Humor
1521 Words
“Okay, I need you to limit the movement here, alright?” Reyna ties her blazer around Isaac’s neck to act as a sort of sling for his left arm.
“Ow!”
“I know it hurts, and I’m being as gentle as I can be, trust me.”
“You know, in these cases, normal people say ‘I’m sorry’.” Lucifer says from the drivers seat.
“Why? That would just be me implementing blame on myself for his injury which is not my fault at all.”
“Like I said, ‘normal’ people say that.” Lucifer mumbles slightly as he stops at the red light.
“Are you insinuating that I’m not normal or something?” Reyna looks at Lucifer.
“Well, normal people tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves and you, frankly, do a very, very poor job at that.” Lucifer proceeds to drive. “Naturally everyone displays emotions, not just being an emotionless-”
“Dad?”
“What is it, Pipsqueak?” Lucifer glances at Isaac from the rear view mirror.
“Shut up.”
Lucifer sighs, chuckling lightly as he heeds the words of his son as they arrive at the ER. Reyna gets out with Isaac and Lucifer waits for them. As Reyna makes sure to have Isaac close and guide him to the entrance, Lucifer follows, lost in thought.
“Hello, what’s the problem today?” A nurse comes to greet them with a clipboard in hand.
“Reyna, it hurts.” Isaac looks up at Reyna.
“Oh, he has a distilled humorous seal fracture.” Lucifer says seriously.
Reyna sucks in an annoyed breath as she readjusts her blazer turned sling on Isaac before looking up at the nurse.
“Don’t mind him, he’s an i***t with no knowledge of medical terminology.” Reyna gets up. “He has a Distal Humerus Physeal Fracture. I’d like him to get an x-ray and ultrasound to make sure I didn’t misdiagnose him.”
“Um, well, you’d have to let us determine that, madam.” The nurse smiles politely.
“Jackie, what’s the problem?” ER MD Azrael Mason walks over.
The tall and lean handsome brunette doctor’s cool gaze drifts over the clipboard of what little information the nurse put on the sheet.
“The madam requests the boy gets an x-ray and ultrasound to make sure she didn’t misdiagnose.”
“And the madam in name would be you, correct?” Mason points at Reyna.
“You know I never misdiagnose, Azrael.” Reyna looks up at him.
Lucifer and the nurse exchange a look before looking from Mason to Reyna.
“Um, you two know each other?” Lucifer leans in slightly towards Reyna.
“We were in the same class in med school.” Reyna rolls her eyes. “No big deal.”
“Still the genius, eh?” Mason flicks her forehead. “You were such an annoying brat back then too. A f*****g ten year old in a class with a bunch of twenty to twenty-five year old students.”
“Still bitter, I see.” Reyna pulls out her ER MD badge from her purse and clips it on her dark red uniform shirt. “I may not be in uniform, but I’m on duty at the moment. Now, I requested the boy get an x-ray and ultrasound done. With urgency if you will, he’s had the injury for about two weeks and four days.”
“I’ll see if I can get you a radiologist and someone to get the ultrasound done for you, Dr. Royal.” Mason says sourly as he snatches the clipboard from the nurse and turns towards the double doors leading into the corridors of hospital rooms and away from the waiting room.
Reyna takes Isaac’s shoulder and leads him behind Mason as Lucifer follows suit, sticking close and unsure if he’s allowed to follow too.
“Hey, Reyna? It’s alright if I come too, right?” He taps her shoulder before stowing his hands in his pockets.
“I’d be highly annoyed if you didn’t.” Reyna says dryly.
“Alright, just checking.” Lucifer shrugs. “Cuz I’m getting a lot of stares.”
“You’re mafia, idiot.” Mason says snidely from the head of the group. “It’s obvious you’re being stared at.”
“Really? I had no idea. I assumed it was my good looks.” Lucifer replies sarcastically.
“From the women, perhaps. Females tend to have their attention drawn by flashy displays from men, which in your case, would be your good looks.” Reyna lifts a shoulder. “It’s the most logical explanation aside from the fact that you’re mafia.”
Lucifer smiles coyly as he looks at Reyna, keeping pace with her as Isaac looks around all the rooms they pass by with curiosity.
“Was that a compliment from Miss I-Feel-Nothing?”
“Would you like me to punch you and add you to the reasons why we’re here?”
“Okay, okay, I’ll shut up.”
“Good.”
Isaac couldn’t help but snort before giggling at the banter between Reyna and Lucifer.
“What’s so funny, twerp?”
“It’s funny how you try to get Reyna to like you and she rejects you in the funniest ways possible.” Isaac laughs.
Mason can’t help but pitch in his laughter concealed as non-convincing coughs.
“Oh, ha-ha. You see, I’m trying to have a decent conversation with her but she can’t help but start talking about logic and rationality and who knows what the f**k else.”
“It’s not my fault you fail to comprehend what I speak of.”
“And you just have to insult me too, don’t you?” Lucifer looks at her with an amused glint in his eyes.
“I didn’t realize I was insulting you; I’m merely stating a fact.”
“Don’t worry, Provenza, she’s always been like that. At least, since I’ve known her.”
That gave Lucifer something to think about. If, say, Mason met Reyna when she was ten and this was the exact way she was as well, was there ever a time in her life when she acted so- so unapathetic? When she could display empathy like it is usually common?
“Alright, I’ll send Roberts to get the ultrasound and x-ray done for you.” Mason leads them into a room. “I’m sure you’ll do the identification of the fracture. I’ll be with other patients if you need me- which is highly unlikely.”
“I’m rather resourceful and self-reliant so your help won’t be necessary.” Reyna assures.
She beckons Isaac over as Mason leaves and undoes the makeshift sling.
“Pain on a scale.” Reyna looks at Isaac.
“Uh, well, when I don’t touch it or move it, I’d say a two, but if I touch it or move it, it’s a seven.”
“Lorenzo Roberts, Radiologist, here for an x-ray and ultrasound.” The tall and lean blonde comes in.
His tousled hair and relaxed gait compliment his bored look until his green eyes spot Reyna.
“I believe you’re the doctor?”
“That is correct- I need this ultrasound and x-ray done quickly.”
“Alright, if you two could step out. Kiddo, come on up here and smile so your grin shows on the x-ray.”
Isaac looks up at Reyna as he walks over to Roberts.
“Can I do that?”
“It’ll only be an x-ray of your arm, so it’s fine.” Reyna assures before aiming her gaze at Roberts. “Harm a hair on him, and you’ll haunt this hospital.”
Roberts’ smile drops as his eyes widen and he nods, swallowing. Reyna and Lucifer exit the room to wait outside as Reyna slips on her blazer, fastening the buttons before clipping her ER MD ID badge on it.
“That was a pretty funny threat back there.” Lucifer says quietly before laughing a bit. “You have a way with words, Reyna. You can either make someone afraid of you, get annoyed by you or like you.”
“What did I say that was so funny?”
“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you don’t even realize the underlying humor in some of your phrases at times.”
“Elaborate, if you could.” Reyna faces Lucifer.
“Well, an example would be…. uh, back at the estate! When you claimed you only cared for me because of a paycheck,” Lucifer chuckles. “Oh, man. Do you even try to be funny?”
“Well, at least I’m entertaining to you.” Reyna rolls her eyes.
“No, I’m being serious. Do you know what makes me smile?”
“Facial muscles, Lucifer. They are responsible for allowing your face to smile, frown, contort and whatever else.”
“I was gonna say your dry humor but that works too, I guess.”
- Writer
