IDOL

Chap-20

After one year;

"Yohoo!

" Brian was running around with a smile on his face

I chuckled looking at Brian, who was running behind Joe.

"He is so happy. I haven't seen him so happy ever before." Ashley said, looking at them playing around.

I nodded my head with a proud smile on my face.

Through the last year, my only goal was to bond with Brian and make him confident so that no one can mess with him. After a while, i moved back to my house which Anthony gifted me. Everything was untouched. I felt a home feeling when i entered in it. Brian really liked the house too. I had to hire staff to look after the house and Brian. Brian was always so afraid of me leaving him that whenever i used to go out for work or anything, he used to throw a fit. I had to work hard on creating our trust and develop a proper mother and child bond. But in the end my hard work pay off. He was now independent and instead tells me to take care of myself.

"When are you going to celebrate his 9th birthday?" She asked, putting her hands in her long brown coat.

"When we arrive in New Zealand. I have talked to Do-yun, he said he will take care of everything. I want to surprise Brian when we reach there." I said, with a big smile on my face. I couldn't hide my excitement.

"That's really good. I am proud of you. You are such a good mother." She said, giving me a side hug.

Ashley, Asher,Do-yun, his family and my family, we decided to go for a trip. We all had a long tiring year and kids winter vacation also started so we thought it's the best time for the trip. Do-yun was living in New Zealand as his wife belongs from there, so they went there for a trip. When Do-yun got to know that we are planning for a trip, he insisted we come here and together we will have fun. Do-yun and Asher knew each other back then so they all took care of the things and the next two weeks we are here in airport waiting for our flight for New Zealand.

I remember Seo-joon and Sirius members from time to time. I smile when i remember the time we had spend together. The smiles, jokes, tease and tears we shared together, all gone in one sway. Sometimes, when I am really missing them, i see their pictures and feel a little better. I didn't had the energy nor interest in activating my accounts. I don't want to see hate messages or tweets anymore. Neither i have time for that. I saw their posters and news on Tv that they were coming here to release their new album. I was so happy to hear that and wished i could support them. I sometimes have this thought, do they even think about me or worried about me?.

How do i know. When i am not even in contact with them.

When i moved here, after six months, i received an email from Elxir. But i didn't open it and it's still unread. I was done with Elixir,not with Sirius. I still remember that day, every event was printed into my memory. After i came here, i even had a dream about Seo-joon. He was desperately looking for me and i was standing right before him but he couldn't see. Like i was invisible to his eyes.

I couldn't sleep the other night and kept thinking about him. I remember the nights we used to sit in the balcony and talk about life. He used to tell me the hurdles he faced during his career and how he handled it. He never once gave up and kept going. He told me how he made himself strong and independent. He used to give me tips to how to be a better and strong person. He had changed me a lot. He showed me what life is. He made me realize if i need to love anyone, first i need to love myself and my flaws. He made me strong and a better version of myself and for that i was forever grateful.

"You said you have to tell us something. What is it?" Asher asked, handing me a bag of chips.

"Oh yeah. I totally forgot about that." I said, looked back at kids.

"I told him about Anthony being his dad. And that he has died." I looked back at them, they both blinked and nodded their heads.

"Was he okay?" Ashley asked worriedly,

"You will be surprised to hear that but he didn't. Actually he asked me about him. Like what he used to do, what food he liked, his favorite color. Things like that. He actually handled the news very calmly." I told them.

"I told you, he is very mature of his age." Asher said, putting peanuts in his mouths.

"Yes. So i let him adjust to this new information for a few days then i took him to his grave. He talked to Anthony like he has known him for his lifetime. He told him about how a good mother i am, how i take care of him." I said, taking a deep breath and looked back at Brian, who met my eyes and waved at me.

Smiling i waved back.

"He is just like him. Mature and caring." Ashley said, grabbing my hands in hers for comfort.

I nodded my head and blinked several times, trying hard not to cry.

"Yeah. I hope he really turns out to be like him." I said, smiling through my pain..

"I am sure he will." Asher said, with a confident smile.

After a long tiring journey, we were here in New Zealand. The weather was cold and chilly but i liked it. Kids were jumping in excitement as they had recharged their energy by sleeping in the airplane. We wheeled our bags to the entrance where Do-yun said he was waiting for us.

"Oh my. I almost didn't recognize you." I heard his voice before i saw him. Turning to my left, he was staring at me with a surprised look.

"What? Didn't like it?" I asked, smiling. Pushing my short ombre dyed hair back behind my ear.

I used to have long brown hair but when i am moved to US. I decided to change my hair style and color. New hair new year.

"You look pretty. It really suits you, Eun Aee." He said and came to hug me.

I hugged him back and sighed.

He knew what happened and everything. He even called Luca and fight for me, but i already told him that it will be of no use. It's their rule.

Do-yum only said, " rules my ass"

"Auntie!" I felt a small body attach to my leg.

Looking down i saw a cute brunette with big doe eyes looking at me. My heart melted at the sight. Picking her up, i kissed her cheek. She giggled.

Brittany was 5 years old and daughter of Do-yun.

"I miss you, baby girl." I said and kissed her as she giggled.

"I missed you too." She said, hugging my neck.

"Mama who is that?" Brian asked me as he stood looking at me and then at the girl in my arms.

"Oh, it's your Uncle's daughter. Your cousin." I said and put Brittany down.

"Brian this is Brittany. Brittany baby, this is Brian. My son." I said, Brian moved forward and shakes her hand.

Brittany smiled shyly and shoke his hand.

"Wow. Did i just saw two cute lovers smiling at other each other?" Eden said, coming towards me with a broad smile.

"Eden!" I hugged her tightly and smiled. She was Do-yun's wife.

"I missed you girl." She said moving back and looking at me up and down

"What?" I asked in between chuckles.

"You look sexy babe." She said winking at me.

I laughed along with others and thanked her. She is straightforward and funny.

Getting into the cars we started another journey but in a new country.

Pulling the covers up to his neck, Brian sighed as he sleeps. I woke up early in the morning, wanting to breath the fresh air and watch the sun. Covering myself with some warm clothes i walked out of the house quietly as everybody was fast asleep. Closing the door behind me, i took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Opening my eyes, i walked on the steps made out of stone on the fresh green grass. In front of me was a road and on the other side was water. I decided to sit near by the sea shore so i crossed the road and walked on the grass. The path was irregular and grassy not rocky at all. After a while, i saw benches near the sealing, preventing from entering water. I took a seat on one of the benches and put my hands in my coat as the chilly breeze picked up its speed a little. Only Bird's and i were sitting outside in the cold. I decided to take a walk in the neighborhood. I could see only few people outside, i guess rest were still fast asleep. Do-yun told me that this area is especially for guests as they have such a nice view in front of them. And i couldn't disagree more.

It was 8am in the morning, so i decided to go back home.

"Hello!"

Looking up, i found a little girl with two ponytails on either side of head dancing along as she ran towards me.

"Hey." I smiled and knelled down.

"Do you live there?." She asked, pointing towards our house in which we were living.

I nodded my head as i directed my eyes back to her from my home.

"Can i come with you? I want to play with boys." She said, excitingly, putting her little hands in her mouth as she stared at me wide eyed.

She was so cute.

"You are Lily?" I asked her, caressing her face. Her cheeks were rosy red due to cold air.

Brian and Joe told us that they made a friend near by and her name was Lily.

"Yes!" She said, with a cute smile.

"Why don't you ask your parents first and then come with me?" I said and stood up from the ground.

"Okay." She said and grabbing my hand she ran towards her home, making me walk with her. I shake my head in amusement as i stared at her.

She entered the house and i quietly walked in behind her.

"Mommy! Daddy!" She yelled as she ran towards to left.

I stopped and looked around the house. It was comfy and nice.

"Who did you bring?. Lily! How many times i told you not to talk to strangers!?" Her mother said to her as i could hear their footsteps nearing.

"It's okay Darling." It must her dad.

A couple walked in with Lily.

"Hello." I greeted them with a kind smile.

"Hello." Her mom said, awkwardly, feeling uncomfortable.

"Hello Miss?" The black haired guy soft asked me

"Eun Aee. You must be worried who i am. Actually, i live next door and Lily happens to befriend my son." I told them.

They relaxed and smiled at me.

They made me sit and told me they knew about Brian and Joe as Lily told them about making new friends. They have met both them as they were the ones who gave them candies.

"Oh. I scolded Brian so much as why he accept candies from people." I chuckled and patted Lilly head who was sitting beside me eating a cookie.

"Thank you so much for the coffee and your hospitality. I must go now. It was nice meeting you." I told them, standing up the couch.

"It was nice meeting you too, Eun Aee. I hope to see more of you and your son." Lily's mother- Lisa said, giving me a smile.

"I will send them later." I said to lily who was pouting.

They nodded their heads and i made my way out of their house. My phone was ringing for a while now, they all must be worried about me. I cut the call and ran to my house.

"Ya!. Tae-ri! Ya!" I stopped in my tracks as i heard someone yelling. I felt goose bumps form on my arms.

I turned back around and looked around and found a black Van. But there was no one. I am sure the voice belongs to Tae Oppa. I walked towards the Van but found no one near it or in it. I looked up at the house where the Van was parked.

Could it be them?.

My foot stepped towards the door automatically but i stopped as memories rush back into my head.

"Eun Aee!" An arm grabbed me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

It was Do-yun who was holding my arm and looked worried.

"What are you doing here? Why didn't you pick up your phone!? We were worried sick." He said and sighed.

Shaking his head he looked at the house i was looking at before.

"What are you doing in front of someone's house? Did you forget the house we are staying in?" He asked.

"Ye-yeah. I forgot as they all look the same and even the color." I lied and chuckled.

"God, Eun Aee. You should have called us. Anyway, let's get going. Brian is crying for an hour now."

Brian!. s**t.

I ran towards the house and stumbled my way in.

"Mama!" I knelled down as he slammed into my chest. Crying loudly.

"Baby. Stop crying. Mama didn't leave you. Mama was just outside taking a walk." I cooed him, caressing his head.

He hiccuped as he pulled away.

"You didn't leave me?." His bloodshot eyes staring back at me, breaking me heart into million pieces.

"No baby. Mama promised you, if she leaves somewhere she will take you along with. My baby, you have nothing to worry about, i will stay with my son forever." I said softly and kissed his head and wiped his face.

"I am sorry Mama." He said and hide his face in my neck.

He was sorry for doubting me.

I told him he had nothing to be sorry about. It was my fault. I promised myself i will work harder on us, on our bond.

After everything chilled, we ate breakfast and decided to go out. Do-yun and Asher decided the places to visit. Asher, Ashley and all kids in one car, Do-yun, Eden and i in the other.

Eden kept teasing Do-yun and me laughing at them.

"You need a man, sis." Eden said to me, as i watched them with a smile.

I sighed and looked outside.

I don't need any man. I want Seo-joon, who i can't get.

From the corner of my eye, i saw Do-yun shaking his head at Eden.

They kept talking on the way and i listened to them, while lost in my own thoughts.

My mind went back to that day when Brian asked me that he wants a dad just like his friends have. I tried telling him that he can't have right now. He got upset at that. I wish i could explain it to him.

"We are here." It was Auckland Zoo.

Kids were jumping in happiness and squealing in excitement. It was really beautiful. After an hour of constant squealing and running around, kids were tired. There was a mart, so we decided to do rest for a while as feed kids as they were hungry.

Then our next destination was an amusement park. Even we elders became kids when we saw different rides. Taking turns, we all had fun. Do-yun was always scared of roller coasters. A smirk formed on my face as i looked up at the huge track of roller coaster.

"Hey Do-yun. Remember our bet?" I said to him.

Who was hiding behind Eden, thinking i wouldn't notice.

"What bet?" Eden asked me, with a teasing smile on her face.

"The bet was that whenever we meet again we will go on a roller coaster and see who gives up first." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Ohoo." Ashley said, looking at Do-yun who was looking at the fast speeding roller coaster.

He gulped and looked back at me with a pleading look.

"Are you scared man?" Asher said, patting his shoulder. Trying to rile him up.

Do-yun clearer his throat and stood up straight and dusted his coat.

"Who is scared?. Me? Ah. No. I am not." He said, putting up a facade.

"Then let's go. What are you waiting for?" Eden said, nudging him in my direction.

He cursed as we all laughed and walked in. Only i and Do-yun went as it was our bet. The rest stayed and waited to watch us.

"You will regret bringing that up." He said with lowly deadly voice.

"Like i am scared of you? Buckle up brother, don't want you flying out of the seat." As soon as words left my mouth, his face turned pale.

I chuckled at him and patted his arm. Trying to relax him.

I was holding my ear while i chuckled. Do-yun was silent behind me, walking slowly.

"That was nice." Ashley said, teasing.

"He broke my ear with his girly screams throughout the ride." I said,

Looking at him.

He glared at me and scoffed. I kept laughing at him throughout the ride. He had a death grip on my arm and kept screaming.

"Come on. Let's eat. I am hungry." He said and started walking.

"Of course. You will be hungry after you threw out your lunch" i said and laughed as he turned back to look at me as gave me his best death glare. But it was of no use, he was all bark and no bite.

We all laughed at him as he walked scoffing.

After all the fun, we decided to call it a day by going to our last destination. A food street. The sun has set and everywhere you could see lights brightened up the area.

On either side was food stalls and in between was a large space made for sitting. It was very crowded. I was tired after all the rides. Ashley and i love rides, we took the most rides and revived our old memories whilst make new too.

"Hey, call me when food comes. These kids will eat my brains out if i didn't take them to the jumping castle." Ashely said fed up with the kids.

I chuckled at her and rest my head against the chair. Later, i was drinking water, when i saw Ashley running towards us.

"Guys." She gasped for air. Kids looked worried too.

Brittany and Joe was there. Brian. I looked around them but couldn't find him.

"Guys, Brian got lost. He was playing then i don't know where did he went." She said,

I felt my heart stop.

Brain!.

"Did you look around the play area?" Asher asked her,

"Yes. God. Please go and find him. I am so sorry, Eun Aee."

Walking towards her, i hugged her. I felt my heart beating hard against my ribcage.

"It's okay. Relax. Let's find out. One person stay here with the kids and rest split!" I said and picked up my phone.

Ashley stayed with the kids who had fallen silent since they came back. We all split and started to find him.

"Excuse me, have you seen this kid?" I asked, showing an image of Brian to a shopkeper.

They said sorry and shake their heads. I kept hearing no and still no sign of him.

I put my back against a wall and closed my eyes.an hour has passed and no sign of him.

Where are you Brian?.

My phone started ringing, bringing it up to my face i saw the caller id.

Quickly picking up, i put it near my ear.

"Eun Aee. We found him. Come to place we were sitting. Take a deep breath okay." He said and hang up.

I sighed and felt i could breath now. I ran towards the area where we were sitting. Pushing my hair back, i walked towards them.

I looked up and stopped at the sight in front of me.

Sirius was sitting in front of me.

"Mama!" They all looked up at me as Brian ran towards me.

They wore shock and surprised looks. Looking away from them while my heart ache. I hugged Brian and took a deep breath.

"Mama, i am sorry. I saw a cat and followed it. Then i forgot the way. I am sorry." His small voice reached my ears.

Nodding my head, i pulled away and kissed his cheek.

"It's okay, baby. Next time, don't do this, okay. Mama was so worried about you." I said, caressing his head. At the same time i was trying to calm my nerves.

"Are you okay?" Do-yun asked.

I looked up at him. His question had two meanings.

Was i okay, seeing Sirius sitting in front of me.

Or

Was i okay, as Brian got lost and found.

I nodded my head.

"How did you find him?" I asked him

"This gentleman found him and was asking around for his mother." Eden said, pointing towards a person.

I followed her finger and met those black orbs looking right back at me. I felt like i have lost my voice as i saw him.

Seo-joon.

"Please take a seat." It was Nam-joo who said to me. Others were either sitting like a stature or looking between Brian and me.

"Thank you for taking care of my son." I said to them and looked back at Do-yun.

"Where are the others?" I asked him, Brian gestured Do-yun to pick him, wiggling in my grip.

"They are waiting for us." He said, picking him up from my arms.

"Let's go then." I said,

Looking back at them. I made eye contact with each one of them. They looked the same despite their different hair colors. Tae Oppa was looking at me with pursed lips, Ho opppa was threw me a glace, Tae-ri had his head lowered, fidgeting with his fingers and Baek kyung gave me small smile. Nam-joo was looking at me with hopeful eyes and lastly i met those dangerous eyes. I felt my heart skip a beat with the intensity he was looking at me.

"Thank you again. I am really grateful for your kindness." I said, formally.

Turning my back, i started walking with a heavy heart.

"Eun Aee!" I stopped in my tracks but didn't look back.

"Please can we talk?" Seo-joon said once he came near me.

I could feel his warmth radiating from him. Biting my lip, stopping myself from saying yes.

"I will think about it." I said coldly and started walking. He didn't follow me again but i could feel his stare at my back.

I blinked trying not to tear up as those hidden emotions hit me again.

"You should have talked to him." Do-yun said as we reached our table.

I sighed and took a seat as others hugged and caressed Brian.

We didn't run into Sirius after that. I kept thinking about the past and now.

~~~~~~~