My Married Mate

The Beach

(Rose's POV)

Soft light invading the room through the curtains gently caressed my face waking me up.  I slowly opened my eyes and looked over to my daughter's bed. She was sprawled out on her bed. She was still asleep, thank goodness. I still had time to get up and make breakfast before I had to start chasing a three year old around all day. Aubrey was a very energetic little girl. Sometimes it felt like I would never catch a break, but I tried to stay thankful. I was honestly surprised that she was still asleep, but then again yesterday was a big day for her. We have been on vacation in Florida. Yesterday we decided to go Disney World and Aubrey got to see all her favorite Disney characters. I made a mental note to not go to a crowded place ever again with a three year old. Well, I would at least need another adult with me next time. Every time Aubrey saw something she liked, she would take off running. My legs had never been this sore from chasing a child. I was surprised that I was even awake before Aubrey. What time was it anyways? I looked over to the nightstand and grabbed my phone. The screen lit up and my eyes widen with shock. It was 10:20 am. I never sleep this late and Aubrey especially never sleeps past 9:30. I jumped up to check on Aubrey to make sure she was okay. I put my hand on her back and her slow breathing calmed down all the fears that had just rapidly ran through my mind. I got up and headed to the kitchen to make a quick breakfast for the both of us. I went back into the room to find that my sleeping beauty was no longer sleeping. I looked around and saw that the bathroom door was cracked open. I walked in the bathroom and found a very blue Aubrey. She had gotten into my eyeshadow already and had it all over her face. I rolled my eyes and picked her up. "Come on sweet girl. Let me get you cleaned up and then we'll go eat some breakfast." Aubrey could speak exceptionally well for a three year old. Well, that is compared to the other three year old's in her daycare. "I wanted to be pretty like Mommy." My heart swelled with love. "Baby, you are beyond more beautiful than Mommy and you don't need makeup." She smiled and helped me finish wiping her face. We headed to the dining table and ate the eggs and fruit I had prepared for us. "Mommy, I want Mickey." Aubrey says while finishing her eggs. I turned on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on my phone and handed it to her. I always felt guilty about letting her watch stuff on my phone, but it was the only time I could get her to sit still while I was doing other things. I went to the bathroom to got myself ready for the day. It then dawned on me that my husband wasn't there. I didn't even realize or care that Zane wasn't in the condo. He must have left early in morning to do his usual morning workout. I didn't really keep up with him. If I was going to be completely honest, it wouldn't bother me if he never came back. I didn't wish harm on him, but I felt like most days that I would be much happier without him. Zane and I got married after only 4 months of dating. I met him at a study group that my sister was going to. I hadn't really ever had a boyfriend before him, but that was by choice. I was waiting for someone special, my soulmate. I always dreamed of meeting my soulmate and I wanted to keep myself completely pure for him. I always hoped he was doing the same for me. My sister Sydney had begged me to go to the study group with her. I didn't like socializing much with others because I mostly had zero patience for stupidity. I know that makes me sound like a smartass, but I guess a part of me is. There is a difference between stupidity and ignorance. Most people at my college were stupid in my opinion and so I had no desire to surround myself with anyone like that. I decided to finally give in though and go with my sister. She wouldn't tell me why she was so adamant that I go to her study group anyways. I was doing fine in calculus. I convinced myself that it was because she needed someone smarter there to help. I couldn't have been more wrong. My sister was trying to play matchmaker. She was determined to find me a boyfriend. When we got to the library where the room was rented for study group I immediately saw him, Zane Tucker. He was about 6 foot tall and had beautiful green eyes that captivated me. I couldn't help, but feel drawn to him. Zane apparently didn't need help in calculus either, but tagged along to help his frat brothers in the study group. The fact that he was smart was a huge turn on. I wasn't used to being around handsome smart guys. I decided to come back for the next study group and a few after that. Zane asked for my number after the second study group session and soon after we were dating. After 4 months of dating, I started to convince myself that he was my soulmate and decided to lose my virginity to him. A night that I regret, but a part of me doesn't because my sweet little Aubrey was conceived that night. When I found out that I was pregnant though, I was horrified. A few days after I had lost my virginity to Zane I started to feel the connection between us fade. I knew when we were having s*x that he was not my soulmate. I don't know exactly how I knew, but I felt it deep within me. It broke my heart to pieces. I had been saving myself for my soulmate all this time and I just willingly gave myself away to a man that I was not supposed to be with. I felt a part of me die when I realized that I would never be pure like I had always wanted to be for my soulmate. I decided I wasn't good enough for him anymore especially since I was pregnant by another man. I tried to hide my pregnancy from everyone, but that didn't last long when Sydney noticed that I was going to the bathroom every 30 minutes to an hour to throw up. Syd immediately told our mom. I hated her for that. My parents convinced me that I would not be able to provide a comfortable and stable life for my child as a single mother. A part of me wanted to tell them that they had no idea what I was capable of and that I would take care of my child on my own. I also couldn't stand the thought of not being able to provide for my child properly though. So, I married him. I was actually surprised Zane wanted to marry me. He didn't even seem scared at all to be having a child with me either. Little did I know that it was because he didn't plan on taking much care of her anyways. It's always just been me and Aubrey for the most part. Zane worked to take care of us or rather he made enough money doing something he loved and it provided for our needs and our wants. He easily landed his dream job after graduating top of his class. Zane was a software engineer. So financially, we have never struggled. To most people being married to a handsome man who was financially stable was a dream come true, but to me I wanted the connection. I wanted to be able to look at my husband and feel the undying love that I craved. I couldn't decide if I was being naïve because of being the romantic I am or if I was truly unable to create a real connection with Zane because he wasn't my soulmate. I still had this hole inside of me that I felt only my true soulmate could fill, but that was just a fantasy. I would never be good enough for my soulmate. Even if I met him, I couldn't be with him. I was married with a three year old. Tears filled my eyes as I finished straightening my hair. I had to redo my mascara after I stopped crying. I was used to it anyways. I have always been a crier. I always told myself to get waterproof mascara, but the ones I have used never gave my lashes the look I wanted. After taking a final glance in the mirror to make sure I didn't look like I had been crying, I walked back into the living room to see my sweet little girl still sitting watching her show. "Mommy, daddy said that he will be back soon." What? When did he come in? I didn't even hear him. I must have been too deep in thought. I really have to stop fantasizing about what could have been. I was here now in this life even if I wasn't in love with my husband. All I could hope for was that I would be able to give my daughter a good life and help guide her to make the right decisions for her life. I didn't want her ending up like me, married to someone she didn't love. "Did daddy say where he was going honey?" Aubrey looked up at me with her beautiful green eyes and shook her head no. It was always a mystery with him. A part of me was hurt that he didn't attempt to come see where I was, but at the same time it only fueled my dislike for him. He was genuinely a good guy, but he was selfish in certain senses. I somewhat felt like I was looking for the wrong in him, but another part of me felt like the things I disliked about him were the kind of things I thought I'd never have to deal with if I had my soulmate. "Come on sweet girl, let's go see if we can see the dolphins today." Aubrey jumped up and started running towards the door. "Yay! I want to touch the dolphin too. Can I have one Mommy?" I couldn't help but giggle. My sweet girl was so spoiled, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to give her the world. "No sweetie, you can't have a dolphin. They belong in the ocean where they can live happy and free." I felt my heart twinge. I longed to be happy and free, but I wouldn't see my freedom anytime soon. I had been considering for a while about leaving Zane after Aubrey turns 18. I felt like that was incredibly selfish of me, but I knew in my heart it was for her. I wanted her to grow up with a family that wasn't broken or at least not on the surface. I helped Aubrey get changed and put her shoes on and then we left for the beach. We rented a condo right on the beach. So, the shore was only a 10 minute walk away. I sat down on the sand close enough to the shoreline so my feet could get wet. I watched as Aubrey waded the shallow part of the shoreline. The wind was warm and it gently blew through my hair. It made me feel at peace. I had put myself through so many emotions this morning. It was nice being able to just bask in the warmness that surrounded me. It provided me some comfort, like a warm hug. After a moment, I realized that I had closed my eyes while embracing my inner peace. My eyes shot open and I frantically looked for Aubrey. I didn't see her anywhere on the shore. I jumped up and started screaming for her. I began to run down the shoreline and searched the water as I ran along side it. My heart was breaking in two. Where was my baby?! Please don't be in the water. Please God don't take my baby from me. "Aubrey! Please baby answer me. Where are you?" I started to break down. "Mommy! I'm over here, look!" I turned my head towards her voice and my three year old was seven feet out into the water. My mother instincts kicked in. I ran in the water after her and within seconds I was right next to her. I was even hit by a couple of waves, but it didn't slow me down even a little bit.  I guess fight or flight was a real thing. I picked her up and held her tight. "Aubrey what are you doing out here baby?! What happened?"  Losing sight of her made me feel like I had failed as a mother. I should have kept my eye on her. "I got to touch a dolphin Mommy." My eyes widened. "What do you mean baby? There was a dolphin with you?" She grinned at me. "Mhm! It was pretty with blue eyes." Dolphins didn't have blue eyes. I was almost certain dolphins had brownish/black eyes. I wasn't going to argue with her though. I just assumed that she was playing make believe because she wanted to touch a dolphin. "Sweetie, did you swim out here?" She shook her head. "I was on the dolphin." I didn't know what to think. I didn't even care anymore. I was just glad she was okay. "Please don't ever do that again baby. Please always stay with Mommy. You're too little to be out here by yourself. If something happened to you it would hurt mommy's heart so much." I teared up. "Okay, Mommy I'm sorry." I held her close and then started to feel uneasy. Someone was watching us. I looked at the shoreline and it was relatively empty. Then my stomach turned. I looked around us and then I saw it. A short dorsal fin poking just out of the water.