ACCEPTANCE (A Nigerian Love story)

20. LOST AND FOUND

Chapter 20: Lost & Found 

Ammar's POV 

She was pouting and making weird sounds that I'm sure could scare the fishes away, while smiling to herself. 

I walked towards her planning to scold her but when I got closer and my eyes met her smiling and shining ones I forgot what I was about to do for awhile. 

Her smile was so infectious that unknowingly a smile crept my face. 

"It's beautiful right?" She asked. 

My scratched lips shrunk and I cleared my throat. 

"I've been looking everywhere for you" I groaned 

"And you found me" she said simply

Was she playing hide and seek? 

Seriously how can I keep up with this woman's mood swings? 

My phone rang before I could say another word. I answered after seeing it was my mum. 

"Salamu alaikum." I greeted her.

"Amin wa 'alaika salam. Ammar why are you still not back. Hafsa isn't back too" I heard her worried voice 

"Don't worry. She's with me. We would be late today, Mommy " 

"Alhamdulillah" I heard her sigh "Okay. Be safe. Bye." And she hanged up. 

"She most have been worried. I should have called her earlier." She said the moment I finished talking to my mom. 

"Uhm" I murmured a reply. 

"I'm sorry" she said looking at the floor so I couldn't see her face.

"I didn't know I was making them worry about me. I didn't intend to do that. I was so lost in myself that I didn't notice what was going on around me."

I held her arm and pulled her to sit down. I sat beside her and crossed my legs. 

" I can't ignore people or give silent treatment even if I want to, at least not intentionally because I would eventually forget. I hate silence. I can't stand it. And I really love to listen to my own voice." She continued. 

I didn't understand what she was saying but decided not to ask. 

"I watched my parents and brother and everything I've ever known and owned burn to ashes. Somehow I was the only one who flew out of the car window, not even my brother who was sitting beside me did. I lost consciousness after watching the car tumble some more and burn. When I woke up a few days later, I couldn't find my voice. At first I couldn't form words, then that was it....some how my brain told me that I can't talk. " 

I watched as she gulped down the lump in her throat. She most have gone through so much but why is she telling me? 

I didn't know what to say so I just listened. 

"I couldn't trust anyone. I didn't know anyone. I didn't like anyone. I had nightmares every night when I slept on my orphanage bed. The accident happened on our way to Riyadh after we did umrah in Mecca. Everything we had was in that car, Everything! Was burnt. There was nothing that could identify me. When the accident happened there were other people that witnessed it. A certain couple came to see me when I was at the hospital. They didn't stop when I was moved to the orphanage. They came almost everyday. Sometimes only one would come, sometimes both of them and other times they brought a kid with them." 

She sniffled and smiled. I put a hand on her shoulder. I didn't know a better way to handle this. 

"At first I didn't want to meet them, so they just watched me through the window and leave after a while." She chuckles and wiped her tears. I just tapped on her shoulder to comfort her. 

"I was mean right?" She gave out an awkward laugh then continued 

" But those people never stopped coming. I started going out to see them after some time but I still couldn't talk. I missed them on the days they didn't come. I began to trust them and occasionally smiled when I see them. And they could speak Hausa which made me like them even more. Apparently they met my parents at a stop, meaning we were traveling together unknowingly from Mecca to Riyadh. 

They finally adopted me. But no one knew my name. I refused to write it down when they asked me so they asked me if they could call me Hafsat and I agreed by nodding. Mama and Baba are extremely nice people. They gave me my name. Its pretty. I like it." 

She raised her head and turned to give me a smile but didn't wait for a reply from me as she continued. 

I guess this chatterbox is back to action. 

"I didn't talk for almost two years. Till when Aliyu was born. Let's say he brought light to my life." She sniffled again. I searched my pocket for pocket tissue and luckily it was still there. I gave it to her and she blew her nose. 

She wasn't intensely crying but she needed a tissue nonetheless. 

She really has experienced more than a mare ten year old can take. My heart was actual breaking for her. I understood her just a little bit more. I know how it feels to loss someone you love. But this young girl lost her whole family before her eyes and there was nothing she could do. 

She truly has a strong heart. 

I wish mine was that strong. 

"This is the first time I'm talking to any one about this. That's probably why I am getting all too emotional. Sorry" she turned to look at me and I wiped her tears with my thumb while shaking my head. 

"It's okay to cry" I tighten my grip on her and moved her closer. She tried to stop crying but failed as she cried even more. 

She finally got to calm down. 

"I miss them. My parents. I never mentioned them to anyone but I really miss them. I feel too guilty to talk about them because Mama and Baba have been more than I could ever ask for. I might make them feel somehow if I talk about them. So I never did. I'm glad that I got to say it. At least to you. 

I lost my parents, I thought it was the end for me but Mama and Baba found me and helped me have a new start.

After they adapted me. I was scared of cars. Just the sight of them scared me. So Baba drove me everywhere on a motobike. Its started getting better with therapy. I started to form words and not flinch at the sight of a moving car. Eventually they got me to start riding a car but I screamed and cried and ended up having nightmares if I sit in the back. Somehow I started sitting in the front passenger seat. And me learning how to drive is a miracle I can't explain. Though I panic at the sight of vans or big trunks. Probably because a van was the cause of our accident " 

"Selective phobia?" I asked knowingly and she nodded. 

I remember her brother Ali saying that she doesn't seat in the back sit of a car. Even though she smiled and laughed in between her sobs I could still feel her pain. She probably saw herself in the orphans she visited 2 days ago. I didn't know what to say to comfort her, I knew she was waiting for me to say something and just in time the adhan for Magrib came to my rescue. 

"Let's pray magrib first then leave" 

I removed my arm from around her shoulder and she tried to compose herself. 

"There is nothing we can do for people we miss but pray. So make du'a for them and Insha Alah they are in a better place. May their soul rest in peace." I don't know how I found those words but they seem like the right thing to say. 

We went to pray. After the salat we walked to the car. 

"Your name...."I started as we walked. 

"Uhm?" She murmured 

"What's your birth name?" I asked because I was curious. I wanted to know. 

"Intisar. Intisar Ahmad." She answered with a smile. 

"Masha Allah. It's a beautiful name." I commented. I wanted to ask why she didn't write her name on a paper when she couldn't talk but didn't. 

I held her hand and I felt her shiver and tense a bit. She turned to look at me then giggled.

"Why?" I asked but she only shook her head and giggled some more.

I stopped and gave her a confused look. 

"Okay. It's just that you are holding my hand" She said using her eyes to point at our hands. 

There she goes again spoiling the mood.

I don't get her really. How is that suppose to be funny? Mood spoiler. 

I let go off her hand but she held me back. She was still smiling as she looked into my orbs. 

Her pretty eyes were smiling. Her pointed African nose was positioned perfectly, dividing her face into two equal halves. Her brown hazel eyes were staring into my black ones, her lips still cracked in a beautiful smile. I didn't realise when my free hand reached to her face. I wanted to trace her facial features but.....never mind. I scanned her face with my eyes one more time finally landing on her lips. 

She took her eyes off me and looked down. Her action brought me back to reality. 

I moved back, cleared my throat and removed my hand from her face feeling a little awkward. 

She tried to remove her hand from mine but I held it tighter. 

"What if you disappear again? I have to hold you tight now" I smirked. She looked at me for only a second giving me a small smile. 

I bent down to level with her face before saying the last part. 

"In case you don't know, I have a phobia too. The fear of losing people." I mocked. 

I might have mocked her but I was serious. 

She giggled once again and nodded. We finally reached the car and I drove us home.