Unwanted Arrangement

4

Massi - Aunt

Maamu - Uncle

Badi Papa- Big father/ Uncle

Badi maa - Big mother / Aunt

Ishika Ahuja

"She's stable for now. But make sure to not give her any stress." I listened to the doctor carefully, as she examined maa." And her blood pressure is low, so make sure she eats something." I muttered a thank you to the doctor, who scribbled some prescription of medicines and handed it to Badi Maa before one of the servants walked her out.

I close my fingers around my mother's palm, assuring myself with the tiny pulse and barely there warmth I can feel on her.

My phone vibrated, and I ignore it. I've already told my assistant to push back any meetings I've had for a couple of days.

Badi Maa handed over the prescription to Raju, ordering him to buy them.

Raju leaves shutting the door behind me, leaving just me, badi maa and our security head, Gopal, alone in the room with maa.

"What happened to her?" I question her quietly, "How does she know the Kulkarni's? And why did she react that way on hearing about Mahesh Kulkarni's condition? And why the hell did you allow Daksh Kulkarni into our estate? He couldn't have come in without your permission."

I

Badi ma sighed, running her tired eyes over my maa's figure, "Ishika, I didn't approve of any visit by Kulkarni's. It is clearly your mother's doing. You can ask our security head, Gopal."

He nodded in my direction, confirming that maa was the one who allowed them in.

I turn back to badi maa, only to find her gaze fixated on maa, a conflict of emotions swirling in her eyes. My mom and badi maa had a cordial relationship but at times like this, I catch a glimpse of something unspoken creating a friction between them.

"You haven't answered my other question yet."

"You shouldn't worry yourself over these things. Just go back to office and don't worry about Piya. We'll take care of her."

I couldn't do that. Not when I've seen how maa lost a hold of herself today.

"Why won't you tell me what the reason is? Why is it such a secret?" I ask, my voice instinctively raising.

"Calm down, Ishika." I raise at the familiar voice, feeling the tension in my bones dissipate, relieved that I'll finally get my answers, even if I knew she was gonna be mad for hurling accusations at her mom.

Ananya Ahuja walks in with a black blazer wrapped around her shoulders , layered above white jumpsuit and black bouncy hair falling down just below her shoulders.

"I understand you're restless but yelling at mom won't give you the answers you want." She reprimands me, handing over a brown bag she dragged in with her to her mom.

"I've talked to the doctor on the way, she said maasi fainted because of stress. What happened mom?" She asked her mom softly, after dragging over the chair to maa's bedside and making me sit down.

"The Kulkarni's came over."

"What?" She sputtered out, looking at her mom with barely concealed surprise.

"Yes. And they bought the news that Mahesh Kulkarni is dying."

Realisation dawns on Ananya's face. I was right to suspect Ananya knew something of the origin of Kulkarni-Ahuja feud.

"Oh. Is it true?" Ananya asked suspiciously.

Which left me and maasi speechless.

"It's okay if you asked something like that here. Don't blurt out the same question infront of anyone else." Maasi replied, looking like she was stressing about an universe in which Ananya blurted out that to others.

But Ananya just stayed silent, deeply thinking.

I caught her wrists, prompting her to look at me.

"What do you know?" I was going to scream if no one gave me answers. Desperation clawed at my skin and helplessness was threatening to replace my blood.

Ananya wrapped her hands around my shoulders, her sweet scent of roses providing me the comfort I didn't think I deserve when my maa is unconscious.

I bursted into tears anyway, diving into her arms.

The click of the door locking sound over my waves of wails told me Gopal and Badi Maa left and it's just me, my pain and the girl who couldn't offer words of comfort even if she was at a gunpoint.

Ever since childhood, my mom has been my rock, even when she was scattering and being pushed back by the waves.

Unlucky. Bad Omen.

Those were the words everyone whispered about me when my father died a few months before my birth.

They honked the same words in my mother's head, when she was grieving and pregnant with me.

When Badi papa told me all about this, I choked with pain for my mother. I couldn't believe she went through so much and yet never let it show on her face. Every day she was sad, she always told me it was because she missed papa.

"She was on the brink of falling into depression. Me and your maasi were helpless watching her. But she woke up everyday from her bed, only for you. The unborn child in her womb. The only reminder of the love of her life." Shakthi Ahuja, my Maamu told me, hoping I would find a purpose or fire for my life.

Little did he know that those words tied my leg onto a rock which was thrown deep into the sea.

I could never fly again.

To fly, I need to be free of this guilt and gratitude I felt towards my maa.

That day, I was planning to run away from home, to pursue my dreams as an artist.

I abandoned those plans as soon as I heard what maamu had to say. I couldn't leave my maa.

Her love for me gave her the strength to live her life when nothing was worth living for, and now my love for her has to give me the strength to let go of my dreams.

But it isn't easy.

Every night, I dream.

My hand flourishes with the paintbrush in it. I dream of a smile on my face that blinds the room. I dream of the feelings it evoked in the hearts of people in my dreams. I dream of my heart dancing with happiness.

And I wake up with agony and heartache, knowing I could never live that dream.

Maybe dreams are not for those who aren't brave enough.

I know my mom would encourage me to pursue it, should I ever tell her. But I have a responsibility and obligation to run Ahuja Inc.

It was the only way I could pay Badi Papa back for not turning his back over my maa like her family and everyone related to papa did.

I was always lost in my world of art that I never gave any of this thought, but the more I thought about it, the more ungrateful I felt for trying to run away.

She held onto me until my cries subdued, "Are you okay now?"

I nodded, getting away from her, muttering "sorry."

She's not comfortable with more than necessary physical contact, but she's always let me hug her. I vowed to myself to never push her boundaries too hard even as a joke.

"Who delivered the news?" Ananya suddenly asked.

"Daksh and Saanvi." I reply with my hoarse voice.

"You asked why everyone is trying to keep it a secret, didn't you?" I nodded, while she poured water into a glass.

The air in the room felt constricting, mirroring how my heart felt.

She watched me quietly as I sip on water she offered me, "Your mom doesn't tell you because it's hard to relive everything she went through, my dad doesn't tell you because he's scared to lose you to your awareness of Kulkarni's existence and my mom doesn't tell you because she is bound by her vow to never speak a word to you of everything that went down."

"I surely hope you're not bound by any vow," I murmur, "or not."

knowing even if Ananya vowed to never speak of anything she knows, she wouldn't keep it. I've yet to see her not break an oath when it's convenient for her.

Ananya didn't smile at my attempt to joke, too lost in her thoughts.

"As far as what mom has told me," Ananya started, "Ramesh Kulkarni was like a father to Maasi."

I stared at her, shocked that I didn't know something as important as this.

Ananya continued, "Maasi was the adopted daughter of Ramesh Kulkarni's best friend, Giselle Salvati. Giselle was a prisoner to her addiction to drugs and had a very unstable mind. She was an orphan, so she's always wanted a family." Ananya said, removing the blazer pinned to her shoulders with a sigh.

"So, she adopted maasi when maasi was about 5 years old. But, since she was an addict to drugs, she could never properly take care of her. Hence, the role of her parents fell onto Ramesh Kulkarni and his beloved wife, Satya Kulkarni."

I take it all in carefully, overwhelmed at being unaware about so many things about my maa.

"Unfortunately, Giselle died in a few years because of a drug overdose. Ever since then, maasi grew up in the Kulkarni household. Ramesh Kulkarni's daughter, Sonakshi Kulkarni, who was about the same age as maasi, quickly got along with maasi and became best friends. Soon, it felt like Ramesh Kulkarni had two daughters instead of one and they've both been the apple of his eye."

"Things suddenly changed when," Ananya said slowly, pausing, "they grew up."

"What happened?" I asked, feeling restless when she stays quiet for longer than necessary.

"Your papa, Ishika." Ananya looked like she would rather not tell this story and I couldn't have that. My heart is in my throat and I'm a lost traveller in a desert when it's about any information about my papa.

I've found not many people like him. They call him loud, carefree and a nuisance. I didn't know my dad at all, to know if they meant it in good faith. No one speaks of him, except maa.

"You can tell me, you know." I held Ananya's palms tightly in between my hands, desperately begging her to not deprive me of my papa too.

"I don't mind if he was bad." I said with conviction I didn't feel. I didn't want to hear that my papa was a bad man.

My maa loved him too much for me to even suspect the truth

"Isha," Ananya looked offended that I would suggest something like that, and held my cheek in her palm, "your father was not a bad man. He was one of the kindest men my mom has ever met. That's no small compliment, considering it was said by my mom herself."

It felt good to hear that badi maa said something like that about papa.

"Everything became messy after he came back from abroad after finishing his degree." Ananya breathed, continuing.

"Our grandfather wanted to unite the Kulkarni and Ahuja families through marriage. Him and Ramesh Kulkarni, fixed the marriage of Sonakshi Kulkarni and your dad."

I grimaced on hearing that, finally getting a glimpse into what was the reason.

"As you've already guessed, your maa and papa fell in love instead. They tried to not feel what they felt for each other because your father was engaged to your mother's best friend, who was nothing less than a sister to her."

My heart felt heavy for them for having to supress their love for family, because I understood it too well.

"Your mother could bear to sacrifice her happiness, but your dad...I've heard he never listens to anyone." Ananya said, with a smile."I witnessed it myself when he painted my childhood bedroom walls despite everyone's protests."

My heart skipped a beat at that. I need to visit Ananya's childhood room.

"He somehow convinced maasi and ran away with her to get married. She wouldn't have done so if Sonakshi Kulkarni had any kind of feelings for him. Sonakshi Kulkarni wasn't mad when they came back. But..,"

"Ramesh Kulkarni was." I completed it for her. I couldn't imagine he felt good about my dad ditching his daughter and marrying someone who's like another daughter to him.

"Yeah." Ananya agreed. "He refused to accept the marriage and threw massi out of his house, declaring he no longer has any relationship with her, leaving her shattered."

"So.. that's the reason The Kulkarni's and Ahuja's are at odds?" I was confused, because it still felt like I was missing a big piece of the puzzle.

Ananya glanced at my maa, seeming uncomfortable.

"Let's rush upstairs." She suggested, making her way towards the lift.

Heart racing, I quickly followed her but not before placing a kiss on maa's forehead and covering her with a blanket

Why did Sonakshi Kulkarni never contact my mother? Did the Kulkarni's attend my papa's funeral or were they too blinded by the slight? How could they claim to love my mother like a daughter and abandon her in the same breath? What kind of a family doesn't console you when you're in pain?

Cold night air brushed my face when I stepped out onto the terrace, where Ananya was leaning against the railing, rubbing her palms on her arms for warmth.

I had a bad feeling about what she's about to say.

"Do you know how your father died?" Ananya asked, heaving a harsh breath.

"Yes. He was in an accident." I replied numbly. "Hit and Run case."

Ananya shook her head and my stomach churned.

"Ramesh Kulkarni was the reason."

My heart was threatening to beat out of my chest.

"What?" I yelled, no longer able to channel my patience of listening.

"What do you f*****g mean, Ananya?" I strode over to the railing she was leaning against, furious, confused and in disbelief.

"Yes, calm down and listen to me." Ananya said when I caught her arms, pressing her to reveal everything.

I couldn't calm down. Is she telling me that I've been living a lie, believing my father died because of his fate, when instead it was because of Ramesh Kulkarni?

"I don't know the specifics accurately. But Ramesh Kulkarni caught Mamu and Sonakshi Kulkarni together and he shot Mamu in a fit of rage, thinking that he was cheating on Maasi with Sonakshi. At that moment, he was blinded by the rage that your papa was continuing to do wrong by both his daughters."

I couldn't breathe. Truth was probably the strongest poison. It lay shattered hearts in its wake, and for what? For the peace the mind craves in truth?

I regretted ever asking to find out the truth. No wonder maa didn't ever tell me.

How could she even tell me?

"Yeah," Ananya laid a hand on my shoulder, "I know you need time to process this. Don't worry about work, I'll take care in the meantime."

I nodded, but caught her hand, stopping her in her tracks when she turned to leave.

Eyes down, I asked, "why did everyone cover it up as an accident?"

Ananya paused for a minute, tilting my head up, forcing me to look into her clear brown eyes.

"Because the Kulkarni's are powerful. Because they have connections. Because Maasi loves her father. Because no one had the power nor courage to lock Ramesh Kulkarni behind bars."

My shoulders droop, dejected. Everytime I face the harsh reality of this world, where some men are gods, some are kings while the others are peasants bowing to their orders, my heart weeps at the injustice and my fingers twitch, screaming at me to pick a paintbrush and pour out everything I've felt into a painting.

I drop Ananya's hand and she strides away, but pauses when she's about to descend the stairs.

"I didn't tell you this so you could hate the Kulkarni's and Ramesh Kulkarni too. I told you this because you asked and because I believed you would be the extinguisher rather than fuel to this hatred." Ananya said over her shoulder.

"Why shouldn't I hate them too?" I asked meekly.

Why shouldn't I loathe Ramesh Kulkarni for snatching my papa from me? Why shouldn't I hate him for throwing my maa out? Why shouldn't I hate him for being the reason my maa cried instead of being the one to console her in her time of need?

"Because I hope you would. Becausei think," Ananya Di cleared her throat, "he's not unjustified in his place. Was it tragic? Yes. Was he wrong? Yes. But he-" I cut her off before I had to hear more of her pragmatism.

"I don't care about his justifications and bottom lines, Ananya. You're telling me he's killed my dad and hoping I don't hate him? How is it fair to me?" I yelled, feeling betrayed she would suggest something like that.

I always had mixed feelings about her approach to life. It felt freeing and restrictive at the same time. At this moment, her hope felt like another metaphorical chain to my ankle.

"My hope is no burden of yours, Ishika." She snapped back, her voice getting tighter like when she's angry.

"I'm giving you an excuse to not hate him. Ask yourself, Isha. Do you hate him or are you just angry?"

"You've never met your dad, and didn't know much about him until I told you. You couldn't hate Ramesh Kulkarni for someone you didn't even know, let alone love. You love the idea of a father. You don't love Vidarbh Ahuja."

She clenched her jaw, "If you loved him you would be shattered like your maa and my dad."

I stared at her with red rimmed eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks at her words.

"You are too cruel, sometimes." I murmur, pained.

Just because I didn't ever know my papa, didn't mean I couldn't love him.

"You have two options, Ishika. Choose carefully," She said quickly, "Either be everyone and hate Kulkarni's too, or be the angel I believe you to be and unite the families. Think of your mom when you choose."

I watch Ananya leave with an urgency, my heart shattered at my feet and no sound reaching my ears above the buzz of silence in my head.