The Beast Lands

Insecurity or Something More

Madison didn't want to wake up, her body hurt everywhere. Her mate's rough handling and her recovering body was too intense. The urge to urinate was strong, that the idea to roll over and ignore it was not an option, but every time she tried to lift her arms or move her legs, her body protested.

Deciding that she was going to pee the bed if she didn't get help, Madison opened her eyes to see Kevin sleeping next to her with Taylor sleeping with the twins wrapped in his arms on her other side. Kaden and Amon must be doing their duty to the village now that she is back. The bed looked huge, even with all their bodies lying around.

Kevin and Taylor did not return until early morning from patrol duty and she was hesitant to wake them, their sleeping faces made her body relax and her heart to be at peace. Finally, she truly felt at home.

Madison rolled over to Kevin's sleeping form and tried to crawl over him, waking him in the process.

Kevin looked up into Madison's face and saw her beautifully concentrated expression. He could smell her need so he was stumped as to why her naked form was straddling his body. He raised then lowered his arms unsure of what he should do in this situation. He looked around but found no answers.

Kevin's arms reached up to her waist, her face looked down at him, a bit of shock and her mouth in an 'o' shape, his abrupt waking up scared her, almost releasing the urine she was struggling to hold inside. "I'm about to pee everywhere" her small voice stated with a tinge of pain. Kevin instantly got up carrying her in a princess carry to the bathroom where he helped her sit on the toilet as well as helping her get up.

His guilt over her struggling increased. The pained expressions she made as she lifted her arms or moved her legs was unbearable to watch. Looking at her struggling, he vowed to only cherish this female, he would never harm her body again. "Would you like to relax in the shower?" his voice echoed in the bathroom as she nodded and started the water. Madison stayed sitting on the toilet until the tub was filled.

Kevin picked her up and carried her into the tub. His earlier vow ensured that his powerful arms cradled her body. When she was laying in the steaming water with her eyes closed he left the bathroom for her to relax. His troubled eyes found Taylor and the girls up and moving. With his new skill he sent Taylor an image of Madison and her struggle. Taylor's smiling face hesitated at the image in his mind and he felt a pain in his chest. His mate should never feel any kind of pain after lovemaking.

Madison felt embarrassed at how weak her body was, but consoled herself with the fact that she successfully mated with all four of her husbands.

Her smile dropped from her face as she realized that she would be considered a w***e in her world. The love she felt for her husbands was powerful, they completed her in a way she didn't even know she lacked. She didn't feel like a disgusting person. Her thoughts seemed to punish her as much as her body did. 'It was my own selfishness that led to this state,  not my mates. I will tell them we can't do this anymore.' Madison promised herself.

Maybe if the scents mixing was a product of their sperm inside her v****a, she didn't need to copulate with all four at the same time, just in the same twenty four hours...this thought had merit, but they were irrevocably connected now, they would never really need to have s*x together again. Well, unless she found another husband.

"I am not getting any more husbands, my body is hurting too much" she said aloud to the bare bathroom walls, in fact, the thought of intercourse with any of her husbands made her body shudder, but not with excitement, with discomfort.

As the water cooled Madison heard her precious daughters and their daddies making breakfast.

"Kevin or Taylor!" She called out, she still needed someone to help her out of the tub and dress her!

Taylor walked in, seeing his beautiful mates flushed face. He reached down and kissed her lips, his tongue hesitating as he entered her mouth, her taste spreading over him. Not wanting to end the kiss, but knowing her body couldn't handle any more, he grabbed a towel and dried off her voluptuous curves, paying special attention to her breasts with his lips. Madison moved away from his touch as she felt uneasy with his advances.

He could see marks on her beautiful skin, their nips and sucking left bruises on her pale flesh, their love bites were not painful for her, though they did stand out prominently. After her body was dried Kevin entered with leather pants and a red shirt that she had dyed using pomegranates. The females of this village were really good at dying their wool and cotton; before her abduction Madison was learning the trait from several of the older ladies. The girls' clothes were becoming more colorful and the stitching was better the more Madison practiced. 'I bet my handiwork will be rough again, I need to practice more'

Madison left the bathroom as Taylor cleaned up, sadly the men had not been doing the laundry while Madison was gone, and they were in desperate need.

"Madison, wife..." Taylor brought out the dirty clothes and cloth diapers and looked at her with a pleading look.

"Hahahahaha...so this is what I will be doing this morning" Madison looked at the cloth diapers, thank goodness they at least rinsed out the mess! She didn't know if she should cry or laugh, but considering her mates cared and loved on her babies while she was gone, she didn't care if she had to wash every item in the house, anything here was better than being gone. "Kevin, do you mind playing with the girls while I clean these?" Madison asked with a huge bite of eggs in her mouth. The girls saw their mom stuffing her mouth, and they followed suit until the three females all looked like chipmunks.

Taylor and Kevin looked at their stuffed cheeks and both looked on the verge of laughing. Taylor's look turned soft, he had missed his mate so much, he still felt like it was a dream of her being back. The fear would not go away anytime soon.

The family was enjoying their breakfast, making plans for the day, when Madison remembered she needed to make her tea! It has been weeks since she drank it. She got up to collect the variety of leaves and heat water to steep the tea. While her hands were busy, Taylor watched her, not sure if he should tell her what Andy said. "I need to meet with Andy today too," Madison told the room.

"We bumped into him yesterday on our way for patrol duty" Taylor responded, hoping she would mention the reason for needing to see him and to finally tell her mates about the tea.

Madison stood at the counter, waiting for the water to boil. "I'm almost out of my herbs, I'll go see him today" she still had a few days worth, but it wouldn't hurt to get some now. Madison was looking down at her toes so she didn't see Taylor trying to catch her attention.

"Andy mentioned something about tea yesterday...but, he said it may not be safe to drink it...he probably wants to make sure you are healthy after the snake beastman's attack" Kevin broached the topic, hoping that Madison would explain the need for the tea-he could sense the level of pain coming from her other mates after Taylor shared Andy's comment yesterday. Kevin didn't know why the mates were acting so strongly regarding this issue, giving birth had caused countless deaths in his tribe, if Madison had a way to monitor this, then he would like to learn the herbs to send back to his family.

It was an odd atmosphere, one that Madison did not mean to create by keeping the tea's purpose a secret. Since it was not a secret, Madison didn't mind telling her mates, they never asked before. She looked up at their expectant faces and realized Andy had already told them, but they wanted to hear her say the reason for it...as if she purposefully lied to them.

"Oh, that makes sense, it has been weeks since I drank the tea and we mated yesterday. He probably wants to make sure I am not pregnant first" she said with a nonchalant attitude. She noticed their shoulders relaxed a bit, the idea that she would purposely keep something from them hurt her feelings-but Taylor's eyes and the pain she saw within them damaged her. He had suffered so much when she was gone, and now he is suffering again. 'How many times will my ignorance cause them to suffer?'

Did he trust her so little? When did she ever act in a way that would harm her family? Madison kept quiet as these thoughts plagued her mind. Without saying anything more, she took the dirty clothes and lye soap to the river, leaving the undrunk tea on the counter.  It took her two trips to bring all the dirty clothes outside, she didn't see any other women cleaning, which suited her mood.

Madison contemplated her months of living in this new world. She wasn't judgemental of their lives, she accepted it with open arms. She even enjoyed the heat haze of coming here. She loved each new encounter with her husband. She just wasn't prepared to give birth again so soon after her daughters. Yes, the residents were not flourishing and their females were not producing as many children, but Madison's body couldn't handle giving birth so much. Her thoughts kept circling back to trust.

When did she lose their trust?

She was in the basin part of the river, sitting in the water, to late she realized that with her absentmindedness she did not change her clothes, the leather pants were making it hard to move, scraping her sensitive legs and stomach, she grabbed one item with lye and scrubbed it against the rock, then rinsed it, repeated the action until the stains were out then putting the washed clothes in a large wicker basket until full then she walked over to the line to dry them. She repeated this action over and over again as her legs chafed from the wet leather scraping until her skin was raw and her hands were openly bleeding from the lye. Usually the women wore cotton shirts as they did the laundry, laughing and playing in the water. The work was minimal and easy, a time to enjoy each other. Today her uncomfortable clothes, self loathing, and the pain made her mood plummet further.

Her actions were not caused from self awareness, but from lack of. Her mind played over the last sixteen months or so, trying to find when her actions and how her actions hurt Taylor and possibly her other husbands.

She had never been in a real relationship before coming here. Her only example of family was from her own mother and father, who put trust above all else. If you could not trust your spouse, then you could not truly love them either...Madison felt tears stream down her face as she realized that her first mate, her first husband did not trust her, so how could he love her? Madison fell into the abyss of depression-something she had experienced in her other life. This world didn't have the professional resources and her friends were not here with her, those reliable people who could keep some of the anxiety away, but never all of it.

Since moving here her body expelled all of the pollution and carcinogens, her migraines were also a thing of the past. So many good things, especially her beautiful daughters and husbands.

Madison stood up from the water, the last load ready to hang. When she was done, she looked over at the garden, lush with ripe vegetables. Grabbing the garden basket she set out to pluck the ready to eat morsels, eating some as she put the others in the basket. Soon the basket was spilling over, not ready to go in, but not able to pick anymore food, Madison took the basket to the back door so she could bring it in later. She could hear the girls playing inside, their laughter that so often brought a smile to her face made her chest hurt instead.

Madison looked down at her hands, the cuts had stopped bleeding but the pain worsened whenever she moved.

'I helped with indoor plumbing...so I should be able to make a wash basin...something that I can swirl to wash the clothes for me...' With those thoughts, Madison decided to seek out some help. She would need paper and graphite to draw what she was imagining, then she could get the wood, wooden nails, and sow to make it.

Madison walked around the village, her goal was to find the family that made the paper and graphite. She had some vegetables to barter with.

Several of the unmated males watched her, it was unusual for a female to be alone, even within the safety of the village.

The lye soap hid much of her scent, but not her overpowering smell of abject desolation that wafted from her in waves.