Canadian heartbreak (The stars book 1)

17: Pain and fear

 *Zayn*

 I speed into the driveway just as they get ready to load Flynn into the ambulance. I run to his side, grabbing his hand. "Thank you Flynn for saving her. Are you okay ?"

 "I am going to be fine Zayn. I am so sorry that I couldn't protect them both. I thought the fire was an accident, I really didn't think he would do that". He looks at me with tears streaming down his cheeks, squeezing my hand.

 I smile at him. "You did your best Flynn. You saved Kitty's life. You couldn't know. So don't blame yourself. I will get her back no matter what".

 "Thank you Zayn. But I can't stop feeling I should have done something different". He says, looking so ever unhappy when they put him and the gurney into the ambulance.

 I hurry inside to find Kitty in tears, talking to the police. When she sees me she runs over. Throwing myself into my arms. "Zayn, he took her.. Tyler has Athena and he means to kill them both".

 "They will find her, we will find her Kitty. I promise you I won't let him win". I pull her into me, so relieved that she is alive. I can't be angry with Flynn, not when he endangered his own life to save Kitty. No, I owe him everything.

 The police tell us to wait at home. That we can't help anymore and they have every man available out to find them. Kitty has told them everywhere she can imagine him hiding with Athena. But it isn't easy just waiting.

 When the police have left, I reach out to pull Kitty into my arms. "God, I am happy that you are okay, love, if Flynn hadn't saved you... I... I can't even imagine".

 "Don't say that". She pushes me away. "I shouldn't have called Flynn. He should have stayed with Athena, her life is much more important than mine".

 "Flynn did his best and you too". I tell her, pulling her closer. "It will be alright baby, I promise you, they will get her back to us".

 She tries to push me away again, her voice angry, but also very hurt. "You don't know that Zayn… she might already be dead, while she was alone with him, maybe calling for me".

 "I know how you feel darling. But they are doing everything they can. We need to keep up our hope, to keep believing". I say. Actually I feel like rolling up in a corner crying. But I need to stay strong for Kitty, she needs me.

 She shakes her head, hitting my chest with her balled up fists, tears of pain spilling from her eyes. "No you don't know, you have no f*****g idea, you are not a parent".

 I ignore her hitting me. I know she is in distress. Her words hurt far more. "I know I am not. But I love Athena like she was my..".

 "Don't say it Zayn, you are not her father. You will never be her father". She screams and it feels like she just stabbed my heart. I feel myself fighting a sob. I know she is just upset and doesn't really mean it.

 I let go of her, not knowing what to do. My throat closes up with the tears I hold back. I Want to tell her how scared I am. That it feels like a cold clammy hand is holding my heart. That I without a second of hesitation would give my life to have Athena back safely with her mom. "I know".

 "Oh Zayn". She kind of deflates, winding her arms around me, crying into my chest, speaking between sobs. "I am so sorry.. that was so uncalled for. You are a much better father to her than Tyler has ever been".

 I just stand there. Fighting the urge to push her away. I know that it is the pain and fear speaking. Both mine and hers. But I can't lift my arms, I can't embrace her right now. "No, as you pointed out, not a father… not her father".

 "Zayn, I am so sorry". She takes my face in her hands, kissing my cheeks and lips softly. "Please, please forgive me. I am just so scared. I didn't mean it. I am so sorry I hurt you like that. You have been nothing but great".

 Feeling I need to get some air I ask her softly. "Is there anything I can get you ? Anything at all that will make you feel a tiny bit better ?"

 "Her blanket, you know the small one she sleeps with. It smells like her. I would like to have that". She says biting her lip and I nod. Gently removing myself from her. Heading for Athena's room to collect the blanket.

 I walk down the hallway, opening the door and walking inside. Snapping around when I hear the door slam behind me. Shocked to see Tyler stand there. His eyes slightly unfocused. "Tyler ? Where is Athena ?"

 He points to her bed and now I see her under the blanket, she looks barely conscious. I can't believe he hid her here all the time. He just grins. "It is too late, soon we will sleep forever".