The Real Me

Chapter 10. The Moment Of Vulnerability

Anastasia's Pov

“What’s got you guys so happy?” Beatrice asked as she walked up and stood in front of our table.

“Karter, we’re leaving!” Felix called out, making me turn to look at him as he and Samuel headed for the door.

It suddenly hit me that it was just me, Gilbert, and Beatrice left in the classroom.

Where did everyone go?

“Alright, guys!” Gilbert shouted to them before turning to Beatrice.

“What’s your problem?”

“Nothing, just wanted to let Anas know we should leave,” Beatrice replied playfully.

But I could see that wasn’t the whole truth, and it made me wonder what was going on between them.

There seemed to be something brewing beneath the surface, as Gilbert wasn’t as friendly with Beatrice as I had expected.

“You can leave; we’re not done talking yet,” Gilbert said, dismissing her.

But, true to her nature, Beatrice didn’t take the hint and instead turned her attention to me.

“Are you coming or what?” she asked, her tone light but her eyes probing.

"You can go ahead; I’ll come later," I replied, and Beatrice shot me a knowing smile that piqued my curiosity about what was really going on with her.

As she walked away, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to this situation than met the eye.

"You're so different from her, you know that, right?" Gilbert asked, drawing my attention back to him.

"Yeah," I nodded, smiling.

"How come you guys are friends?"

"We’ve been friends since we were kids," I started.

"I mean, she started attending the same school as me, and we were neighbors in our town, so we just clicked instantly."

I smiled at the thought. Beatrice and I had bonded the moment she joined my primary school.

I was known as the 'bad girl' of the class, and she came in as a beautiful and smart new student. We just fit perfectly together.

"Okay, you must have been a real troublemaker then," Gilbert said, a curious smile on his face.

"I wasn't really trouble," I replied, chuckling.

"I was just free with everyone back then, and I also happened to be one of the best students—academically, at least." I smiled at the memories.

"Really? So what happened to you? Why aren't you the same person you were before?"

"I don’t know," I shrugged, trying to brush it off as if it didn't matter.

"You know, Anastasia. You know! So tell me, why aren’t you as free as you were in your former school?" he pressed, his gaze piercing through me.

"I don't know. People change over time, I guess. It’s nothing," I replied, looking away, trying to shield myself from his scrutiny.

"Look at me, Ana." He touched my shoulder gently, turning me to face him.

My heart raced at the warmth of his fingers on my skin.

This wasn’t the first time he’d touched me, but it was the first time I felt nervous, my pulse quickening at the contact.

Maybe it was the solitude of the classroom or the weight of his questions that made me feel this way.

I wasn’t into him, though—at least, not like that. He was my type, sure, but I liked him as a friend. Nothing more.

"Anastasia!" His voice broke through my thoughts, and I raised my eyebrows, wondering why he had called my name. Had I spaced out while staring at him?

"Are you alright?" he asked, his eyes locking onto mine as if searching for something hidden deep within.

I dropped my gaze, nodding. I usually held people's stares for ages, but with Gilbert, his intensity made it impossible to maintain eye contact. His dark eyes felt like a vast ocean, and I feared I might drown in them.

"Can I ask you something?" he inquired after a moment. I nodded again, curious but apprehensive.

"Why do you have so much sadness in your eyes?" he asked, and my heart began to race even faster.

"What do you mean?" I replied, my voice trembling slightly.

I could feel my emotions threatening to spill, and I took a quiet, deep breath to steady myself.

How could he see my sadness when I hadn’t felt particularly sad today—or yesterday, or the day before?

"I mean, when I look into your eyes, I can see the forced happiness you try to project. It’s as if you’re deceiving not just others, but yourself," he said, his intense gaze unwavering.

I forced a laugh—a shaky, hollow sound that even I could tell was fake.

Gilbert looked at me with a mixture of concern and something I couldn't quite decipher.

Did he feel sorry for me, or was he judging me for being so transparent? I wasn’t ready to admit to him that I was a sad person.

"Uhm... it's just... I mean, it's okay to feel sad sometimes. I do feel sad occasionally because I'm not doing well academically since Form One, and it takes a toll on me," I finally admitted, seeing that my forced laughter hadn’t amused him.

It was true, but I only shared that minor part, hoping it would be enough to satisfy his curiosity and drop the subject. But I was wrong.

"Nice try, but I'm not trying to force you to share anything you're not comfortable with," he replied, his sincerity cutting through the tension.

"I want you to know that I'll be here for you whenever you feel like you can't hold it in any longer and want to confide in someone. I’ll be here for you."

His words struck a chord within me, my eyes began to prickle. I felt the familiar sting of tears, and before I could stop them, a single drop rolled down my cheek.

What was wrong with me? I thought I had become strong over time, impervious to emotions in any situation. Yet here I was, crying in front of him.

Gilbert's gaze followed the path of the tear, his expression softening. He reached out, his fingers gently brushing against my shoulder. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver through me, and I felt my defenses crumbling.

"Oh, Ana," he murmured, his voice low and soothing.

He pulled me into a warm embrace, his arms wrapping around me like a gentle hug. "Let it out. All of it. Just let it go."

I felt the tension in my body begin to unravel as he patted my back, his touch gentle and reassuring.

I cried, the sound of my own ragged breathing filled the silence.

Gilbert held me close, his chest a steady presence against mine. The world outside receded, leaving only the two of us, suspended in this moment of vulnerability.

After a while of crying, I hugged him tight feeling embarrassed and foolish for being so emotional when I was supposed to be strong. And of all people, I had to break down in front of Gilbert. What was happening to me?