Chapter 4.
848 Words
Chanbee handled difficult circumstances. It served as her coping strategy. She had to get moving. Thus, she did not pursue her after letting her child go. More than anything else, she knew that Chanbee needed distance at this very moment.
Room to empty her heart and head of all the hurt and rage she was experiencing.
Chanbee ran even though she had no idea where she was going. Tears rolled down her nose as she ran blindly. ran more forcefully. ran more quickly.
After forcing her way past the compound gate, she emerged into the open field. She sprinted over the field and into the woodland, her feet banging on the ground. She had to leave. She had to sprint as quickly as far as she could.
Her main objective, her only means of functioning, was to escape.
The coolness of the grass beneath her paws relieved the intense heat coursing through her body. Every step she made was shattering her heart more and more. She could not stop thinking about Steve and Paulina. Pictures she preferred not to view. visions of her future without him, of their new destiny. visions of her living alone, unmarried. visions of rejection and heartache.
She had to get to the wilderness, she had to escape from everything and everyone. particularly the recent festivities taking place in the community hall. A party that she was no longer invited to. A joy that rightfully belonged to her. A joyous occasion that was breaking her heart.
As soon as she got to the jungle, she picked her speed. Her paws felt rough on the soil. She was too familiar with this route. When she needed time to herself or to contemplate, that was her go-to route. She looked as pale as the back of her hand. Shé ran faster and faster till her lungs hurt as she whizzed past branches and ducked under trees. Her legs hurt and felt like they may buckle.
She felt compelled to run, a need to get away.
She had to leave the property as far as she could, as far as she could drag the pack that she could no longer bear to look at. A pack that was blind to her suffering.
A group of indifferent dogs.
Her mum would sympathise. Chanbee's mother had anticipated that she would act in this manner. It was how she dealt with life, running wild. She experienced freedom and life. It allowed her to organise her ideas and free her mind. But not right now. The reason for today's run was disappointment and grief rather than enjoyment. Anguish and treachery. With each step she took, pain burned into her heart. The farther she walked away from the facility, the more intense her sadness became. She was still thinking in disbelief.
Although the path was lengthy, she was too familiar with it. She was familiar with every curve and had run it a million times. This route took her to the one location she felt secure in at all times. It took her straight to Grandma Whitney. Her compass and source of support. The only person who could really relate to her situation.
Chanbee ran for a long time, it seemed. Visions flooded her consciousness.
Running was normally how she was able to get her thoughts straight, but not today. Today was a barrage of ideas and escalating anxiety. Fear of being left behind. dread of being turned down.
fear of losing one's sense of belonging. The only person she had ever loved was Steve. And now he had vanished. captured in a single glance. taken in full view of the group. taken by Paulina, her classmate and purported best friend.
Chanbee went to get a drink of water from the creek. Before she could get to her Grandma Whitney, she needed some time to settle down. She could then completely collapse.
And the only person who could reunite her was Grandsa Whitney. Everything was fixable by Grandma Whitney.
Gazing at her reflection in the stream, she looked. An image she was well familiar with. The wolf with an auburn coat that was staring back at her appeared worn out and vacant. Chanbee sat by the stream for a long, gathering her thoughts. The wolf's eyes were an empty abyss of black, holding a melancholy she had never seen before. The wolf was a shell of the vibrant one that usually stared back attres.
She continued to deny that Steve had selected Paulina. Did the past few years not exist? Did he really love her? How could his wolf trick her into going away? Why did not she fit the bill? Why had his wolf not picked her?
An assault of pain and suffering, so many thoughts happening at once.
Chanbee cried beside the brook by herself. Her body shook from the intense sobbing. Now that she refused to mate with Steve, I wondered what would become of her. Now that she was no longer by his side, what would become of her? Was she destined to live a lonely single life?
- Writer
