The Lady By the Moon

The Days After

I awoke the day after my shift, back in my bed. Gemma must have brought me back in here after I shifted back. It has been 3 days since my shift and nothing has happened. I feel different, although I cannot really describe how. ‘Maybe everyone feels this way after shifting?’ It has been dreadfully boring. I have not had any dreams at all. Gemma gifted me a small necklace made by witches.

“It will mask your wolf and make sure no one knows you have shifted.” click. I hear the necklace clasp together around my neck. “If Jacob or anyone finds out they will make you shift in front of them to see what kind of wolf you have. It is better if they think you do not have a wolf.” She said this with that tight-lipped smile I have now grown to hate. Azzie was always my source of comfort, but lately it seems like everything she says is hiding information behind it. Information I know she will never reveal to me… ‘Information I must find out myself’ I think. As these thoughts are running through my head, I hear heavy metal footsteps pounding against the floor. “Orphan, Jacob wants to see you in his office.” I know he is speaking to me. Preparing to follow him, I put the broom against the wall and wipe my clothes off.

It seemed like the walk would never end. An endless road of grey tiles with white paint outlining them. The walls were a darker grey than the floor, but the white trimmings and white vaulted ceilings brought a more pleasant appearance. We finally reach his office and the guard that has been following me, watching my every move with disgust…with a hope I would somehow make a mistake. Steps forward and brushes past me, bumping into my shoulder. I stand tall and do not let him push me. I hear a scoff come from his lips as he knocks loudly on the door. “Headmaster, the orphan mutt is here.” I hear Jacob’s familiar voice call out “bring her in.” I walk in his office with my head held low, I did not want to cause too much trouble and have myself exposed for some reason. I have been in a constant state of worry that someone is going to find out about my wolf. I am not sure why it is such a big deal, but I know I have never seen Gemma that worried. “Well, I will get right to the point.” He says with that smirk on his face. His square jaw had a 5 o' clock shadow on it. As if he had not been taking care of himself, just sitting in his office drinking his days away. ‘I haven’t really seen Jacob around, come to think of it’.

His teeth were incredibly white for a man his age, it almost appeared as if he was wearing dentures. If it were not for the fact that he was a terrible person who had abused me for years, I might even consider him attractive. “No one here knows your actual birthday. This was the last year estimated for you to turn 18 by the doctors who saw you as a child. Unless you shift and prove your worth to this pack… you will need to pack your things and go by the end of the month.” He says “What if I don’t have a wolf?” I reply with tears forming in my eyes. I can’t let them know that I have a white wolf… but I also do not want to leave Gemma and live amongst the roamers. I have heard many scary stories of what happens to wolves that are rejected from their pack. He began to laugh, that evil laugh. The one that makes me want to rip his throat out, right where he sits. “We do not have a purpose for those without a wolf. Not having one will immediately get you rejected.” He continues his laugh for a while longer. I feel like pleading with him and asking what I can do to show my worth, but I know that is hopeless. Jacob does not care for anyone. ‘I don’t even think he cares for himself’. I leave his office, still fighting back the stinging feeling in my tear ducts….begging me to release the tears trapped within them. I head towards Gemma’s home to tell her what happened. I knock on her door once again, and take note of the clean door that is free of blood smudges. She opens as usual, and welcomes me in for a glass of tea. I sit with her “Jacob is going to have Silas reject me from the pack at the end of the month if I do not shift and prove I’m “useful”” I say throwing my fingers into quotation marks for the last word.

‘How have I not been useful? I do everything for them’. This thought angers me as I remember all of the years I have been a servant to this pack. I have spent my whole life catering to them, wasting away my years being a punching bag for Jacob. “Azzie, whatever you’re thinking about… calm down.” She says with her warm motherly tone that I have missed. She has not spoken to me like this since I had shifted. It was reassuring to think of things returning to normal between us. “It’s just upsetting. I do not know what to do, Gemma. I do not want to leave you…” I say, finally letting the tears escape the jail I forced them into. “Don’t worry baby girl, I will try and pull some strings and get it figured out. I do not speak of it often… but Luna Sarah is my older sister. I will contact her and tell her just how useful you actually are.” As she says this, I run and hit her. “I love you Gemma.” I whisper. I do not say this much, I do not like to believe love exists… but I know that my life would be miserable without Gemma. I know that she has sacrificed a lot for me, and I know that I love her. She is the only person I have ever loved. She has been my mother, my friend, and the only person that has ever loved me.

I leave that night and return to my bedroom. I look around and my small bed that lays next to the big window. I have always loved this window. It is big enough to allow me to sit in the windowsill, soaking in the rays of the moon's light shining on my skin. The position of the window allows this light to shine on me while I sleep as well. I have since started wondering if that is the reason I kept having weird dreams. I am starting to believe they were meaningless, figments of my imagination. Perhaps I was having them because I was about to shift. I am not very educated on how shifting works and what to expect. Gemma never really went over these things with me. She taught me how to perform my duties, how to stay out of trouble, the hierarchy of the pack, the members of each pack, and so on. As I slip off my uniform and slip on my grey silk night gown, I can’t help but hear a voice in my head telling me ‘It was real’. In this moment I make a decision. If my dream was real… that room will be somewhere within this pack house. ‘I will search for it. If I can find it, then I have proof the dreams were real. If I cannot find it, then I have proof they were not.’ My eyes close and I begin drifting off to sleep.

I have the same familiar sinking feeling, as if my energy was being pulled out of my body and falling into a bottomless abyss. I begin trying to prepare myself for the long fall, and confusing messages that follow, but suddenly… I find myself stopping. It is the same black void I am used to seeing, but this time it is similar to a hallway. I can walk on the black hole looking material , as I begin walking it appears there are lights coming from the “ceiling”, my brain is having a hard time processing what I am seeing. There is no apparent roof or floor, yet I am able to walk and there are lights in a straight line a few feet above my head. There are thousands of doors in front of me. All of them are white doors, they have crimson red trimming around them and in the middle is a different symbol on each door. I wonder where the doors lead, but I am also terrified. I have no idea where I am, or where the doors lead. My braveness and curiosity finally overtake my fear and I turn the bright red door handle. The door I chose had the symbol of a knot on it. It was in a similar shape to a triangle, but appeared to have loops and markings that immediately caught my attention. As I enter, I hear two people speaking.