The Real Me

Chapter 19. Breaking The Silence

Anastasia's Pov

Memories from that day surged back, yet the emotions remained just out of reach.

Gilbert's gaze lingered on mine, waiting for me to open up.

"Um, it was nothing really," I replied, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach my eyes.

I looked away, trying to brush off the emotions that threatened to surface.

Gilbert's expression remained thoughtful, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Tears don't just fall without a reason," he said, his sincerity piercing through my facade. "Something triggered them."

I shifted uncomfortably, feeling exposed.

Gilbert leaned in closer, his tone shifting to one of contemplation.

"Every time I see you sitting quietly in class, I notice how you try to shield yourself from everyone around you. You want to be seen, to feel a sense of belonging, yet as soon as someone approaches, you retreat. Why is that?"

His words resonated within me, sending a flutter through my chest. I avoided his gaze, struggling to collect my thoughts.

The silence between us grew, thick with unspoken emotions.

"I know you're guarded with me as well," he said softly, his voice breaking the silence.

"You're anticipating something negative from me, as if I might turn out to be just like everyone else."

I chuckled, the sound tinged with unease.

"I've always thought everyone was like me," I admitted, my eyes focused ahead.

"I don't understand hate or jealousy. I like people, no matter their flaws. If someone is kind to me, they instantly become my favorite."

Gilbert's gaze remained steady, his expression thoughtful.

"But I think that's not how life is supposed to work, right?" I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

The silence that followed was oppressive, weighing heavily on my shoulders.

I glanced at Gilbert, wondering if he'd understand what I was about to say.

"My mom only notices me when I achieve something remarkable," I continued, a bitter laugh escaping.

" 'My daughter got first in class!' " I mimicked her tone, the pride and satisfaction evident in her voice.

Gilbert's expression softened, his eyes filled with empathy.

"But when I share my struggles, that tone shifts," I said, my voice cracking. " 'You're so dumb like s**t, can't you behave like an adult?' " The words hung in the air, the sting still fresh.

Gilbert's gaze never left mine, his expression a mixture of understanding and compassion.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," he said, his voice gentle. "No one deserves to be treated like that, especially not by the people who are supposed to love and support them."

I shrugged, trying to brush off the emotions that threatened to surface.

"It's just how it is," I said, but Gilbert's gaze lingered on mine, as if he saw beyond my words.

"Is that why you're guarded around people?" he asked, his tone thoughtful. "Because you've learned to expect hurt or rejection from those closest to you?"

I picked at my hands, my eyes drifting down. "Well, part of it. At first, I thought it was normal. Parents discipline their kids, right? But later... it became too much." My voice trailed off, memories flooding back.

"My parents divorced when I was six," I continued, my voice barely above a whisper.

"My mom had to move in with her parents, and she brought us with her. My dad couldn't take care of us." The words spilled out, a mixture of pain and vulnerability.

Gilbert's eyes locked onto mine, his expression a map of concern. I met his gaze, and for a fleeting moment, I felt like he'd get it.

"It was a zoo, living with my mom's family," I said, a smile creeping onto my face.

"The house was bursting at the seams – aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents... everyone was under one roof."

Gilbert's lips twitched, and he chuckled. "Your family must be a football team, then." I laughed, the sound bubbling up from my chest.

"We're more than that," I said, grinning.

"They call us the Boateng's squad – the grandchildren, that is. And let me tell you, we're not exactly the easiest to mess with."

Gilbert's eyes sparkled with curiosity. "Why Boateng?" he asked, his voice low and interested.

I shrugged, a small smile still playing on my lips.

"It's my family's surname – the maternal side, that is. My siblings and I took our dad's surname, but the rest of the family sticks with Boateng. I used to want to change mine when I was younger, but that was just kid stuff."

Gilbert's eyes sparkled with curiosity.

"That sounds like a happy family. What changed?" he asked, his smile inviting me to share more.

My expression turned wry. "Hypocrisy, maybe? They say one thing, do another." Gilbert's gaze lingered, prompting me to elaborate.

"They've done a lot, but for me... it's the betrayals that sting. They think I'm nobody, so I'm not worth considering."

A faint smile crossed my lips as I thought of my cousin Nora.

"And then there's Nora. She loves to humiliate me, behind my back and in front of me and I think she's envious of me." I chuckled, a hint of irony in my voice.

"I mean, I'm not exactly stunning, but I'm definitely more knowledgeable than she is. Maybe that's what she's jealous of."

Gilbert's eyes met mine, his gaze warm. "Don't say that. You're beautiful."

His words caught me off guard, and I looked away, feeling a flutter in my chest.

My mind wandered to Nora – her fair skin, curvier figure.

I couldn't help but compare myself to her. While I liked my own body, sometimes I felt insecure about it. Gilbert's compliment lingered, making me wonder if he really saw me that way.

"Thanks, but you shouldn't be doling out compliments like that when you've got a girlfriend," I said with a teasing smile. "You'll give other girls false hope."

Gilbert burst out laughing, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Have you fallen for me?" he asked, his voice laced with amusement.

I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Of course not. Bridget would have my head," I said, laughing softly.

Gilbert's expression turned serious, his gaze holding mine.

"You're funny. You should let your guard down more often like this. Connect with people like you have with me. Don't just shield yourself, okay?"

His words felt like a gentle nudge, encouraging me to open up.

I met his gaze, feeling a sense of understanding pass between us.

"Okay."

I nodded, my voice barely above a whisper.

Gilbert's eyes crinkled at the corners as he beckoned me closer.

I hesitated for a moment before pushing forward.

His arms wrapped around me, pulling me into a warm hug.

I felt a rush of uncertainty, but my body seemed to know what to do. I rested my head on his neck, inhaling the scent of him, and wrapped my arms around him too.

"I don't know, but there's something about you that calms me," Gilbert said, his voice muffled against my shoulder.

"You remind me of someone I really care about."

My heart skipped a beat as I pulled back to look at him.

His face was inches from mine, his features chiseled and flawless. I couldn't help but notice the sharpness of his cheekbones, the soft pink of his lips.

"A family member?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me. Gilbert's eyes dropped, and he shook his head.

"No, a girl back in my town. She's... no more."

I saw the pain flicker across his face, and I felt a pang of sympathy.

"I'm sorry," I said softly, trying to offer what little comfort I could.

Gilbert's expression softened, and he smiled.

"It's okay. I have you now," he said, his words carrying a sense of reassurance.

His eyes locked onto mine, searching for something. "And I know you won't leave me just like her," he added, his gaze piercing.

I nodded, forcing a smile, though his words left me feeling uncertain.

What did he mean? And why did he think I'd leave?