetheart.” I hear and I look up and see Evan standing there. “Hey. What time is it?” I ask. “A little after six. You okay?” he asks. “Yeah. I was just drawing.” I tell him. “Can I see?” he asks. He moves to sit next to me, and I hand him the sketch book. “This is amazing. What made you draw this?” he asks. “I had a session with Kathy today and she gave me another exercise. She had me get a new sketch book to use as sort of a vision board. She wants me to draw the things I want for my future. Like this house. It was a house I saw walking to school one day and I fell in love with the house. I used to imagine what it would be like to have a family and live in a house like this.” I tell him. “You’ll have your family in a house one day.” He tells me and he turns to the next page. It’s of a woman, sitting with an infant in her arms and a small child snuggled into her side. “You want kids?” he asks. I nod my head yes. He tilts my chin up and says, “You will have your family one day.” And I just nod.

“How was your day?” I ask, trying to change the subject. “It was productive. How was yours?” He asks. “It was okay, I think. I had my session with Kathy and then got a visit from Lori.” I tell him. “How’d your visit go?” he asks. “Did you know she has been talking to Izzy about expanding the mission? She wants to do something to help young women that come in that are pregnant.” I say. “Yeah, Ashton said something about it. I think it’s a great idea.” He tells me. I look down at my hands and say, “She wants me to be her assistant.” I tell him. “Are you thinking about it?” he asks. “I told her I’d like to do it. It might help me figure out who I am or who I want to be. Kathy said it’s okay to not really know what I want to do right now. She said I have plenty of time to figure it out.” I tell him. “You do and we will all be here for you. Just take your time but helping her might help you more than you think.” He tells me and I look at him confused. “You’ll be able to keep busy and you will be able to help other girls. The hell you’ve been through. That Lori has been through. You two would be the perfect ones to know what those girls will need.” He tells me. “I didn’t think of that.” I tell him. “You’ll be perfect for it.” He tells me before kissing my temple.

“I was looking at the gift you got me. The art classes. They don’t start for another month. I’m really excited. I just want you to know that.” I tell him. “I’m glad. I’m excited too. I’m actually friends with the professor that teaches the class. He’s been trying to talk me into getting back into drawing for years. Guess I just needed the right muse to get me inspired again.” He tells me and I blush. “I love when you do that.” He says softly. “What?” I ask, confused. “Blush. You’re perfect. You’re the kind of beautiful that doesn’t know just how breathtaking she really is.” He tells me and I lay my head on his shoulder. “So, I was thinking about something.” He says. “What’s that?” I ask. “You seem to be okay being here, alone with me, but I was thinking, when you’re comfortable enough to go places alone with me, would you be interested in going and seeing our happy place?” he asks. “I’d love that.” I say. “Good. I still can’t believe we both used to go there.” He says. “It’s a special place.” I say. “You’re a special woman.” He tells me and I smile softly.

“Are you hungry?” he asks. “A little.” I say. “Do you want to order pizza?” he asks. “Yeah. With pineapples?” I ask. “Woman after my own heart.” He says before he picks up his phone and orders our food. “I can never get the guys to let me get pineapples on our pizza. They hate it.” He says. “I love it.” I tell him as he laces his fingers with mine. He puts his phone on the table next to mine and says, “I can get you a phone on my plan if you want.” He says. “That’s okay. This one is fine. The only people I talk to are you, Lori, and Izzy.” I tell him. “You know I want you to be my girl, right?” He asks. I nod and he says, “That means I’m going to want to spoil you.” He tells me. “You don’t have to do that.” I tell him. “I know. But I want to. Honey, I want us to get to know each other. I want to build a life with you. I want a family with you. I know it’s a lot to take in, but we will do it at your pace. All I ask is that we take things a day at a time.” He tells me. “I think I can handle that.” I tell him. “So, does this mean you’re my girl?” he asks. “It means I’ll think about it.” I tell him. “I can work with that.” He tells me.

After the pizza gets here and we eat, he walks me to my dorm. “I have to meet with Logan and Ashton. Will you be, okay?” he asks. “Yeah. Tell them I said hello.” I say and he nods. He kisses me on the forehead, and I move closer to hug him. He holds me tight and neither of us seem to want to let go. “Get some rest baby. I’ll see you tomorrow at Lori’s.” he says. “See you tomorrow. Be safe please.” I say and he nods. Letting go, he heads towards the door, and I watch him walk away. I see one of the other girls standing at her door and she smiles at me. “He your boyfriend?” she asks. “Something like that. Why?” I ask. “We look out for each other around here. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” She tells me. I smile at her and say “I’m okay. Thank you though. I’m Mary.” I tell her. “Katya. Goodnight Mary.” She says. “Goodnight.” I say before we both retreat into our rooms.