last Hope

Starting Again

Lily

    *Today*

After ten long years, we are finally going back to the pack. I’m about to turn eighteen and I haven’t seen or heard from anyone in the pack in all that time I was away.

My Dad is different, he changed ten years ago when we first left the pack, and he had changed again when Mom disappeared two years ago. He’s been closed off like me since we left the pack and now he hasn’t taken her leaving for so long very well, even though it’s been almost two years since she vanished. He started to drink and beat me about a year after she left, but I’m not really sure why. Maybe I did something to make her leave. Maybe it's because I was born in the first place. I don’t really mind though as long as he doesn’t do the same thing to the boys, luckily he hasn’t touched them and I don’t plan on letting him either. 

I have plenty of scars from over the years though, and not just from my Dad's beatings. I started hurting myself about a year ago, only a little while after Dad started hurting me, so no one has noticed. Not that they would care anyways. The boys are the only family I have now, and even they haven’t really noticed the difference between them. And I don’t plan on letting them either. 

Tomorrow we’re going back to the pack and it’s my eighteenth birthday. However, I haven’t celebrated my birthday in years, and I don’t plan on changing that either. No one cares and neither do I. 

I am a little worried though. When a Werewolf turns eighteen they go through their first shift and can then take their wolf form on demand. It’s supposed to be extremely painful and I don’t want to go through it alone, but I don’t really have much of a choice. Once a Were goes through your first shift they are also allowed to find their mate. It’s like a magnet turns on when you turn eighteen and you and your partner start to get pulled closer together until you eventually find each other. Some people are lucky and find their partner almost immediately, and some aren’t so lucky and often have to wait years before finally finding their other half. 

So, when midnight comes around I’m going to be where no one can hear or find me. I don’t want to scare the boys or give Dad another reason to hurt me. It’s bad enough as is.

-

When eleven o’clock comes around, I silently slip into the back yard and run into the forest where no one can find or hear me. After I get a ways away I slow down a bit and keep walking for a while. When I finally stop walking I’m deep in the forest next to a beautiful crystal watered lake. Not long later midnight comes around and, just like my Dad told me when I was young, I start shifting. 

I drop to the ground experiencing more pain than ever before, much worse than when Dad is hurting me or when I’m hurting myself. I can hear bones breaking and skin shedding as my body starts morphing into something completely different. I can’t help but scream at the top of my lungs with the pain only getting worse and worse as time goes by and my consciousness threatens to slip through my fingers. 

Then, all of a sudden, I’m in someone's arms. It feels so safe and familiar, so mid-shift I force myself to look up towards the person comforting me through the pain. All I see are dark ocean blue eyes staring at me full of worry. They are so beautiful and familiar I can’t help but gasp. 

He pulls me close to his chest and just holds me until it is deathly silent and the pain finally leaves my body with only a bit of soreness. I was worn out and just laid there in the arms of the person who stayed by my side through the whole thing. I felt thankful though. Thankful that someone found me and didn’t make me endure the pain alone. 

I could finally stand after a while and got a better look at the person who comforted me. It was Luca. It had to be. He’s a lot bigger than when we were kids, and he is covered in muscle. But he has the same unique beautiful ocean blue eyes and light brown hair. 

Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. His scent. He smells like freshly cut grass and rain. At that moment, I hear it in the back of my mind.

‘Mate.’