Chapter ten.
1065 Words
Renna's POV.
The classroom was empty now.
He was still standing by the desk at the front of the room, his sleeve rolled to his arm.
I stayed near the middle row, my fingers gripping the strap of my bag so tightly my knuckles had gone white from gripping too tight.
He broke the silence first.
“Renna.” His voice was quiet.
I forced a breath out. “Professor Cross,” I answered automatically, because my brain had no idea which name was safe anymore.
A small, dry smile tugged at his mouth. “I suppose that’s what we’ll have to call me in here.”
He set the marker down and came around the desk. Each step he took was unhurried, the way he always moved, as though he’d thought about every action a second before doing it.
“I didn’t expect to see you in this course,” he said. “You were registered under another faculty.”
I crossed my arms, trying to keep my voice steady. “You knew I was a student.”
“I did.”
“But you didn’t think I’d ever end up in your class.”
His jaw tightened. “No. I honestly didn’t. I thought there’d be distance... enough to make sense of things.”
“Distance?” I repeated. “That’s what that apartment was supposed to be? Distance?”
He exhaled, looking past me toward the rows of desks. “It was supposed to be safe. For both of us. A place outside the noise. I never expected this.”
I shook my head. “You could’ve told me. One sentence.. that’s all it would’ve taken.”
“I should have.” His admission was immediate, not defensive. “I just held onto the believe that maybe we wouldn't run into each other around here."
I let out a shaky laugh. “Guess the universe has a sense of humor.”
He smiled faintly at that, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “A cruel one.”
For a while neither of us spoke.
Finally, I asked the question that had been pressing on me since the moment I recognized him. “What happens now?” I finally broke the silence, letting out the one question that had been pressing on me since the moment I recognized him.
He looked down, clasping his hands together. “Now we act like adults who understand where the lines are.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s what keeps us sane,” he said. “You keep your focus here. You pass this class, you graduate, you build the life you want. And I...” He stopped, as if searching for the right words. “nevermind, we just enjoy each moment as it comes by, no questions asked."
The simplicity of it made something inside me ache.
“You make it sound so clean,” I said. “But it’s not. It never was.”
He nodded once. “You’re right. It isn’t. And that’s why we have to be careful.”
I looked at him for a long moment. He wasn’t the man from the hidden apartment now; he was the person standing at the front of a classroom, sleeves rolled up, looking as hot as I have always known him, and yet so professional.
“I’m not mad that you’re a lecturer,” I said finally. “I’m mad that you didn’t tell me. You caught me completely off guard.”
He met my eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching like he wanted to apologize but didn’t know how. “You deserved honesty. I just didn’t know how to give it without losing what little we had.”
I laughed softly. “You really think you could’ve hidden forever?”
“No.” He leaned against one of the desks, crossing his arms. “But I hoped for longer than a few weeks.”
Something in his tone took the most out of my anger.
“I didn’t come here to accuse you,” I said after a moment. “I just needed to understand why.”
He nodded slowly. “Because I was selfish. I didn’t think I could stand the disappointment in your eyes. I didn’t want you to look at me and see the title, or the rules that comes with all this.”
“I still don’t,” I admitted. “But I can’t pretend I don’t know anymore.”
He gave a small nod, the lines at the corners of his eyes deepening. “That’s fair.”
There was silence again. It wasn’t the cold silence from before; it was softer, like both of us were catching our breath after saying too much.
“You don’t have to worry,” I said finally. “I’m not going to make trouble for you.”
His gaze softened. “That’s not what I was worried about.”
“Then what?”
“That you’d start regretting everything.”
I thought about it, the chaos of the past weeks, the confusion that hadn’t really left. “I don’t regret it,” I said quietly. “I just don’t know where to put it now.”
He smiled. “That’s enough honesty for one day.”
I managed a small smile back. “You’re good at calming people down, you know that?”
“Part of the job description.”
“I meant outside the classroom.”
He looked at me, his gaze intensely fixated on me, and for a heartbeat the air felt heavier. Then he straightened, pulling the distance back into place.
“Go home, Renna,” he said gently. "Perhaps take a walk, maybe this will all feel a little less strange."
“Will it?”
“It has to.”
"For what it’s worth, I’m glad it’s you teaching this course, maybe it won't be as boring as it could've been.”
A brief spark of surprise crossed his face, followed by a small smile. “That’s dangerously flattering coming from a student,” he said, but his voice was soft.
“Then pretend you didn’t hear it,” I said, and turned around, heading out of the class.
Halfway through, I suddenly paused on my track, and turned back to him. "You know what? I don't wanna take a walk, I want something else in replacement."
- Writer
