WHISPER OF DESIRE

Chapter 3 - Island

Jerome looked at me as they walked away. He mouthed “sorry.” I just nodded and gave a small, tight smile, feeling the cold weight of the night pressing against my shoulders. My thoughts, of course, weren’t on him. They were on Evander. On the way he had looked at me earlier, the subtle twitch of his lips, the way his eyes had flicked with something I couldn’t name.

What the hell, Clementine? I scolded myself silently. I almost wanted to smack my own head.

The music and laughter continued around us, the bonfire crackling beside the sand. The night had grown colder, and I shivered, drawing my arms around myself. The faint scent of salt and smoke mixed in the air, sharp against my skin.

“You’re very quiet,” Alexander said softly, draping his jacket over my shoulders. The warmth of the fabric was sudden, grounding, and I silently thanked him.

“Is his presence bothering you?” he asked, his eyes scanning mine.

I shook my head lightly, forcing a casual smile. How strange it was, to think back seven years, when no one had known about the secret meetings Evander and I had had, the fleeting moments we had shared in private. Now, here, years later, people read me so well, and yet, they knew better than to ask too much. They understood that the questions would hurt.

Alexander had always understood. He had been my confidant, my anchor, the one I could reveal the cracks to when no one else could see them. And yet, when he told me the truth I wasn’t ready to hear—that Evander and Shiela were back together, engaged—I had barely been able to breathe.

I shook my head. “It’s fine. We were never anything. I’ve moved on. Why should his presence bother me?” My voice was calm, but the words tasted bitter in my mouth.

Alexander studied me quietly, his gaze steady. I turned toward the dark horizon. The night sky was dotted with stars, and the ocean stretched before us, black and endless. The view during sunrise had always been my favorite, the gentle glow warming my skin as if the world could forget its sharp edges. Tonight, under moonlight, it felt cold and distant.

Esthere had mentioned earlier that Shiela had changed. She was no longer the jealous, competitive girl I had known. Now, she had the man I had once loved. If only anyone knew the truth—the reason I had left—they would never forgive her. But I had remained silent, had hidden the real story, waiting for a time when the truth could safely emerge.

My gaze drifted back to Evander. He had returned from leaving the group earlier and was now laughing with Shiela. Calm, collected, untouchable. That should have been enough. That should have been fine. But it wasn’t. My chest tightened, my stomach fluttering against my ribs.

Even before I left, Esthere had insisted there had been something between us, that Evander had cared. But now, watching him with Shiela, seeing the ease between them, I couldn’t help but feel the meaning of our past had been negligible. A brief attraction. A phase. Something that had never truly belonged to me.

I had accepted that. I had made the decision to leave. I had loved him, but he hadn’t committed, hadn’t given himself to me. I had poured myself into him, unguarded, but it had been one-sided. I had learned the hard way that you could not cage someone’s heart. I could not force him to feel the same.

The next morning was a haze of sunlight, laughter, and the gentle slap of waves against the boat. Louise Xandra teased me relentlessly about the body shots from the night before, her voice teasing, slightly slurred. I caught Evander watching me, the faint curl of his lips betraying something I couldn’t define. Shiela’s eyes flicked toward me repeatedly, measuring, assessing.

Don’t worry, woman, I thought. I won’t play desperate games. You can have him. I am not the kind of girl who competes for affection. I smirked faintly, sipping my glass of wine, feeling its cool weight in my hand.

We went island hopping, the boat rocking gently beneath us. I wore my red bikini, the sun warm on my shoulders, the breeze tangling in my hair. Alexander talked about his work in Hong Kong, and I listened, but my mind drifted. I kept glancing at Evander. He stood near Shiela, her arms wrapped around him. My chest pinched despite myself.

I rolled my eyes and focused on the distant horizon, trying to ignore the tug in my stomach. “Are you even listening?” Alexander’s voice drew me back. He raised his eyebrows, noticing my distraction. I smiled faintly and leaned into him, letting the warmth of his presence anchor me.

“Yeah. I was just… looking at the nearest island,” I murmured.

He chuckled. “Oh, the most memorable island, right?”

I pinched his shoulder playfully. “Shut up,” I said with exaggerated annoyance, though a smile tugged at the corners of my lips.

Even as I laughed, my eyes kept returning to Evander. He noticed me. Each time our gazes met, I felt it—a small jolt in my chest, a flutter that left me breathless. And then, when I looked away, it lingered, a faint ache that refused to vanish.

Oh, Clementine, I thought. You shouldn’t hope. You shouldn’t care. You can’t compete with Shiela. Even after all this time, even after everything you’ve done, she is still the one he wants.

I forced myself to sip the wine again, letting the cool liquid slide down my throat. My fingers tightened around the glass, knuckles whitening, as if holding on to something tangible could steady me.

Alexander’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Are you… affected by this?” he asked, voice low, observing me.

I raised an eyebrow, pretending indifference. “Excuse me?”

“Are you affected?” he repeated, faint amusement in his voice.

I blinked, forcing a tight smile. Fine. I was affected. I had never felt desire for anyone else this past year. I still wanted him. I still hoped. The honesty lingered between us, heavy but unspoken.

I looked at Evander again. This time, he didn’t look away. His gaze held mine, intense, unyielding. My throat went dry, and I swallowed hard, unable to keep eye contact for more than a few seconds. I turned away, staring at the water, pretending not to feel the tremor that ran through me.

“I’ll take a dip. You, Clemmie?” I heard Axtel asking as he approached, shaking off water droplets that caught the sunlight.

I gestured vaguely, shaking my head. “I’ll go to the next island instead,” I said softly.

“Sure? It’s nicer below!” he insisted.

I shook my head again and nudged him away gently, my gaze flicking toward Evander one last time. He was still staring. I could almost feel it, a magnetic pull, before Shiela approached him again.

“I’m going swimming. Come with me, please,” she said, her voice sweet and smooth. I rolled my eyes.

“I’ll swim later. Next island, Shiela,” he replied calmly.

“Why not here? I’m swimming. I don’t have anyone else,” she said, scanning the group until her gaze landed on me. “They’re all busy…”

I raised my eyebrow and sipped my wine, the bitter taste a reminder of my own composure.

Of course, they weren’t busy. They never were. And of course, she had to be cunning enough to make it seem like I was the only obstacle.

Evander moved with her, resigned, while I stayed anchored beside Alexander. He seemed amused, watching me, allowing me to block all of her manipulations.

I exhaled quietly, feeling the tension slowly drain from my shoulders, even as a quiet ache lingered in my chest. I was learning, slowly, that I could watch, that I could feel, and that I could still protect myself without breaking.

The ocean sparkled beside us, the sun catching each wave like shards of glass. I held my glass of wine, feeling the warmth of the liquid and the sun on my skin, and reminded myself: I was here. I was alive. I had survived heartbreak before, and I could do it again.

Even if Evander remained untouchable, even if Shiela remained cunning and present, I could still choose peace, still choose myself. And maybe that, finally, was enough.