Book IV: Desensitization
We’ve been together for a while now. Jessica is still everything to me, but there is distance. Sylvia has gotten worse. She mouths strange antonyms, angers with herself, avoids touches and showers and human gazes. I sleep next to Jessica every night and I think. I think of The Two Brothers lying in wait, ready to attack again when God fails them as he fails them all. We still go to church. I’ve become something of a revered son in the church even though I have not accepted the Lord as my savior. There will be no saving me. I guarantee you that. I’m lying here now and Jessica wraps her arm around my waist and I wish things were different. Our s*x has become dispassionate and a terrible reminder of effervescent libido. Sometimes I don’t know what comes over me. Perh
