The Real Me

Chapter 4. Getting To Know

Anastasia's Pov

"I was the one who read chapter 13 yesterday and explained it, so it's your turn," Gilbert said, making me look at him.

I hadn't mentioned that Beatrice was joining us, and I wasn't sure if I should tell him, especially since I wasn't certain if she'd show up.

But what if she arrived and we'd already started reading? I didn't want to start over, and I knew Beatrice would insist on it.

Maybe I should just let him know.

"Uh, I invited Beatrice to join us, and she said she's coming, so I think we should wait for her," I told him, looking at him uncertainly.

"Oh, okay. But why did you invite her?" he asked, not looking particularly pleased.

"She doesn't believe me when I say I was studying yesterday, so I invited her to see for herself today," I explained, not understanding his reaction.

"Oh, okay. And I was hoping it'll be just the two of us," he said, looking at me.

"We really make a good team when reading," he added, making me smile awkwardly.

I nodded, not knowing what to say.

"Read, I'm waiting," he said, gesturing to my book.

"Oh, I thought we were waiting for Beatrice," I said, glancing towards the path from the boarding house, hoping to catch a glimpse of her.

"Why do I feel like you want Beatrice here badly, like you don't want to be alone with me?" he said, looking at me seriously.

I frowned, taken aback by his perception. That wasn't my intention at all.

This kind of thing bothered me – when people jumped to conclusions about my thoughts without knowing the truth.

I forced a smile, not wanting to feel hurt.

"No, it's not that. I just don't want to start over when she comes because I know she'll want us to," I explained.

"Okay, but we can't start over because of her," he said, looking annoyed.

"But I did start over because of you yesterday," I pointed out with a laugh.

"That's different, and she's not worth it," he said, making me look at him in surprise.

I thought they got along, but his comment about Beatrice caught me off guard.

"Why would you say that? You know she's my friend," I said, waiting for an explanation.

"Yeah, it's nothing. I'm sorry about that," he said with a bright smile, and I knew he was avoiding the question.

"Can I ask you something personal? Please tell me the truth," I said, wanting to know more before speaking my mind about his comment on Beatrice.

"Yeah, sure. What is it?" he asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"I want to know if you and Beatrice are dating," I said, having heard a rumor and wanting clarification since Beatrice hadn't mentioned anything about it to me.

"What? No," he chuckled.

"We're not dating, and I wouldn't even date someone like her," he said, and I raised my eyebrows.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, sensing there was more to his statement.

"Uh, I mean she's not my type," he said, seeming unconvincing.

I got the feeling he was hiding something about Beatrice, whether out of fear of me telling her or not wanting me to know at all.

"So, why are you always asking about her?" I pressed, genuinely wanting to understand the dynamic between them.

"Well, she was just a messenger or something like a go-between for me and Bridget, you know her, right?" he said with a chuckle.

"You're dating Bridget?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, everyone in this school knows Bridget is my girlfriend. I was surprised you'd think I'm dating Beatrice," he said, amused.

I shouldn't have been blamed for being misinformed; I was often out of the loop about what was happening on campus unless someone told me.

"Now I understand the look she gave me this morning. It's likely 'stay away from my man'," I chuckled.

"She did that?" he asked, surprised.

"Yeah, when you guys were heading to the school building," I replied.

"I had no idea. So, are you going to stay away from me now?" he asked, looking amused.

"Uh, I don't know about that, unless you want me to," I said, smiling at him.

I was starting to feel more comfortable chatting with him.

"I'll never want that," he said pausing a little, "I mean, I feel comfortable when I'm with you, like I've known you forever."

He looked at me, catching my gaze, and I looked away, feeling shy and nervous again.

"So, tell me," he began, making me look at him.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Okay, now I think the conversation had shifted too quickly.

"No, I don't. I mean, I'm not even ready for something like that right now," I replied.

"Okay, may I know why you're not ready?" he asked.

"Nothing really," I said, pausing. "I just don't have it in me to be in a relationship... I've been in a relationship before, but we broke up within two weeks. After that, I knew I couldn't be in a relationship," I explained.

"Wow, you know, I never thought of you to have been in a relationship because you look so reserved and innocent," he observed.

I chuckled, aware that many people perceived me that way.

Most thought I was an innocent and quiet girl, but that was because they didn't know me well.

As an introvert, I only revealed my true self to those I got to know.

The real me was crazy, stubborn, and wild – the kind of person who would ask questions that made others uncomfortable.

My family and those I called friends had shaped me into the person I had become today, a person who had become full of insecurities and fears about not fitting in.

"Hey, you okay?" Gilbert's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

I must have spaced out for a moment.

"Yeah, I'm good," I smiled to assure him.

"Anas, Gilbert, good afternoon!" I heard Beatrice's voice from behind me.

I glanced at the time on my phone; it was almost 1 PM. See how late I'd have come if I had waited for her.

Gilbert responded to her greetings, and I just looked at her.

"I thought you weren't coming at all," I mocked her.

"No, oh, I just got a call from my mom. That's why," she said, and I knew at the moment that she's lying.

She sat on the other side of Gilbert, so close that if I didn't know the truth now I'll surely say they are lovers.

"So, you guys started already?" she asked, placing an exercise book on her lap.

That's when I noticed it was the only book she was holding. This girl was so not serious, but I couldn't blame her since I hadn't told her we were reading _The Invisible Man_.

"We were waiting for you, and we're reading _The Invisible Man_," I said, opening my novel.

"Oh, that book. I've read up to chapter 5. Where are you guys at?" she asked.

"Chapter 13, and that means you can't read with us," I said, looking at her to see if she'd suggest starting over.

"Yeah, but you guys can go ahead. I won't disturb you," she said.

I raised my eyebrows, surprised, and then it dawned on me that she hadn't come here to learn.

"Gilbert, can I have your phone?" she asked Gilbert, her voice soft, making me roll my eyes.

Was this how she talked to guys, or was it only Gilbert?

"What for?" Gilbert asked, his tone slightly annoyed, looking displeased.

"Just for pictures, nothing more, please," she said, giving him an innocent look, looking cute.

Beatrice was fair-skinned, just like Gilbert, and I could see they'd make a cute couple if they dated, given their matching skin tones.