Anastasia

Chapter 5: I'm Fine

Joanna was up again before Anastasia, but this time it was her off day. Anastasia was in the bathroom taking a warm shower, while the sun was still up and warmed the pipes. That was the only time to take a shower before the water turned to it's usual state of ice cold freezing temperature. Joanna was just waiting on Giovanni and Matthew after she sent both of them messages of what she expected of them. Giovanni though has yet to call her.

Matthew was the first to answer back to her. Both of them wanted to make sure on Anastasia's medical history and not just take her word for it in case she forgot something. It was about over 2 months since the incident happened with her and Dante, and 2 weeks since she visited the Doctor's. She was just shy of her first trimester. Joanna was holding her breath about the baby that was growing inside of her, as a quarter of pregnancies miscarried in the first trimester. Joanna didn't know what her princess was thinking, but she could only be there to support her.

While Anastasia was in the shower Matthew started to call Joanna's phone. Joanna quickly stretched her arm from the sofa to grab the phone that was sitting on top of the drawer. She quickly answered it before Matthew could hang up.

"What the f**k took you so long Mat." shouting Joanna over the phone "It's been 2 weeks."

"Quiet the f**k down!" Matthew said over the phone in a whisper. "I got some info of where beauty's Medical file is and I'm getting it right now."

"Where the f***s are you Mat." said Joanna quietly.

“I’m at the Romano's Hospital that they own here in North Lazio." Answered Matthew

"f**k!" said Joanna shouting again feeling her nerves rigid from the tense situation

"Keep it down Devil. Where do you think it would be. This is urgent I had to get some other stuff and smuggle an Ultrasound machine to look at the baby and it's health." said Matthew

"Is everything alright J." said Anastasia from the shower hearing her shouting through the thin walls.

Joanna put her hand over the speaker and pushed the phone away from her. She turned her head to the bathroom.

"Everything is fine princess. Be careful in there." said Joanna before she returned to her call.

“You’re treading on thin ice here Mat. Where is your dealer?" Joanna said while her voice was toned down.

"The Romano's caught him as he was working here in the hospital. I was low on morphine J." Mat said

"So you went to the Romano's hospital. Are you crazy?" Joanna said

"I can not agree or disagree with that statement." said Mat with a straight face over the phone still in the dark room that held all the information he needed that was sorted in cabin files.

"GAAAAH! You are unbelievable." Said Joanna frustrated with Matthew's reckless behavior.

"You know that the South Side needs those things, as I’m one of the only neutral doctors that anyone can find there." said Matthew "One of my men are putting the machine in the van. I’m almost done."

"I know. I know. Just be careful." said Joanna softly "I'll wait on the phone until I’m sure you’re safe."

Joanna could hear the muffled rustles that Matthew was making. She figured that he was likely unlocking something with some bobby pins trying to be discreet as possible. She heard something like a cabinet being opening.

"I got it devil. I let you know when I’m back at my office of what I find about beauty." said Matthew before closing his end of the line first.

Joanna could feel being hugged from behind, as damp hair touched her skin. She breathed out a sigh that Anastasia could hear. She was in a white tank top that was tucked in grey sweatpants with some fuzzy socks that warmed her feet. Her arms not covered of anything showing the pronounced veins that one could see clearly than before. Anastasia made her way over the sofa still fresh out of the shower and began to snuggle into Joanna, not caring that her clothes where getting damp.

"How are you Princess?" said Joanna

"I'm fine J. Really." said Anastasia still snuggled to Joanna.

Internally Anastasia was not fine and that was the cold hard truth that she had to face soon. Her battles with the darkness inside of her building up, as with each passing day it got harder to look at herself in the mirror. The agonizing loneliness that she always felt that fluctuated in various degrees everyday. It was the first thing she thought of when she woke up. These thoughts tormenting her of people in her life, herself worth, and accomplishments. To the point where she was asking herself if it would be easier to not even exist or if she should just carry on and bear with it.

She knew her mentality was different than anyone else and that made her even lonelier. The way patterns stood out and how she viewed them, her childless, of how things must be organized, and other in disarray. It only excluded her more from her generation now that she didn't have her family anymore. It's been 8 months since she had been disowned.

The baby growing inside of her helped ground her state of being. That someone would need her, love her unconditionally, and on the other hand why put the baby through torment of being raised by a mother like her. If she's even gonna be a good mother she asked her self.

She knew that abortion was an option, but personally Anastasia thought that the act of killing the baby was actually going to make her mentality worse, that it would be harder to live with herself with this action than the difficulties of having the child and raising it.

Anastasia knew that these thoughts were quiet selfish and that she wasn't thinking about her baby's wants and what it would need. She wasn't thinking about it from a moralistic view of not killing a baby. It was more about how she didn't want to be damaged more and how it would be harder to deal with life with not only of the deceits of her family, their betrayal , the s*x, but also the termination. It would be too much for her and she would break. She didn't have a lot of hope that she was able to pick up the pieces and put herself back together even with the support group she now had picking the pieces with her. It would be like tying to pick rice on a pile of snow. In the end a complete waste of time.

'I know I have a bond with the baby that i'm starting to form and it would only build up from there.' Anastasia thought to herself.

She didn't hold a grudge against the baby for how it was conceived, as it was innocent in all of this. She wasn't low to hold it against the baby. She already had been called everything under the sun. Just this once Anastasia was the selfish one and that was something she didn't regret. It was easier to keep the child thinking it was only hers.

It only added to the darkness inside of her that she is actually a bad person that wasn't supposed to live. Her selfish emotions and well being controlled her baby's life before it was even born, and how society would view it and her as a single mother. She knew that Joanna and Marco were questioning her line of thought. Anastasia knew that they wouldn't understand her it was already hard for her to articulate to someone her feelings and thoughts, even if that person was Joanna.

On some days these thoughts were weightless and she could carry on with her daily life, be able to look herself in the mirror and be able to admire herself. On others they were like steel balls that dragged her down and burdened Anastasia to the point where taking the next breath is a job in itself. How she wanted to be a normal person more than anything.

Anastasia got up from the Joanna's embrace and cradled her small baby bump that was beginning to show. The least she could do was give the child everything it could possibly want that was in her power.

"Look J I’m gonna go study in the room. I'll be out later okay." Anastasia said her excuse wanting to just go in the room and be left to her thoughts.

"Okay Princess I just have to go meet someone." said Joanna questionably to Anastasia not looking up from her phone. She didn't want to leave her alone, but Giovanni has finally answered her and she didn't have a choice. It was as though she could see the torment in her princess. Joanna wanted to help her and she did all that she can, but she didn't know how far these thoughts go.

"Okay take care." said Anastasia as she made her way into their shared room and closing the door.

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"Where are you going Tesoro mio?" he said as he could feel his lover leave their bed silk sheet. He was naked from their love making, but it was strange leaving at this time it was still to early.

"I have to go meet someone signore." he said shyly not wanting to wake up his master from his sleep, but failing to do so with his movement. His master deserved his respect in every way that mattered and it was rare that he got well rested. He wished to sneak out while he slept

"Who and Where?" he said as he turned in the bed to look directly at his lover.

"A friend signore." the lover said not looking into his eyes as he continued to dress and kept on not focusing on his master.

His master made his way out of the bed still naked and went to stand over him, as he was sat down to wear his shoes. When he got up and headed to the door, but before he could reach the knob he felt his Master's hands turn his body to him and slam him to the wall next to the door. The lover could feel his Master's hand grip his neck establishing dominance, only applying a bit of pressure on his neck to make it clear who has power here. It only flamed his arousal ,as his core started to heat up.

"I don't like to be ignored Tesoro." said his master as he whispered in his ear before teasingly nipping at it.

“I’ll say it again who and where." he growled

"It's a friend from the South Side signore. We were going to meet at her workplace." The lover said as he gulped from the intense gaze of his Master he raised his head, but didn't dare to look him into his eyes.

"Il mio bravo ragazzo" said his master as he roughly molded his lips into his claiming his mouth.

The lover moaning out in pleasure, though it was muffled, his master didn't hesitate to insert his tongue to claim his mouth. The lover tried to turn his head from the intense sensation that he was feeling. That didn't deter his master as his master still continued to kiss him feverishly.

It only provoked his Master's primal needs when hears his pleasure being gifted to him . They pulled away from each other a string of saliva connecting them as they broke apart the kiss. His nerves still tightened with his brewing o****m, as he tried to chase his pleasure.

"Go Tesoro but come back to me . I'm sure you can handle the situation now don't be late." His master warned as grabbed his ass in a punishing grip before letting go and went to sit back in the bed. Fully knowing that he was leaving his lover all hot and bothered

"Si signore" the lover said as he made his way out of the room, but not before hearing his Mater say in a whisper.

"Ti amo Giovanni." It made his heart flutter.

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Giovanni met Joanna at the diner late in the night. There was no customer inside as it was Joanna's day off and she only opened it for this particular meeting. Giovanni made his way in the diner and sat in the booth that Joanna was in.

"Took you long enough." said Joanna as she looked into Giovanni's eyes

Giovanni was a beautiful 24 year old young man with lean muscle. He had blue striking eyes and golden wavy blond hair. That cascaded down to his shoulder's and stopped, he had a necklace around his neck that was gifted from his Master, and was dressed casually. He was very attractive and got the interest of anyone that wanted him. It was his fiery spirits that kept most people away, but not his Master it only attracted him further. He made a good life outside the South Side and he wouldn't lose it for anything.

"I was busy." Giovanni said curtly "What do you need?"

“I want you to bring you Master here. I gotta talk to him." replied Joanna

"Why?" questioned Giovanni

"Anastasia." spoke Joanna as it only took that one word before Giovanni reacted.

"ARE YOU CRAZY? THAT b***h BETRAYED THE FAMILY! ALL OF US!" shouted Giovanni on the top of his voice.

He stood up and got in Joanna's face before his head was turned harshly to the side from the force of the slap. Giovanni stared at Joanna in surprise as his cheek throbbed with pain from how strong the slap was. Her demeanor still calm and collected, but her eyes frosted over. She hadn't even move an inch from the booth.

"Sit down." she said cool tone of voice.

"You will listen and then you will obey." said Joanna still staring harshly at Giovanni "Are we clear?"

"What could you have to stay? We caught her red handed." said Giovanni before he questioned "More importantly How do you know her?" raising his eyebrow at Joanna.

"We're not here for that." said Joanna not wanting to get off topic

She started to tell the story of Anastasia's innocence and its sequence. That it couldn't possibly be her, as she was located in a different setting at the time. She even showed him the present to prove her princess's innocence. Needless to say Giovanni was speechless by the end of it.

"Wait. Wait. Wait." said Giovanni confused "If it's not Anastasia then who is that person in the video that we saw on the cameras?" he finished.

"Not the time again." said Joanna

"Then where is principessa." Giovanni was now worried about Anastasia, as if he didn't call her a b***h before 5 minutes ago. That only made Joanna angry, as her blood boiled from hypocrisy.

"None of your business Hypocrite I only need your Master Dog." said Joanna with that sharp tongue of hers.

Giovanni flinched at the harsh words, but can you blame him his world has been turned upside down again. It hurt that he thought that Anastasia betrayed the family, but when he stepped back Giovanni could see clearly all that they have missed. There where pieces of evidence that was left behind to prove Anastasia innocence if one really looked. Giovanni wondered how all of this should have been dealt with differently, if only they had let Anastasia talk.

“You know where she is?" Giovanni said to Joanna as he came to the conclusion. It was too much of a coincidence that Joanna did all of this without knowing where principessa was.

"So." Joanna replied

"There's still some news. Get your master and I’ll let you see Anastasia and carry on with this mess that you and the other's put the Princess through."

Joanna ended the conversation and stood up to leave having enough of this bullshit. She was appalled that Giovanni felt guilty and ashamed, as if he is the victim here. Giovanni stood up with her as he rushed to keep his steps, as the same pace as hers.

"I'll get Nico and see you tomorrow."

Joanna didn't even answer him as she locked the diner when both of them walked out of the door. She didn't even look back to see Giovanni looking at her with sorrow.

He knew that didn't deserve the redemption that they were given and it was only thanks to Joanna.

He didn't know why though she was close to the princess. Only time will tell what's the story here.

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Opinion's please

Look some of these things are based on my experiences but they are twisted exaggerated and then turned into fiction.

I'm using this as a way to express myself and am not fantasizing Depression.

This is my experience with it and is still battling it to this day.

How do you like that you know some of Anastasia's feeling towards the Baby?

Justified or Unjustified?

Where coming to an end of the first arc?

Then things will turn around

Comments please

Ohhh and whoever remembers who Nico is Kudos to you .

Chiki~~~~