Chapter 3: CONTROL
1447 Words
I used to think control meant silence. That if I kept my head down and kept my secrets buried, I’d be safe. But Cassian’s control was different. He stripped me of the version of myself I’d spent years building and molded something else in its place. Something sharper. Something he owned.
The first lesson started in his penthouse, a cathedral of glass and shadow perched above the city, where the skyline was layered with clouds. I stood near the window, trying not to fidget, my reflection ghostlike against the dark glass. Cassian circled me like a predator, slow and deliberate with eyes burning with quiet calculation.
“Shoulders back,” he said, voice low. “You’re not a ghost, Julian. You’re a man. Start acting like one.”
I obeyed before I realized it. My spine straightened, chin lifted and hands unclenching from my sides.
“Good,” he murmured. “Now… look at me.”
I did. God help me, I did. His gaze locked onto mine, heavy, unrelenting, and my lungs forgot how to work.
“This,” he said softly, stepping closer until the scent of his cologne filled my head, “is the power of presence. Power doesn’t shout, it just watches and waits for the room to come under it.”
His fingers brushed under my chin, tilting it higher. I swallowed hard, pulse kicking against his touch.
“So when I tell you to speak, speak to me like the world is already under your control.”
I wanted to ask why any of this mattered here and why he needed me to be his puppet but still have control. It honestly didn't make sense to me but the words stuck in my throat. Because the truth was, a part of me wanted his approval. I wanted to be seen through his eyes and that scared the hell out of me.
The lessons became routine. Posture, speech, eye contact... How to hold a glass without looking uncertain. How to command attention in silence. But beneath every correction was something else, the ghost of a touch and the e flicker of something almost tender.
One afternoon, he reached for my tie because I’d knotted it wrong. He loosened it with a single tug, the silk sliding against my throat. And his fingers brushed my skin, deliberate and slow, as he retied it with surgical precision.
“You’re trembling,” he murmured, causing me to jump back to reality.
“I’m not.”
His mouth curved into a dangerous knowing smile. “You know you are. And now, I am certain those rumors weren't just rumors.” I froze and he stepped back, eyes glinting with amusement, as if he’d won a battle I hadn’t realized we were fighting. I tried to protest and say something but nothing seemed to slip out of my throat.
That night, as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, the phantom of his touch burned against my throat and I hated him for how easily he penetrated through me and hated myself more for letting him.
…………
By the third week, the whispers had started.
Saint Dorian’s wasn’t kind to scandal. I caught the stares in the halls and the murmured conversations that stopped when I entered a room and for a moment, I thought I had lost my cover.
After my Advanced Statistics classes, my professor requested to have a word with me and in that moment, my heart cut. Was I found out? God, this scholarship was all I had. As I walked towards his office, I reminded myself that I had done nothing nasty so even if I was questioned, I was just one of Cassians staff.
“Julian, I am glad you came.” Professor Dwane said immediately I shot the door behind me and I responded back with a smile. The less I said, the better.
“Please, sit.”
“Thank you, sir.” I said uncomfortably.
“Look, I am just going to go straight to the point. You know how important reputation and excellence is to us at Saint Dorian. You're a scholarship student and this only makes it easier to jeopardise what you have here.”
I took a deep breath to steady my shaking hands. “I totally understand that I wispered.” What was he on about? Did he know something?
“ I noticed you've been a bit distracted.” He said, answering my question like he had heard me. “ You missed assignments and didn't come for an explanation and Professor Jules said the same thing. Is everything alright with you?”
Phewwww, I was safe. I took a deep breath and smiled now that I was sure I was out of the zone.
“I am fine, sir. I've just been very busy.”
“You have something more important than your scholarship?” He asked with a frown on his face.
“No, no sir. Absolutely not.” I stammered.
“Good. Get your s**t together Jullian. You're a star but we do not tolerate indiscipline, not even from staff.”
“I sincerely apologize sir. I managed to say. “I will do my best.”
“You better do.” he said with a frown. “ That would be all.”
“Thank you for your concern professor,” I said, pushing the chair backwards and taking my leave. Immediately the door shut behind me, I leaned on the door and took a deep breath. Such a relief. What would I have done if I was bursted? Arranging my back pack, I headed for the dorm.
By Thursday, the pressure cracked. I skipped class, hiding in the music room, the only place left that felt quiet. I pressed my forehead against the cool piano lid, trying to breathe through the weight pressing down on my chest. I didn't hear the door open.
“Julian.”
His voice slid through the silence, low and firm. I froze in my chair at the sound of the all too familiar voice. “What are you doing here?”
“Breathe,” Cassian said, stepping closer. “In… Now out.”
His hand found the back of my neck and strangely, it felt grounding. I should have stopped myself but I followed his rhythm, shaky breaths falling into sync with his. When I finally looked up, his eyes weren’t hard. They were… human and concerned. And for the first time, I saw something raw beneath the stiff man with so many rules on control. I saw something fractured.
He sat beside me on the piano bench. Our knees brushed. Neither of us moved.
“I didn’t ask for this,” I whispered.
“I know,” he said quietly. “But you signed to be with me and I take care of what’s mine.”
The words should’ve angered me but instead, they left me breathless. Because behind the possessiveness, there was something else, a flicker of protectiveness I couldn’t name.
As he shifted, his shirt collar loosened slightly and I saw a thin scar trailing across his collarbone. It looked old and properly hidden. I instinctively stretched my hand but caught It last minute and pulled back.
He noticed.
“Curiosity,” he said, almost amused, “can be dangerous.”
“So can secrets.” I shot back and that earned me a sharp, assessing look.And suddenly, I was scared of his reaction but instead of being mad, his gaze softened. He reached out, his thumb brushing my chin.
“Curiosity kills a cat.” He said taking a step closer and his hot breath slapped against my skin making it tinge. “And you my darling do not seem to be aware of that.” His forehead pressed against mine and my breath hitched. The world narrowed to the space between us and in that quiet unspoken moment, all I felt was head.
I almost kissed him. Almost. But then he took a step backwards, leaving me hollow in the absence of his warmth.
“I have something to show you, meet me in the house tomorrow. Don't be late.”
………..
Later that night, I stared at my laptop, inbox open and the notifications blinked at the corner of the screen, one unread message waiting.
From: anonymous@stdorian.edu
Subject: Care to explain?
Completely curious, I clicked.
The email was a grainy photo, but it was clear enough. It was a picture of me stepping out of Cassian’s car at midnight with his hand on my back.
My blood ran cold. Someone knew.
Fuck! Someone was watching me and that wasn't good.
- Writer
