Broken souls and hidden scars

Accepting fate

I woke up and felt very comfortable, not wanting to move from where I was laying until I felt a spread of warmth and sparks. I opened my eyes and I was half lay on top of Faiban in the pull out bed and half still on mine I looked up to be welcomed to Faiban's dark grey eyes “oh I'm sorry” I say pulling away onto my own bed “It's okay” he said smiling before gently stroking his hand across my cheek “Faiban?” I say wanting to ask him so many questions “yeah?” he says “what happens if I choose to be your mate some day?” I say in a low tone.

I see him deep in thought and he let out a sigh “I don't know, I hadn't really thought about that I only ever expected friendship from you Ava” he said answering me honestly “but I'm sure we would work it out” he says tucking my hair behind my ear, I kissed him gently again but this time he automatically kissed me back deepening it slightly but not to the point of roaming my mouth.  

Kisses with Faiban were gentle and loving, he never tried to over step any boundary always waiting for me to initiate all of our intimacy moving only at my pace. Guilt often followed being this close to him for several reasons, the first not wanting to lead him on in any way. The second was Cole he was my first love, first mate and whole world. When he died a small part of me died with him and nothing or no one could ever begin to replace him, yet being with Faiban made the pain hurt less.

We lay in our beds for quite some time lost inside our own thoughts until Faiban spoke “Ava can I ask you about the mate bond?” he said looking unsure of himself “yes” I replied, “do you think the only reason you are getting feelings for me is because of the pull” he said, reminding me of having this conversation once before “No, I don't a very wise Alpha once told me that the bond would only work if there was something already there. I have a lot of respect for you Faiban I trusted you a long while ago, even if your aura has always been dark you yourself have never felt that way” I say answering his question, a small smile spread on his lips but it didn't reach his eyes “what is it?” I ask knowing there was something else he wanted to say “I don't know the how and why, all I know is that I'm happy to play this out, although I doubt your pack will accept me in the long run” he says looking concerned.

“Then if need be I will step down as the Luna I am carrying a child that has most of the supernatural breeds within his blood and if they can't accept you I doubt they will accept my son, there is something you should know though” I say to a surprised looking Faiban “I spoke to Brett yesterday and he said that even though he doesn't like you, he could tell you cared for me and Cole, that I should give in to the mate bond and that he would happily accept you in the pack” I say, Faiban's face was unreadable so many emotions showed in his eyes “that truly does surprise me, Ava I must make one thing clear though as much as I want to be by your side at all times I can never be Alpha of this pack, I'm the demon king and I already have so many responsibilities” he says regretfully.

I don't know how to feel about his words but I had to admit I understood them, “I will be here for you and the baby Ava nothing will ever be more important than that” he says reassuring me, I cupped his cheek with my hand “I understand and I appreciate your honestly Faiban, let's see how all this goes but for now I need to get up and go feed this hungry monster in my belly” I say in a playful tone, Faiban kissed my hand before rolling out of bed to help me up, he got dressed and then hugged me goodbye.

Once Faiban left my room it felt empty again and so did I, I wondered if this was how it would be for the rest of our lives. Him leaving to run the underworld whilst I stayed to run a pack and look after my son, waiting for him to return. I walked downstairs to the kitchen and my dad was already making breakfast for the pack “what would you like for breakfast petal?” he asked, I sighed not really knowing “surprise me” I say with an empty smile that didn't reach my eyes “what's wrong petal” he asked “I don't know I just feel empty, all this with Faiban is leaving me with mixed emotions” I say not looking up from the table I sat at “Ava look at me, I was mated to an oracle, I was close to being killed because of who and what I am, if something's meant to work it will” he says passing me pancakes and blueberries with syrup, what he said made me think maybe I could force a vision and see what becomes of me an Faiban in the future.  

Once I ate my breakfast I took a walk to my favourite spot sitting under the tree's listening to the water splashing behind me, the forest felt alive today, the wind made the flowers and tree's dance. I closed my eyes and thought of Faiban but I saw no visions, maybe I didn't want to after what happened to Cole. “We should really get you a chair for when you sit here, your going to struggle to get up soon” I opened my eyes to see Faiban stood in front of me smiling, he sat down on the grass beside me and nudged me a bit with his shoulder “I like it here, it's very peaceful no wonder it's your favourite spot” he said smiling and closing his eyes listening to the sounds around us “I was trying to get a vision of us” I say catching his attention, his eyes opened and they gazed upon me.

“what did you see?” he asked curiously “nothing, but I'm not sure if it's because I don't want to see” I say and he dropped his gaze looking down to the floor “no not because I don't want there to be an us, because the last time I had a vision of my mate I fount out he was going to die” I say to him feeling saddened by the memory, but no longer broken by it, “you saw that before it happened?” he asked, “not so much as saw it but heard it from my own mouth talking to Raven” I say his eyes focused on mine and I saw a glint of sympathy in them. He reached across and wiped away a tear that I hadn't realised had escaped my eyes, he stroked down my cheek and rubbed his thumb across my lips, sparks danced across my lips and I craved for his again.

I shook off the feeling “Why are you here? I thought you were too busy with the underworld to be here at the pack during the day?” I ask breaking up the heart felt moment “I will always find time to spend with you Ava I meant what I said there is nothing more important to me” he said, looking to my lips and then sighing. I know that look he wants to kiss me but doesn't want to initiate it, “Faiban I'm not made of glass I won't break” I say looking into his eyes, I could read that he felt insecure about this relationship that was growing between us. He leaned forward closing the gap between us, his hand slid around the back of my neck leaving goosebumps where he touched. His breath fanned my lips and I felt the air around us start to ignite, his lips moved closer to mine and softly brushed against my own, I kissed him back lightly before he deepened the kiss further.

The kiss felt more passionate than they had before and I had an overwhelming feeling taking over my body, I straddled over him and pushed my body close against his. Wrapping my hands around his neck the kiss became desperate between us as he bit my lip, I opened my mouth allowing him access. His arm wrapped around my waist whilst the other stroked up my back, leaving my skin feeling on fire by his touch, the kiss was making my breath raspy and I felt a throbbing between my legs I could feel him hardening underneath me, although it felt amazing and I really wanted him I wasn't sure if I was ready for that yet. Instead we sat kissing passionately for a while needing to be close to each other, I then realised he had been there all along trying to keep me safe from the side lines, hiding the truth about me from his own father and my other enemies.

I couldn't deny it any more my feelings where becoming more intense for him, I used every ounce of strength I had to pull back to look at him. His eyes where black filled with lust, passion and love for me I smiled looking into them they where beautiful like a starry midnight sky “are you okay?” he asked, stroking my hair “I think for the first time in what feels like forever I am” I say, turning my body to sit across his lap I placed my head on his shoulder and let him hold me. I felt warm, safe and loved again I missed this feeling and my baby boy kicked away in my stomach, I reached for Faiban's hand and placed it on my stomach, I kept eye contact “wow he's really going to town in there” he says laughing lightly “come on let's get you back to the pack house for some rest” he says lifting me up bridal style “to my office please” I say wrapping my hands around his neck, smiling at the glare on his face.

We arrived in my office and broke up a rather steamy kiss between Lana and Brett “geez guys in my office really?” I say still in Faiban's arms, Brett smirked where as Lana was bright red. Faiban and me laughed as he placed me down in my chair, he kissed me on my head “If you need me” he starts “call you” I finish nodding at him sarcastically he laughed before he left. I suddenly felt gazes burning through me “what?” I asked them both “you guys can make out in my office but I can't be teleported to my office by the king of demons” I say laughing, because of how silly the sentence sounded.

Brett spoke first “were not judging, just surprised” he said, “yeah Ava you looked really comfortable with him, we just wasn't sure you would be yet” Lana said, “guys where friends, just taking it a day at a time but I do trust him, I always have and yes I feel comfortable with him, he sleeps in my room and goes to get me my craving foods early hours of the morning” I say to them they both looked shocked at my statement “he's sleeping with you?” asks Lana shocked “no not with me, he has a pull out bed” I say “he was sleeping on the chair but dad got him a pull out bed because I stood on him when he slept on my floor” I say laughing heavily at the memory remembering again what I stood on. “Now are we going to get down to pack business or are we going to continue discussing my personal life more” I say in a sarcastic tone.

Brett and Lana could tell I was starting to get tired after several hours of doing pack paperwork “why don't you go for lunch and then go rest” Lana says, I nod my head thinking about what I fancy for lunch, I wonder if we can get some duck wraps. “no fornicating in my office you two” I say focusing my glare at Brett “No Alpha” he says in a playful tone. I leave my office and decide to head to my room, I can always get someone to bring me lunch up to my room. Walking into my suite I find my feet taking me into my son's bedroom, I take a seat on the nursing chair and rock myself lightly “it's decorated beautifully” Faiban's voice says, I turn to look at him “it is yeah, aren't you going to get any work done today?” I ask in a mocking tone “I wanted to come see what you fancied for lunch” he says, “oh I would kill for some duck wraps” I say, with that Faiban was gone again. I couldn't help notice how much time he was spending with me today after my feelings this morning I didn't think this could work out but now I'm not so sure.

He came back with my food, “come on let's go eat at the dining table” he says, putting his hand out for me to take, I hold onto his hand and the sparks dance across my skin, leaving me full of goosebumps, I wonder how they feel for him? whether he feels the same amount of power I feel when we touch if he does he composes himself well. I open up my food from the containers, the duck smelt amazing, there was spring onions and cucumber and hoi sin sauce, licking my lips I made myself a wrap stuffing it into my mouth whole “your going to choke with how you eat” he says laughing at me, I slap his shoulder and roll my eyes at him.

“This is the best duck I have ever had” I say, his face lights up with a smile “well I did go to china for it” he says “if you want the best you have to go to the best place for it” he says this smiling and it reaches his eyes “thank you its amazing” I say blushing lightly. We finish eating and he helps me clear up our mess “do you want to go anywhere?” he asks, “like where? I'v done my work for the day” I say, “how about coming with me to my home and meeting my second in command” he says waiting patiently for an answer “okay why not” I say, his face lit up and he stood next to me holding me around the waist, I flew into his arms and kissed his cheek gently “what was that for?” he asked “lunch” I say smiling.

Within seconds we were stood in a light an airy office, windows from ceiling to the floor a huge chandelier hanging from the high ceilings, everything was glass and chrome. “You okay?” he asks watching me looking at my surroundings “yeah I've seen this place before in a vision” I say “and what do you think?” he says, “it's beautiful” he walked behind me resting his chin on my shoulder, wrapping his arms around me placing one on my bump “not as beautiful as you” he says, I turned around in his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck. Feeling his breath fanning my lips and inhaling his scent made me feel calm and relaxed, yet excited. I felt a kicking in my stomach and he felt it too “I don't think Mr man likes me this close to his mommy” he said smirking, “I don't know maybe he is just saying hello” I say smiling, I pull his head down towards me and kiss him lightly on the lips.

A knock is heard on the door and I pull away from Faiban, but he keeps a light grip on my waist. “Come in” he said in a irritated tone, the door opened and a tall man walked in “sorry am I interrupting something?” he said looking towards me “No Ivan this is Ava, Ava this is Ivan my second in command” he said happily, I looked towards Ivan he bowed his head to me “Hello Alpha Ava, it's a pleasure to meet you” he said respectively “just Ava Ivan please, I'm a friend to you not a leader you don't have to be so formal” I say smiling lightly, Faiban didn't look pleased with my statement and Ivan bowed his head to him “I can come back later” Ivan said to Faiban “No what ever you want to discuss you can speak about in front of Ava” he said “I will want to see my sister too once we have discussed business” he said looking at Ivan “okay, well the vampires have been in touch, there coven's split down the middle on recent events. Some are happy that the d***s are dead but others are angry and want revenge” he said and the conversation made me feel uncomfortable, Faiban noticed and weaved his hands in mine “tell the ones that are happy are welcome to continue an alliance with us and those that don't can be executed” he says in a cold icy tone.

I didn't like what I was hearing and let go of his hand “No” I say, Ivan looked surprised by my boldness “rightfully I am there new queen, and I carry the heir to there throne, tell them they have a choice they either stand by us or we will lock any that stand against us in the dungeons for now” I say, Faiban's face looked confused “why are you locking them up instead of executing them, you don't need them, you have the wolves, the fey and the demonic community all behind you Ava” he says sounding annoyed “Faiban my child is half vampire and he doesn't need enemies before he's born, the vampires that are against us are just loyal to there old leaders I'm sure once they see that this is Jayce's baby and that he will lead them in a better way they will have a change of mind” I say.  

“I'm sorry Ava I disagree, I'm a demon I see the darkness within others and the vampires have nothing but that” he says snearing a bit, “Faiban I killed half of there coven with my own bare hands, and if there all full of darkness then what about him?” I say holding my stomach, he realises what he has said and I see the regret in his eyes “Ava he's not just vampire, he's fey, Lycan and oracle, plus he has you to raise him and your pack. All that is there is goodness and love, he will never be like them” he says looking deep into my eyes, “Faiban your the king of demon's everything about you is dark, yet your full of love what gives you the right to judge an entire coven by there previous leaders, take me home please” I say frustrated.

Faiban takes me back to me back to my suite in the pack house not ushering a single word to me before leaving, he felt so cold against everyone of the vampires, it makes me question if he will truly accept my baby. I walk downstairs to find my dad, he always knows the right thing to do. I find him sat in the garden enjoying the sunshine, “hey dad” I say sitting down next to him “what's up petal?” he says, “I need your advice please” I say, he smiles ushering me to continue “dad me and Faiban got into an argument, the vampires are split down the middle some are happy to continue there alliance with the demons, but the other half are out for revenge” I sigh slightly before continuing.

“Faiban wants to execute all that are against him, I don't think that will help with the ones that remain allies they might rise against him. He said they are all full of darkness dad it angered me my baby is half vampire what if he doesn't accept him” I say feeling hurt and frustrated, “Oh petal, Faiban loves you and he will love this baby too, I do how ever agree with you both. Vampires are known for there aggressive nature and they are not known for playing nice, you need to take control of the situation Ava you need to show them your strength and dominance but you can only do that with Faiban by your side, if it doesn't work then you execute who ever stands against you” he says looking at me sympathetically. I nod taking a deep breath “thank you dad” I say hugging him tightly.

Life is getting so complicated again, how am I supposed to be an Alpha a queen of the vampires and a partner to the demon king plus a mother to a mixed breed baby. I take a walk to my quiet spot and concentrate on my inner voices “girls how are we supposed to do this?” I ask, Isla answers first “Ava everything about you screams leader, you have royal blood running through every vein, were carrying a future heir to another throne” she says “we can do this, trust in us and believe in yourself” Sky says I nod my head “thank your guys” I say.

“Faiban” I call out within seconds I feel his dark presence “we need to talk” I say patting to the ground, he takes a deep sigh and sits down “Ava I was out of line, your right we should be recruiting more allies not making more enemies” he says and I could see in his eyes he meant it, I shoulder nudge him and smile “we need to call a meeting it's time they see who I truly am and what I am truly capable of, it's time to unite all of the supernatural community, but I can't do it without you Faiban” I say making him smile.  

He cups my face and closes the gap kissing my lips desperately taking back all his words in one fowl swoop, I kiss him back feeling the pull to him. He pushes me down to the ground and hovers over me stroking down my arms to my waist, savouring every touch I can feel the struggle in him now, I'm done holding back it's time to embrace the change everything about this feels right. I pull him towards me and undo his jeans, he lifts my skirts and slowly pulls down my pants kissing down my thighs as he moves, I feel myself quivering beneath him my body feels hot all over and the sparks spread through me as he kisses the inside of my thigh, the intense pleasure I feel with him is overwhelming “I need you now” I say my breath raspy “what about you know” he says looking down “he will be fine” I say pulling him towards me.

He positions himself between my legs and gently pushes into me, my body is trembling all over from the electricity his body is giving me, his length fits me perfectly. I moan lowly into his mouth as he kisses me I move across to his neck kissing and nipping at him, a deep moan comes out of his mouth and all I feel in this moment is love and warmth, he slowly moves in and out of me bringing himself all the way out and pushing his full length back in I can feel my core getting wetter with his every thrust, his slow and passionate movements as so delicate and make this feel amazing. I begin to tighten around him, feeling my canines elongate hearing Sky howl lightly and Isla excited I brush them against his skin, he starts to pulsate as I spasm I feel the orgasm building and I can't help but bite down into his soft skin, he moans loudly as we both climax together. When I bite down on him I see the day he fell in love with me and it surprises me that it was the day he asked me out to that club.

Feeling out of breath I lay on his chest, “I wasn't expecting that today” he says, I stroke my mark on his collarbone and he shivers from my touch “I hope you don't mind that I marked you I couldn't help it” I say looking into his black shimmering orbs “I don't mind but you do know demons mark there beloved as well” he says, leaning down and lifting my skirt to reveal the mark he's left on the inside of my thigh, it looks like a small phoenix tattoo “I never even felt it, what does the phoenix mean” I say surprised, “Ours isn't quite a bite, the phoenix is a symbol of rebirth, because of my immortality” he says putting my skirt back straight brushing his fingers lightly across my mark it made me shiver slightly.

“I can feel your emotions” he says, “yeah? What do you feel?” I ask curiously “love” he says kissing my cheek “confidence” he says kissing me again but on my nose “and power” he says kissing my lips, I kiss him back passionately until I feel a little kick, I laugh “I think it's time for food I say” looking up at Faiban “how about we go get washed up and I'll take you somewhere special” he says smiling “yeah okay that would be nice” he holds on to me and teleports us back to his home “why are we here, I don't have any clothes” I say, he smiles at me “I brought you some maternity clothes” he says with a smirk “you did?” I ask looking at him with gratitude “Show me” I say, he walks me to his bedroom.

His room was painted a light grey with a dark blue feature wall, everything was glass and chrome like his office, he walks to the closet opening it up wide and I was surprised, half of his closet was just clothes for me “I hope you don't mind I peaked at what size clothes you wear” he said running his fingers down my arm gently, leaving little sparks “I don't mind but I am a bit surprised by how many clothes you brought me” I say looking through the dresses “what should I wear?” I ask him not knowing where he plans to take me, he eyes me suspiciously “you go shower and I will lay your outfit out on the bed” he says, “aren't you going to take a shower as well?” I ask him biting on my bottom lip seductively, a smile widens across his face “oh you want me to join you?” he asks lifting his eyebrows surprised, “I will be in there, if you want to come that's up to you” I say taking off my clothes slowly in front of him and walking towards his bathroom, I can sense his arousal through the bond.

I switch on the shower waiting until it's the right temperature, I look in his cabinet and was surprised again that he had female products for me. I picked up the bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body wash that were all rose and strawberries. I step into the shower and enjoy the warm water running over my body, I feel his dark presence and I'm thrilled as he's stood in front of me in his naked glory. His body had scars across his chest and stomach, I ran my hands down his body as he entered the shower, I felt his body quiver under my touch. Every scar was stroked by my fingers or kissed by my lips, he held my face and lifted my head up to his eye level “I love you Ava” he said and I could feel it, his emotions they rolled off him in waves “I love you too Faiban” his eyes sparkled lightly, we washed each other gently and being bonded to him felt right, he was like the missing piece of a puzzle that I had lost.

Faiban had laid a beautiful teal dress out on the bed for me, it was a mid thigh dress that framed my ever growing breasts, it flowed out giving my bump room. I put my hair up in a high bun, I looked in the mirror and was surprised by my reflection, I felt like royalty. “You know you look like a queen in that dress sweetheart” said Faiban kissing me on my cheek “but your missing something” he said putting a green emerald necklace around my neck “perfect” he said his eyes changing to his dark shimmering colour. “where are we going?” I asked, batting my eyelashes “somewhere fit for a queen” he said wrapping his arms around my waist. Within moments were stood inside a big restaurant, the walls where all glass and the chairs and table where silver and decorated with navy blue embroidery.

A tall man stood in front of us “this way your majesty” he said, pointing to a secluded booth it was concealed with a large gargoyle statue “can I get you a drink your majesties?” he said, “yes please I will have a lemon water” Faiban ordered the same, he smiled looking at me “what?” I asked “you didn't correct him when he called you your majesty” he said, I suddenly realised “no I guess I didn't” I said smiling about my status for the first time. The waiter came back with our menu's and drinks “order whatever you want your majesty” Faiban said with a smirk on his lips, I rolled my eyes at him and opened up my menu hiding my smile “you forget I can feel your emotions” he said and I could feel the joy in him. I had a look at the menu and decided on the spinach and ricotta ravioli, whilst we waited for our meals to come out we talked about the situation we have to deal with “so when do you want to set up the meeting?” he asked, “as soon as possible we need to deal with the problem head on” I say feeling the confidence surging through my body. I love that being with Faiban I don't have to hide the darkness that lies within, he's not asking me to be anybody but who I am.  

Our meals came out and I couldn't wait to tuck in, he laughed lightly looking at my expression “dig in sweetheart” he said, I didn't waste a moment in devouring my meal “would you like a pudding? Your majesty?” the waiter asked and I nodded “yes please chocolate fudge cake” I said hunger still evident in my eyes “this baby is turning me into an eating machine” I say to Faiban, he smirked “I love that you enjoy your food” he says, licking his lips and I could feel the lust bubbling up inside him again. My chocolate fudge cake came out and I was practically drooling, I took a huge fork full and stuffed it into my face moaning from the chocolate goodness “stop it your making me feel like eating you like that” he said, making me feel excited by his words. I sucked the chocolate off the fork looking into his eyes, they had turned dark and glimmering again I knew then that I was biting off more than I could chew.