The Lady By the Moon

The Memory

Suddenly a memory plays before me like a movie...

I am awoken to the smell of brown sugar bacon, and buttery pancakes wafting into my room. Jumping up; I run into the kitchen to see Gemma placing a plate of pancakes gently onto the table. Pancakes and bacon have always been my favorite breakfast. Gemma knew this, and would make it for me often. “Good morning sleeping beauty, seems like you got a good night's rest?” she says with a warm tone to her voice. She smiles and gestures to my white tangled curls, they clearly lost the battle with my pillow. “Good! I saw the lady by the moon again!” A flash of wonder twinkled inside of my bright golden eyes as I said this. “I told you, you must never speak of this to anyone. Not even me Azzie”. The always positive and happy woman appeared worried when she said this. “Never, okay?” my younger self looked up at her questioningly. “Okay” my shoulders shrugged and I began eating my pancakes.

The memory faded almost as quickly as it appeared, my brain swirled with a million thoughts and questions. ‘Gemma didn’t look much older than I am now, why was she in charge of me?’ She never raised another child; she was highly respected in the pack and her duties should not have included caring for me. 'Who is the lady by the moon, and why must I never speak of her?’ So many questions ran through my mind, when the silence is suddenly broken “I will be coming around to check that the whole pack house is cleaned in exactly 3 hours. If it is not cleaned to my standard... Gemma will be receiving your punishment.” He said this with a twisted smile; this look told me he hoped I made a mistake. He knew hurting Gemma would torment me far more than any beating would. His words rip me out of my thoughts and I realize I am still on the floor. Pushing myself up, I look him in his eyes “I will accept any punishment for any mistakes I make, Gemma does not have to.” His smile widens even more, as if my words confirmed this was the best threat he has made thus far.

“Gemma has decided to make this her responsibility today, rather than be a productive member of our pack... she chooses to care for a weak outsider who will never be anything more than a servant, and a lousy one at that.” He used this opportunity to embarrass not only me, but Gemma as well. She was seen as less now, treated almost as if she was a “traitor”, just for caring for me. Although they allowed me into this pack I would never be seen as a part of it. Once I turn 18, they will decide whether I have proven myself useful enough to be given a lowly job… or they will decide I am useless and reject me from the pack. “That is fine Jacob”. Everyone’s eyes once again fell on Gemma; her dark blue eyes looked as if a storm was brewing in them. Upon hearing his name Jacob let out a low growl, no one had called him by his name in a long time. Everyone referred to him as Headmaster since the Alpha put him in charge of managing the pack house and school. Everyone assumed that as the Alpha’s Gamma he would have a higher-ranking job, but Jacob ruined his own chances of ever becoming a more important member of this pack. The Alpha will never consider him anything other than a manager. This, at least brings me some joy.

In the next second Jacob disappeared and all that was left was the slam of the door. “Who does he think he is?” I barely heard this as it was almost a whisper. “Are you crazy?” I yelled out. Gemma looked shocked. I could almost always keep my emotions in check, but I won't allow her to put herself at risk for me. “I’m not crazy, he is. You had a bad night, everyone does.” she sounded sure of herself as she said this, as if it was a fact. Warm pools of water began forming in my eyes, it became increasingly hard for me to keep these feelings locked away in the safe I had hidden in the back of my heart a long time ago. “I am not everyone. You know this Gemma. I am nobody. The sooner you realize that, the better your life will be.” I turned away from her, not leaving room for discussion. I did not want to argue about this with her, she is the only person in my life that has ever actually cared for me and I won't put her in danger, even if the danger is just her loving me. I find my way to the broom closet and shut myself inside. A deep breath finally escapes from my lungs and I realize I have been holding it in for a while. ‘Pull it together so we can get to work... before Gemma suffers because of it.’ I tell myself as I grab a sponge and the soap and head to the sink.