Shades Of Purple

chapter 7- Broken Apologies

Elias

“You know we should go out, drink, and forget this pain,” Kim said. She had been his childhood friend.

Silence stretched between them. Elias had called her two weeks ago, crying uncontrollably, and she had stayed since then, cleaning his wounds, cooking for him, sitting beside him when he woke up shaking.

The hardest part was that he refused to tell her what happened. He would not go to the hospital. He would not report it.

Since that night, he had barely existed. He slept through the day. He cried at night. When he did sleep, he twisted under the sheets, whispering that it hurt, begging someone to stop.

Kim stood and walked over to him, nudging his shoulder gently.

Elias looked up at her. His eyes were swollen and red.

“Let’s go out,” she said softly. “Just for a little while. Clear your head.”

He shook his head immediately. “I can’t.”

“You can.”

“What if…” He swallowed. “What if they’re there?”

Her expression shifted. “They won’t be.”

“You don’t know that.” His fingers tightened around the edge of the couch. Even the thought of stepping outside made his chest tighten.

Kim crouched in front of him. “We won’t go anywhere crowded. Just a quiet place. I’ll stay with you the whole time.”

He glanced toward the door like it was something dangerous.

“You know what?” she said, forcing a playful tone. “I’ll be your knight in shining armor.” She placed her hands on her waist dramatically.

A weak smile tugged at his lips despite himself.

“I look terrible,” he muttered.

She cupped his face gently. “No. You look tired. That’s different. And you are still my fluffy, pretty cat.”

“I’m not a cat,” he whispered.

“You’re my cat,” she replied softly. “Which makes you my favorite person.”

He looked at her for a long moment. Doubt still clouded his eyes. Fear still sat heavy in his chest. But she had been there every single day. She had not pushed him away.

“What if I panic?” he asked quietly.

“Then we leave,” she said without hesitation. “The second you want to.”

He hesitated again. His body still felt fragile. The world still felt unsafe.

“…Okay,” he said finally, voice small. “But not long.”

Kim smiled gently. “Not long.”

He stood slowly, as if testing his own strength. His legs felt weak, but he was standing.

The bar

Kelvin sat at the edge of the counter. It was just as quiet as Elias had once described.

Elias had mentioned in passing that this was his secret place. The quiet atmosphere. The slow love songs playing softly in the background. It felt safe. Like a place where no one asked questions.

“The usual?” the bartender asked, breaking through Kelvin’s thoughts.

“Yes,” Kelvin replied.

“Still haven’t found the one?” the bartender said lightly, handing him a glass of dark whiskey.

Kelvin forced a small smile. “Not yet.”

He stared into the glass.

How long had he been coming here?

Since the night of that incident.

Since he could not erase the look on Elias’ face. The tears. The betrayal. The fragile disbelief.

He had been coming here every night over the last two weeks, hoping by some chance Elias would walk through the door.

He did not know what he would say if that happened.

He just knew he wanted to see him again.

Someone tapped his shoulder.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” a voice said.

Kelvin turned. “Dami?”

“This isn’t our usual spot,” Dami added, glancing around.

“Well, it isn’t. Yet here you are too,” Kelvin replied, his tone controlled but tight. His eyes scanned the room again.

Dami tried to pull him into conversation, but Kelvin’s replies stayed short and cold.

His mind was elsewhere.

He kept remembering Elias in that plain shirt, standing in his apartment with that uncertain look. The way he had leaned in first. The warmth of that kiss.

The memory unsettled him.

Kelvin had not had dreams like this since he was a teenager. Yet lately, every night, Elias found his way into them.

He would wake up breathless, frustrated, his body reacting before his pride could interfere.

He hated that he wanted him.

He hated that he could not stop thinking about him.

The door opened. A woman walked in.

Kelvin’s eyes fell on the familiar figure trailing behind her.

Even in the oversized hoodie, he recognized him.

His gaze sharpened instantly. It did not move.

Elias.

Kelvin’s chest tightened. For a second he forgot to breathe.

Elias looked smaller than he remembered. Guarded. His shoulders slightly hunched, his hands tucked into the sleeves of his hoodie. He followed the woman closely.

Kim.

Kelvin watched the way she stayed near him. The way her hand brushed his arm as they walked toward a table.

His stomach twisted.

The way she leaned closer to say something. The way her eyes lingered on Elias with concern.

Kelvin did not like it.

He did not understand why he did not like it.

This feeling.

What was this sharp pull in his chest?

Elias sat down. He scanned the room slowly, carefully.

Then his eyes landed on Kelvin.

Everything stilled.

For a brief second, shock flickered across Elias’ face. Then something else. Fear. Conflict.

Elias stood halfway, as if unsure whether to leave.

Kelvin’s gaze never left him.

Elias gave the smallest nod. A silent reassurance to Kim that he was fine.

He was not fine.

Kelvin could see it in the way his fingers trembled against the table.

Kelvin felt something heavy settle in his gut.

He stood abruptly.

“I need the restroom,” he told Dami without looking at him.

Dami frowned. “You just got here.”

“I’ll be back.”

But Kelvin did not head toward the restroom.

His steps slowed as he moved past their table.

Close enough to hear their breathing.

Close enough to see the faint shadows under Elias’ eyes.

Close enough to realize that the fragile look he could not forget was still there.

And now, it was looking directly at him.

The restroom was quiet. Only the sound of running water filled the space.

Elias stood at the sink, staring at his reflection. His hands trembled slightly under the tap. He rubbed them longer than necessary, as if he could wash something off that was not there.

The door creaked open behind him.

Footsteps.

He ignored it at first.

Then a voice.

“Hey.”

Panic gripped him instantly.

He knew that voice.

His body froze. The water kept running, spilling over his fingers while his mind went blank.

Slowly, he lifted his eyes to the mirror.

Kelvin stood at the doorway, watching him.

Their eyes met through the reflection.

Elias’ chest tightened. His breathing turned shallow. He could not move.

Kelvin stepped inside, letting the door swing shut behind him. He stayed there for a second, studying Elias. Taking in the pale skin, the dark circles, the way his shoulders tensed.

The restroom fell silent as the last person walked out.

Kelvin waited until the door clicked closed.

Then he moved.

Elias turned off the tap quickly and stepped back, but Kelvin was already close.

“Relax,” Kelvin said quietly.

Elias shook his head. “Don’t.”

His voice came out weak.

Kelvin’s jaw tightened. He reached for Elias’ wrist.

The contact made Elias flinch.

“Kelvin, don’t,” he repeated, panic rising in his throat.

But Kelvin was stronger. He guided him firmly down the narrow aisle and pushed open the door of an empty stall.

The door shut behind them with a sharp click.

The small space felt suffocating.

Elias’ back hit the wall. His breathing grew uneven, his hands coming up instinctively between them.

Kelvin stood close. Too close.

For a moment, neither of them spoke.

Only the sound of Elias trying to breathe.

“I’ve been trying to reach you,” Kelvin whispered.

Elias flinched each time Kelvin’s fingers brushed his wrist.

“Eli… did you block me?”

Elias’ blood ran cold.

His throat tightened. Was this a trauma response? Why couldn’t he move? Why couldn’t he speak?

He tried to answer, but no words came out. His hands shook subtly at his sides.

“Shhh,” Kelvin murmured. “You don’t want them hearing us.”

The small stall felt suffocating.

“Please… let me go,” Elias whispered, his voice breaking.

The fear in his eyes did something to Kelvin. Something dark and impulsive that he did not stop.

Elias’ breathing grew uneven. He pressed back against the wall as if trying to disappear into it.

“I didn’t mean for things to go that way,” Kelvin said, but his tone lacked clarity, lacked control.

Elias’ tears slipped silently down his face.

In that tight space, something worse broke between them.

Minutes later, the stall door opened.

Kelvin walked out first, fastening his belt, his expression blank as if nothing had happened.

He splashed water on his face, avoiding his own reflection.

When he stepped back into the bar, Dami looked up.

“You okay, man?”

“Ye… yeah,” Kelvin replied quickly. “We just need to get out of here.”

He grabbed Dami’s arm and pulled him toward the exit without another glance back.

That night, Kelvin could not sleep.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Elias on the restroom floor, curled in on himself, trembling.

The way he flinched replayed over and over in his head.

Kelvin had walked in intending to apologize.

Instead, he had made everything worse.

And now the image would not leave him.