I spent a long time composing my note to Melinda after that. I was so nervous about it, I forced myself to leave it unsent overnight so I could look at it with fresh eyes in the morning. New Year's Eve dawned stunning and clear, a gorgeous, snow-bright day. I opened my computer and read:
M,
I know what you're afraid of. But I'm not fragile. Please trust me. I know myself, and I can make these choices about my safety. Tell me when our next research session is. I'll be there.
A.
What I really wanted to say was: One mistake will never make me stop loving you. And I do love you. But these were our school email accounts. I had no idea how private they were when it came down to it. I'd have to be far, far more careful about confidentiality if I wanted to maintain Melinda's confidence in me
